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我历来认为中国人是非常讲礼仪的,特别是中国人常常称赞外国朋友的语言能力、关于中国文化的知识、专业成果以及个人的健康状况。然而奇怪的是,当他们那样热切地赞美别人时,他们却不愿意接受称赞。如我的许多中国朋友所说,这是中国的谦虚美德的体现。 I have noticed a difference, though, in the degree to which modesty is emphasized in the United States and China. In the U.S., we tend to place more emphasis on "seeking the truth from facts;" thus, Americans tend to accept a compliment with gratitude. Chinese, on the other hand, tend to reject the compliment, even when they know they deserve the credit or recognition which has been awarded them. 然而,我注意到了中国和美国对谦虚所强调的程度的区别。美国人趋向于以感谢的话接受称赞。而中国人倾向于谢绝称赞,即使他们明知自己对于得到的荣誉和表彰当之无愧。 I can imagine a Chinese basketball fan meeting Michael Jordan of the Chicago Bulls. He might say, "Mr. Jordan, I am so happy to meet you. I just want to tell you, you are the best basketball player in the world; you're the greatest!" to which Jordan would probably respond, "Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! I just do try to do my best every time I step on the court." If an American met Deng Yaping, China's premier ping pong player, he might say much the same thing: "Ms. Deng, you're the best!" but as a Chinese, Deng would probably say, "No, I really don't play all that well, you're much too kind." 我能设想一位中国篮球迷见到芝加哥公牛队的迈克尔·乔丹时,他可能会说:"乔丹先生,见到你我真高兴,我想告诉你,你是世界上最好的篮球运动员,你真了不起。"我对乔丹大概会这样回答:"非常感谢,我真心地感谢你的一番话,在球场上每次我都是尽了我最大的努力。"如果一个美国人遇到了邓亚萍――中国的头号乒乓球运动员,他也会说很多类似的话:"……邓小姐 ,你是最棒的。"但是做为中国人,邓亚萍可能会说:"哪里,我打得不好,您过奖了。" Plainly, Americans and Chinese have different ways of responding to praise. Ironically, many Americans might consider Ms. Deng's hypothetical response the less modest, because it is less truthful - and therefore less sincere. Americans generally place sincerity above etiquette; genuine gratitude for the praise serves as a substitute for protestations of modesty. After all, in the words of one of my closest Chinese friends, modesty taken to the extreme is arrogance. 显然,美国人与中国人对称赞的反应方式不同。有趣的是很多美国人也许会认为以上假设的邓亚萍的回答不是谦虚,因为它不真实――因而也就不真诚。美国人总是将真诚置于礼仪之上,对赞扬采取的真诚谢意代替了谦虚的言词,毕竟,用我的一个中国好朋友的话说,谦虚过分就是骄傲。 | |
