目 录 上一节 下一节 
是的。" "Was the clergyman in?"" 牧师在吗?" "No."" 没有。" "Would he be in soon?"" 很快会回来吗?" "No, he was gone from home."" 不,他离开家了。" 
去很远的地方?" "Not so far--happen three mile. He had been called away by thesudden death of his father: he was at Marsh End now, and would verylikely stay there a fortnight longer."" 不太远一-三英里。他因为父亲突然去世被叫走了,眼下住在沼泽居,很可能还要再呆上两周。" "Was there any lady of the house?"" 家里有哪位小姐在吗?" "Nay, there was naught but her, and she was housekeeper;" and ofher, reader, I could not bear to ask the relief for want of which Iwas sinking; I could not yet beg; and again I crawled away." 没有,除了我没有别人,而我是管家。"读者呀,我不忍求她帮我摆脱越陷越深的困境,而我又不能乞讨,于是我再次退缩 Once more I took off my handkerchief--once more I thought of thecakes of bread in the little shop. Oh, for but a crust! for but onemouthful to allay the pang of famine! Instinctively I turned myface again to the village; I found the shop again, and I went in;and though others were there besides the woman I ventured therequest--"Would she give me a roll for this handkerchief?" 我又取下了围巾-一又想起了小店的面包。呵,就是一片面包屑也好!只要有一口就能减轻饥饿的痛苦,我本能地又把脸转向了村庄,我又看见了那个店,走了进去,尽管除了那女人里面还有其他人,我冒昧地提出了请求"你肯让我用这块围巾换一个面包卷吗?" 
她显然满腹狐疑地看着我,"不,我从来不那么卖东西。" Almost desperate, I asked for half a cake; she again refused. "Howcould she tell where I had got the handkerchief?" she said. 在几乎走投无路之中,我央求她换半个,她再次拒绝了。"我怎么知道你从什么地方弄来的围巾?"她说。 "Would she take my gloves?"" 你肯收这双手套吗?" "No! what could she do with them?"" 不行,我要它干什么?" Reader, it is not pleasant to dwell on these details. Some saythere is enjoyment in looking back to painful experience past; butat this day I can scarcely bear to review the times to which Iallude: the moral degradation, blent with the physical suffering,form too distressing a recollection ever to be willingly dwelt on.I blamed none of those who repulsed me. I felt it was what was tobe expected, and what could not be helped: an ordinary beggar isfrequently an object of suspicion; a well-dressed beggar inevitablyso. To be sure, what I begged was employment; but whose businesswas it to provide me with employment? Not, certainly, that ofpersons who saw me then for the first time, and who knew nothingabout my character. And as to the woman who would not take myhandkerchief in exchange for her bread, why, she was right, if theoffer appeared to her sinister or the exchange unprofitable. Let mecondense now. I am sick of the subject. 读者呀,叙述这些细节是不愉快的。有人说,回首痛苦的往事是一种享受。但就是在今天,我也不忍回顾我提到的那些时日,道德的堕落搀和着肉体的煎熬,构成了我不愿重提的痛苦回忆。我不责备任何一个冷眼待我的人,觉得这尽在意料之中,也是无可避免的。一个普通的乞丐往往是怀疑的对象,而一个穿著体面的乞丐,就必定是这样了。当然,我只恳求工作,但给我活干又是谁的事儿呢?当然不是那些初次见我,对我的为人一无所知的人的事。至于那个女人不肯让我用围巾换面包,那也是难怪的,要是我的提议在她后来居心叵测,或是这桩交换无利可图,那她的做法也是不错的。让我长话短说吧,我讨厌这个话题。 
天快黑的时候,我走过一家农户。农夫坐在敞开着的门口,正用面包和奶酪作晚餐。我站住说: "Will you give me a piece of bread? for I am very hungry." He caston me a glance of surprise; but without answering, he cut a thickslice from his loaf, and gave it to me. I imagine he did not thinkI was a beggar, but only an eccentric sort of lady, who had taken afancy to his brown loaf. As soon as I was out of sight of hishouse, I sat down and ate it." 能给我一片面包吗?因为我实在饿得慌。"他惊异地看了我一眼,但二话没说,便切了一厚片面包给我。我估计他并不认为我是个乞丐,而只是一位怪僻的贵妇,看中了他的黑面包了。我一走到望不见他屋子的地方,便坐下吃了起来。 