目 录 上一节 下一节 
我第一次尝到了复仇的滋味。犹如芬芳的美酒，喝下时热辣辣好受，但回味起来却又苦又涩，给人有中了毒的感觉。此刻，我很乐意去求得里德太太的宽恕，但经验和直觉告诉我，那只会使她以加倍的蔑视讨厌我，因而会重又激起我天性中不安份的冲动。 I would fain exercise some better faculty than that of fiercespeaking; fain find nourishment for some less fiendish feeling thanthat of sombre indignation. I took a book--some Arabian tales; Isat down and endeavoured to read. I could make no sense of thesubject; my own thoughts swam always between me and the page I hadusually found fascinating. I opened the glass-door in thebreakfast-room: the shrubbery was quite still: the black frostreigned, unbroken by sun or breeze, through the grounds. I coveredmy head and arms with the skirt of my frock, and went out to walk ina part of the plantation which was quite sequestrated; but I foundno pleasure in the silent trees, the falling fir-cones, thecongealed relics of autumn, russet leaves, swept by past winds inheaps, and now stiffened together. I leaned against a gate, andlooked into an empty field where no sheep were feeding, where theshort grass was nipped and blanched. It was a very grey day; a mostopaque sky, "onding on snaw," canopied all; thence flakes felt itintervals, which settled on the hard path and on the hoary leawithout melting. I stood, a wretched child enough, whispering tomyself over and over again, "What shall I do?--what shall I do?" 我愿意发挥比说话刻薄更高明的才能，也愿意培养比郁愤更好的情感。我取了一本阿拉伯故事书，坐下来很想看看，却全然不知所云，我的思绪飘忽在我自己与平日感到引人入胜的书页之间。我打开早餐室的玻璃门，只见灌木丛中一片-沉寂，虽然风和日丽，严霜却依然覆盖着大地。我撩起衣裙裹住脑袋和胳膊，走出门去，漫步在一片僻静的树林里。但是沉寂的树木、掉下的杉果，以及那凝固了的秋天的遗物，被风吹成一堆如今又冻结了的行褐色树叶，都没有给我带来愉快。我倚在一扇大门上，凝望着空空的田野，那里没有觅食的羊群，只有冻坏了的苍白的浅草。这是一个灰蒙蒙的日子，降雪前的天空一片混沌，间或飘下一些雪片。落在坚硬的小径上，从在灰白的草地上，没有融化。我站立着，一付可怜巴巴的样子，一遍又一遍悄悄对自己说："我怎么办呢？我怎么办呢？" All at once I heard a clear voice call, "Miss Jane! where are you?Come to lunch!" 突然我听一个清晰的嗓音在叫唤，"简小姐，你在哪儿？快来吃中饭！" It was Bessie, I knew well enough; but I did not stir; her lightstep came tripping down the path. 是贝茜在叫，我心里很明白，不过我没有动弹。她步履轻盈地沿小径走来。 "You naughty little thing!" she said. "Why don't you come when youare called?"" 你这个小淘气！"她说，"叫你为什么不来？" 
比之刚才萦回脑际的念头，贝茜的到来似乎是令人愉快的，尽管她照例又有些生气。其实，同里德太太发生冲突。并占了上风之后，我并不太在乎保姆一时的火气，倒是希望分享她那充满活力、轻松愉快的心情。我只是用胳膊抱住了她，说："得啦，贝茜别骂我了。" The action was more frank and fearless than any I was habituated toindulge in: somehow it pleased her. 这个动作比我往常所纵情的任何举动都要直率大胆，不知怎地，倒使贝茜高兴了。 "You are a strange child, Miss Jane," she said, as she looked downat me; "a little roving, solitary thing: and you are going toschool, I suppose?"" 你是个怪孩子，简小姐，"她说，低头看着我："一个喜欢独来独往的小东西。你要去上学了，我想是不是？" I nodded. 我点了点头。 "And won't you be sorry to leave poor Bessie?"" 离开可怜的贝茜你不难过吗？" 
