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那有什么关系？比这更不般配的婚姻每天都有呢。" "True: yet I should scarcely fancy Mr. Rochester would entertain anidea of the sort. But you eat nothing: you have scarcely tastedsince you began tea."" 那是事实，但我不会认为罗切斯特先生会抱有那种想法。--可是你什么也没吃，从开始吃茶点到现在，你几乎没有尝过一口。" "No: I am too thirsty to eat. Will you let me have another cup?"" 不，我太渴了，吃不下去。让我再喝一杯行吗？" I was about again to revert to the probability of a union betweenMr. Rochester and the beautiful Blanche; but Adele came in, and theconversation was turned into another channel. 我正要重新将话题扯到罗切斯特先生和漂亮的布兰奇小姐有没有结合的可能性上，阿黛勒进来了，谈话也就转到了别的方面。 When once more alone, I reviewed the information I had got; lookedinto my heart, examined its thoughts and feelings, and endeavouredto bring back with a strict hand such as had been straying throughimagination's boundless and trackless waste, into the safe fold ofcommon sense. 当我复又独处时，我细想了听到的情况，窥视了我的心灵，审察了我的思想和情感，努力用一双严厉的手，把那些在无边无际、无路可循的想象荒野上徘徊的一切，纳入常识的可靠规范之中。 
我在自己的法庭上受到了传讯。记忆出来作证，陈述了从昨夜以来我所怀的希望、意愿和情感，陈述了过去近两周我所沉溺的一般思想状态。理智走到前面，不慌不忙地讲了一个朴实无华的故事，揭示了我如何拒绝了现实，狂热地吞下了理想。我宣布了大致这样的判决： That a greater fool than Jane Eyre had never breathed the breath oflife; that a more fantastic idiot had never surfeited herself onsweet lies, and swallowed poison as if it were nectar. 世上还不曾有过比简.爱更大的傻瓜，还没有一个更异想天开的白痴，那么轻信甜蜜的谎言、把毒药当作美酒吞下。 "YOU," I said, "a favourite with Mr. Rochester? YOU gifted with thepower of pleasing him? YOU of importance to him in any way? Go!your folly sickens me. And you have derived pleasure fromoccasional tokens of preference--equivocal tokens shown by agentleman of family and a man of the world to a dependent and anovice. How dared you? Poor stupid dupe!--Could not even self-interest make you wiser? You repeated to yourself this morning thebrief scene of last night?--Cover your face and be ashamed! He saidsomething in praise of your eyes, did he? Blind puppy! Open theirbleared lids and look on your own accursed senselessness! It doesgood to no woman to be flattered by her superior, who cannotpossibly intend to marry her; and it is madness in all women to leta secret love kindle within them, which, if unreturned and unknown,must devour the life that feeds it; and, if discovered and respondedto, must lead, ignis-fatus-like, into miry wilds whence there is noextrication." 你，"我说，"得宠于罗切斯特先生吗？你有讨他欢心的天赋吗？你有哪一点对他来说举足轻重吗？滚开！你的愚蠢让我厌烦。而你却因为人家偶尔表示了喜欢便乐滋滋的，殊不知这是一个出身名门的绅士，一个精于世故的人对一个下属、一个初出毛庐的人所作的暧昧表示。你好大的胆子，愚蠢得可怜的受骗者。--难道想到自身的利益都不能让你聪明些吗？今天早上你反复叨念着昨夜的短暂情景啦？--蒙起你的脸，感到羞愧吧，他说了几句称赞你眼晴的话、是吗？盲目的自命不凡者，睁开那双模糊的眼睛，瞧瞧你自己该死的糊涂劲儿吧！受到无意与她结婚的上司的恭维，对随便哪个女人来说都没有好处。爱情之火悄悄地在内心点燃，得不到回报，不为对方所知，必定会吞没煽起爱的生命；要是被发现了，得到了回报，必定犹如鬼火，将爱引入泥泞的荒地而不能自拔。