I could not hope to get a lodging under a roof, and sought it in thewood I have before alluded to. But my night was wretched, my restbroken: the ground was damp, the air cold: besides, intruderspassed near me more than once, and I had again and again to changemy quarters; no sense of safety or tranquillity befriended me.Towards morning it rained; the whole of the following day was wet.Do not ask me, reader, to give a minute account of that day; asbefore, I sought work; as before, I was repulsed; as before, Istarved; but once did food pass my lips. At the door of a cottage Isaw a little girl about to throw a mess of cold porridge into a pigtrough. "Will you give me that?" I asked. 既然我无法期望在屋檐下借宿,那就让我到前面提到的林子里去过夜吧。但是那晚很糟糕,休息断断续续,地面很潮湿,空气十分寒冷,此外,不止一次地有外人路过,弄得我一次次换地方,没有安全感,也得不到清静。临近早晨天下雨了,第二天下了一整天。读者呀,别要我把那天的情况说个仔细。我像以前一样寻找工作,像以前一样遭到拒绝,像以前一样挨饿。不过有一回食物倒是进了嘴。在一间小茅屋门口,我看见一个小女孩正要把糊糟糟的冷粥倒进猪槽里。 She stared at me. "Mother!" she exclaimed, "there is a woman wantsme to give her these porridge."" 可以把它给我吗?"我问。她瞪着我。"妈妈!"她嚷道,"有个女的要我把粥给她。" "Well lass," replied a voice within, "give it her if she's a beggar.T pig doesn't want it."" 行呵,孩子,"里边的一个声音回答,"要是她是个乞丐,那就给了她吧,猪也不会要吃的。" 
这女孩把结了块的粥倒在我手上,我狼吞虎咽地吃掉了。 As the wet twilight deepened, I stopped in a solitary bridle-path,which I had been pursuing an hour or more. 湿润的黄昏越来越浓时,我在一条偏僻的马道上走了一个多小时后停了下来。 "My strength is quite failing me," I said in a soliloquy. "I feel Icannot go much farther. Shall I be an outcast again this night?While the rain descends so, must I lay my head on the cold, drenchedground? I fear I cannot do otherwise: for who will receive me?But it will be very dreadful, with this feeling of hunger,faintness, chill, and this sense of desolation--this totalprostration of hope. In all likelihood, though, I should die beforemorning. And why cannot I reconcile myself to the prospect ofdeath? Why do I struggle to retain a valueless life? Because Iknow, or believe, Mr. Rochester is living: and then, to die of wantand cold is a fate to which nature cannot submit passively. Oh,Providence! sustain me a little longer! Aid!--direct me!"" 我体力不行了,"我自言自语地说。"自己觉得走不了多远了。难道今晚又没有地方投宿?雨下得那么大,难道我又得把头靠在阴冷湿透的地面上吗?我担心自己别无选择了。谁肯接纳我呢?但是带着这种饥饿、昏眩、寒冷、凄楚的感觉-一一种绝望的心情,那着实可怕。不过很可能我捱不到早上就会死去。那么我为什么不能心甘情愿地死掉呢?为什么我还要挣扎来维持没有价值的生命?因为我知道,或是相信,罗切斯特先生还活着,另外,死于饥寒是天性所不能默认的命运。呵,上天呀!再支撑我一会儿!帮助我一-指引我吧!" My glazed eye wandered over the dim and misty landscape. I saw Ihad strayed far from the village: it was quite out of sight. Thevery cultivation surrounding it had disappeared. I had, by cross-ways and by-paths, once more drawn near the tract of moorland; andnow, only a few fields, almost as wild and unproductive as the heathfrom which they were scarcely reclaimed, lay between me and thedusky hill. 我那呆滞的眼睛徘徊在暗沉沉、雾蒙蒙的山水之间。我发现自己已远离村庄,因为它已在我视线中消失,村子周围的耕地也不见了。我已经穿小径,抄近路再次靠近了一大片荒原。此刻,在我与黑糊糊的小山之间,只有几小片田野,几乎没有很好开垦,和原来的欧石南差不多一样荒芜和贫瘠。 "Well, I would rather die yonder than in a street or on a frequentedroad," I reflected. "And far better that crows and ravens--if anyravens there be in these regions--should pick my flesh from mybones, than that they should be prisoned in a workhouse coffin andmoulder in a pauper's grave."" 是呀,与其倒毙街头或死在人来人往的路上,倒不加死到那边去,"我沉思着。"让乌鸦和渡鸦--要是那些地区有渡鸦的话--啄我骨头上的肉比装在贫民院的棺材里和穷光蛋的墓穴中要强。" 
随后我折向那座小山,并到了那里。现在就只剩找个能躺下来的地方了,就是并不安全,至少也是隐蔽的。可是荒原的表面看上去都一样平坦,只有色彩上有些差别;灯心草和苔藓茂密生长的湿地呈青色;而只长欧石南的干土壤是黑色的。虽然夜越来越黑,但我仍能看清这些差别,尽管它不过是光影的交替,因为颜色已经随日光而褪尽了。
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