贝茜在乎我什么呢？她老是骂我。" "Because you're such a queer, frightened, shy little thing. Youshould be bolder."" 谁叫你是那么个古怪、胆小、怕难为情的小东西，你应该胆大一点。" "What! to get more knocks?"" 什么！好多挨几顿打？" "Nonsense! But you are rather put upon, that's certain. My mothersaid, when she came to see me last week, that she would not like alittle one of her own to be in your place.--Now, come in, and I'vesome good news for you."" 瞎说！不过你常受欺侮，那倒是事实。上星期我母亲来看我的时候说，她希望自己哪一个小家伙也不要像你一样。好吧，进去吧，我有个好消息告诉你，" "I don't think you have, Bessie."" 我想你没有，贝茜。" 
孩子！你这是什么意思？你盯着我的那双眼睛多么忧郁！瞧！太太、小姐和约翰少爷今天下午都出去用茶点了，你可以跟我一起吃茶点。我会叫厨师给你烘一个小饼，随后你要帮我检查一下你抽屉，因为我马上就要为你整理箱子了。太太想让你一两天内离开盖茨黑德，你可以拣你喜欢的玩具随身带走。" "Bessie, you must promise not to scold me any more till I go."" 贝茜，你得答应我在走之前不再骂我了。" "Well, I will; but mind you are a very good girl, and don't beafraid of me. Don't start when I chance to speak rather sharply;it's so provoking."" 好吧，我答应你，不过别忘了做个好孩子，而且也别怕我。要是我偶然说话尖刻了些，你别吓一大跳，因为那很使人恼火。" "I don't think I shall ever be afraid of you again, Bessie, becauseI have got used to you, and I shall soon have another set of peopleto dread."" 我想我再也不怕你了，贝茜，因为我已经习惯了，很快我又有另外一批人要怕了。" "If you dread them they'll dislike you."" 如果你怕他们，他们会不喜欢你的。" 
像你一样吗，贝茜？" "I don't dislike you, Miss; I believe I am fonder of you than of allthe others."" 我并不是不喜欢你，小姐，我相信，我比其他人都要喜欢你。" "You don't show it."" 你没有表现出来。" "You little sharp thing! you've got quite a new way of talking.What makes you so venturesome and hardy?"" 你这狡猾的小东西：你说话的口气不一样了，怎么会变得那么大胆和鲁莽呢？" "Why, I shall soon be away from you, and besides"--I was going tosay something about what had passed between me and Mrs. Reed, but onsecond thoughts I considered it better to remain silent on thathead." 呵，我不久就要离开你了，再说--"我正想谈谈我与里德太太之间发生的事，但转念一想，还是不说为好。 
那么你是乐意离开我了？" "Not at all, Bessie; indeed, just now I'm rather sorry."" 没有那回事，贝茜，说真的，现在我心里有些难过。" "Just now! and rather! How coolly my little lady says it! I daresay now if I were to ask you for a kiss you wouldn't give it me:you'd say you'd RATHER not.""' 现在'，'有些'，我的小姐说得多冷静！我想要是我现在要求吻你一下，你是不会答应的，你会说，还是不要吧。" "I'll kiss you and welcome: bend your head down." Bessie stooped;we mutually embraced, and I followed her into the house quitecomforted. That afternoon lapsed in peace and harmony; and in theevening Bessie told me some of her most enchaining stories, and sangme some of her sweetest songs. Even for me life had its gleams ofsunshine." 我来吻你，而且我很乐意，把你的头低下来。"贝茜弯下了腰，我们相互拥抱着，我跟着她进了屋子，得到了莫大安慰。下午在和谐平静中过去了。晚上，贝茜给我讲了一些最动人的故事，给我唱了几支她最动听的歌，即便是对我这样的人来说，生活中也毕竟还有几缕阳光呢。
| 