对所有的女人来说，那简直是发疯。" "Listen, then, Jane Eyre, to your sentence: tomorrow, place theglass before you, and draw in chalk your own picture, faithfully,without softening one defect; omit no harsh line, smooth away nodispleasing irregularity; write under it, 'Portrait of a Governess,disconnected, poor, and plain.'" 那么，简.爱，听着对你的判决：明天，把镜子放在你面前，用粉笔绘出你自己的画像，要照实画，不要淡化你的缺陷，不要省略粗糙的线条，不要抹去令人讨厌的不匀称的地方，并在画像下面书上'孤苦无依、相貌平庸的家庭女教师肖像。" "Afterwards, take a piece of smooth ivory--you have one prepared inyour drawing-box: take your palette, mix your freshest, finest,clearest tints; choose your most delicate camel-hair pencils;delineate carefully the loveliest face you can imagine; paint it inyour softest shades and sweetest lines, according to the descriptiongiven by Mrs. Fairfax of Blanche Ingram; remember the ravenringlets, the oriental eye;--What! you revert to Mr. Rochester as amodel! Order! No snivel!--no sentiment!--no regret! I will endureonly sense and resolution. Recall the august yet harmoniouslineaments, the Grecian neck and bust; let the round and dazzlingarm be visible, and the delicate hand; omit neither diamond ring norgold bracelet; portray faithfully the attire, aerial lace andglistening satin, graceful scarf and golden rose; call it 'Blanche,an accomplished lady of rank.'" 然后，拿出一块光滑的象牙来--你在画盒子里有一块备着：拿出你的调色板，把你最新、最漂亮、最明洁的色泽调起来，选择你最精细的骆驼毛画笔，仔细地画出你所能想象的最漂亮的脸蛋，根据费尔法克斯太太对布兰奇.英格拉姆的描绘，用最柔和的浓淡差别，最甜蜜的色泽来画。记住乌黑的头发，东方式的眸子--什么！你把罗切斯特先生作为模持儿，镇静！别哭鼻子！--不要感情用事！--不要反悔！我只能忍受理智和决心。回忆一下那庄重而和谐的面部特征，希腊式的脖子和胸部，露出圆圆的光彩照人的胳膊和纤细的手。不要省掉钻石耳环和金手镯。一丝不差地画下衣服、悬垂的花边、闪光的缎子、雅致的围巾和金色的玫瑰，把这幅肖像画题作'多才多艺的名门闺秀布兰奇。'" 
我会这么干的，"我打定了注意。决心一下，人也就平静下来了，于是便沉沉睡去。 I kept my word. An hour or two sufficed to sketch my own portraitin crayons; and in less than a fortnight I had completed an ivoryminiature of an imaginary Blanche Ingram. It looked a lovely faceenough, and when compared with the real head in chalk, the contrastwas as great as self-control could desire. I derived benefit fromthe task: it had kept my head and hands employed, and had givenforce and fixedness to the new impressions I wished to stampindelibly on my heart. 我说到做到，一二个小时便用蜡笔画成了自己的肖像。而用了近两周的工夫完成了一幅想象中的布兰奇.英格拉姆象牙微型画。这张脸看上去是够可爱的，同用蜡笔根据真人画成的头像相比，其对比之强烈已到了自制力所能承受的极限。我很得益于这一做法。它使我的脑袋和双手都不闲着，也使我希望在心里烙下的不可磨灭的新印象更强烈，更不可动摇。 Ere long, I had reason to congratulate myself on the course ofwholesome discipline to which I had thus forced my feelings tosubmit. Thanks to it, I was able to meet subsequent occurrenceswith a decent calm, which, had they found me unprepared, I shouldprobably have been unequal to maintain, even externally. 不久我有理由庆幸自己，在迫使我的情感服从有益的纪律方面有所长进。多亏了它，我才能够大大方方、平平静静地对付后来发生的事情，要是我毫无准备，那恐怕是连表面的镇静都是无法保持的。 A week passed, and no news arrived of Mr. Rochester: ten days, andstill he did not come. Mrs. Fairfax said she should not besurprised if he were to go straight from the Leas to London, andthence to the Continent, and not show his face again at Thornfieldfor a year to come; he had not unfrequently quitted it in a mannerquite as abrupt and unexpected. When I heard this, I was beginningto feel a strange chill and failing at the heart. I was actuallypermitting myself to experience a sickening sense of disappointment;but rallying my wits, and recollecting my principles, I at oncecalled my sensations to order; and it was wonderful how I got overthe temporary blunder--how I cleared up the mistake of supposing Mr.Rochester's movements a matter in which I had any cause to take avital interest. Not that I humbled myself by a slavish notion ofinferiority: on the contrary, I just said - 一个星期过去了，却不见罗切斯特先生的消息，十天过去了，他仍旧没有来。费尔法克斯太太说，要是他直接从里斯去伦敦，并从那儿转道去欧洲大陆，一年内不再在桑菲尔德露面，她也不会感到惊奇，因为他常常出乎意料地说走就走，听她这么一说，我心里冷飕飕沉甸甸的，实际上我在任凭自己陷入一种令人厌恶的失落感，不过我调动了智慧，重建了原则，立刻使自己的感觉恢复了正常，说来也让人惊奇，我终于纠正了一时的过错，清除了认为有理由为罗切斯特先生的行动操心的错误想法。我并没有低声下气，怀着奴性十足的自卑感，相反，我只说： "You have nothing to do with the master of Thornfield, further thanto receive the salary he gives you for teaching his protegee, and tobe grateful for such respectful and kind treatment as, if you doyour duty, you have a right to expect at his hands. Be sure that isthe only tie he seriously acknowledges between you and him; so don'tmake him the object of your fine feelings, your raptures, agonies,and so forth. He is not of your order: keep to your caste, and betoo self-respecting to lavish the love of the whole heart, soul, andstrength, where such a gift is not wanted and would be despised."" 你同桑菲尔德的主人无关，无非是拿了他给的工资，去教他的被保护人而已，你感激他体面友好的款待。不过你尽了职，得到这样的款待是理所应当的。这是你与他之间他唯一严肃承认的关系。所以不要把你的柔情、你的狂喜、你的痛苦等等系在他身上。他不属于你的阶层。记住你自己的社会地位吧，要充分自尊，免得把全身心的爱，徒然浪费在不需要甚至瞧不起这份礼物的地方。" 
我平静地干着一天的工作。不过脑海中时时隐约闪过我要离开桑菲尔德的理由，我不由自主地设计起广告，预测起新的工作来。这些想法，我没有必要去制止，它们也许会生根发芽，还可能结出果子来。 Mr. Rochester had been absent upwards of a fortnight, when the postbrought Mrs. Fairfax a letter. 罗切斯特先生离家已经两周多了，这时候邮差送来了一封给费尔法克斯太太的信。 "It is from the master," said she, as she looked at the direction."Now I suppose we shall know whether we are to expect his return ornot."" 是老爷写来的，"她后了看姓名地址说，"现在我想可以知道能不能盼他回来了。" And while she broke the seal and perused the document, I went ontaking my coffee (we were at breakfast): it was hot, and Iattributed to that circumstance a fiery glow which suddenly rose tomy face. Why my hand shook, and why I involuntarily spilt half thecontents of my cup into my saucer, I did not choose to consider. 她在拆开封口仔细看信时，我继续喝我的咖啡（我们在吃早饭）。咖啡很热，我把脸上突然泛起的红晕看作是它的缘故。不过，我的手为什么抖个不停，为什么我情不自禁地把半杯咖啡溢到了碟子上，我就不想去考虑了。
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