目 录 上一节 下一节 
好吧，那你可以告诉她们，我希望你呆着，直到我能谈谈一些我心里想着的事情。今天夜里已经太晚了，而且回忆起来有困难。不过有些事情我很想说--让我想想看--" The wandering look and changed utterance told what wreck had takenplace in her once vigorous frame. Turning restlessly, she drew thebedclothes round her; my elbow, resting on a corner of the quilt,fixed it down: she was at once irritated. 游移的目光和走了样的语调表明，她那一度精力旺盛的肌体，已经元气大伤。她焦躁地翻着身，用被头将自己裹好，我的一只胳膊时正好搁在被角上，把它压住了，她立刻非常恼火。 "Sit up!" said she; "don't annoy me with holding the clothes fast.Are you Jane Eyre?"" 坐直了！"她说，"别那么死压着被头让我生气--你是简.爱吗？" "I am Jane Eyre."" 我是简.爱。" "I have had more trouble with that child than any one would believe.Such a burden to be left on my hands--and so much annoyance as shecaused me, daily and hourly, with her incomprehensible disposition,and her sudden starts of temper, and her continual, unnaturalwatchings of one's movements! I declare she talked to me once likesomething mad, or like a fiend--no child ever spoke or looked as shedid; I was glad to get her away from the house. What did they dowith her at Lowood? The fever broke out there, and many of thepupils died. She, however, did not die: but I said she did--I wishshe had died!"" 谁都不知道这个孩子给我造成了多大麻烦。这么大一个包袱落在我手里--她的性情让人摸不透，她的脾气说发就发，她还总是怪里怪气窥探别人的行动，这些每日每时都给我带来那么多烦恼：我说呀，有一次她同我说话，像是发了疯似的，或者活象一个魔鬼--没有哪个孩子会像她那样说话或看人。我很高兴把她从这里打发走了。在罗沃德他们是怎么对付她的呢？那里爆发了热病，很多孩子都死了。而她居然没有死。不过我说过她死了--但愿她已经死了！" 
一个奇怪的愿望，里德太太，你为什么竟会这么恨她呢？" "I had a dislike to her mother always; for she was my husband's onlysister, and a great favourite with him: he opposed the family'sdisowning her when she made her low marriage; and when news came ofher death, he wept like a simpleton. He would send for the baby;though I entreated him rather to put it out to nurse and pay for itsmaintenance. I hated it the first time I set my eyes on it--asickly, whining, pining thing! It would wail in its cradle allnight long--not screaming heartily like any other child, butwhimpering and moaning. Reed pitied it; and he used to nurse it andnotice it as if it had been his own: more, indeed, than he evernoticed his own at that age. He would try to make my childrenfriendly to the little beggar: the darlings could not bear it, andhe was angry with them when they showed their dislike. In his lastillness, he had it brought continually to his bedside; and but anhour before he died, he bound me by vow to keep the creature. Iwould as soon have been charged with a pauper brat out of aworkhouse: but he was weak, naturally weak. John does not at allresemble his father, and I am glad of it: John is like me and likemy brothers--he is quite a Gibson. Oh, I wish he would ceasetormenting me with letters for money? I have no more money to givehim: we are getting poor. I must send away half the servants andshut up part of the house; or let it off. I can never submit to dothat--yet how are we to get on? Two-thirds of my income goes inpaying the interest of mortgages. John gambles dreadfully, andalways loses--poor boy! He is beset by sharpers: John is sunk anddegraded--his look is frightful--I feel ashamed for him when I seehim."" 我一直讨厌她母亲，因为她是我丈夫唯一的妹妹，很讨他喜欢。家里因为她下嫁而同她脱离了关系，他坚决反对。她的死讯传来时，他哭得像个傻瓜。他要把孩子去领来，尽管我求他还是送出去让人喂养，付养育费好。我头一回见了便讨厌她--完全是个哭哭啼啼身体有病的东西！她会在摇篮里整夜哭个不停--不像别的孩子那样放开喉咙大哭，而是咿咿呀呀，哼哼唧唧。里德怜她，亲自喂她，仿佛自己孩子似地关心她。说实在，自己的孩子在那个年纪他还没有那么花心思呢。他要我的孩子跟这个小讨饭友好相处，宝贝们受不了，露出对她的讨厌，里德为此非常生气。他病重的日子，还不住地叫人把她抱到他床边，而临终前一小时让我立誓抚养她。我情愿养育一个从济贫院里出来的小叫化子。可是他软弱，生性软弱。约翰一点不象他父亲，我为此感到高兴。约翰象我，象我的兄弟们--一个十足的吉卜森家的人。呵，但愿他不要老是写信讨钱来折磨我！我已经没有钱可以给他了。我们穷了。我得打发掉一半的佣人，关掉部分房子，或者租出去。我从来不忍心这么做--可是日子怎么过呢？我三分之二的收入都付了抵押的利息。约翰赌得厉害，又总是输--可怜的孩子！他陷进了赌棍窝里。约翰名誉扫地，完全堕落了--他的样子很可怕--我见到他就为他感到丢脸。" She was getting much excited. "I think I had better leave her now,"said I to Bessie, who stood on the other side of the bed. 她变得十分激动。"我想现在还是离开她好。"我对站在床另一边的贝茜说。 "Perhaps you had, Miss: but she often talks in this way towardsnight--in the morning she is calmer."" 也许是这样，小姐，不过晚上她老是这么说话的--早上比较镇静。" I rose. "Stop!" exclaimed Mrs. Reed, "there is another thing Iwished to say. He threatens me--he continually threatens me withhis own death, or mine: and I dream sometimes that I see him laidout with a great wound in his throat, or with a swollen andblackened face. I am come to a strange pass: I have heavytroubles. What is to be done? How is the money to be had?" 我立起身来。"站住！"里德太太叫道。"还有件事我要同你说。他威胁我--不断地用他的死或我的死来威胁我。有时我梦见他躺着，喉咙上一个大窟隆，或者一脸鼻青眼肿。我已经闯入了一个奇怪的关口，困难重重。该怎么办呢？钱从哪儿来？" 
此刻，贝茜竭力劝她服用镇静剂，费了好大劲才说服她。里德太太很快镇静下来了，陷入了昏睡状态，随后我便离开了她。 More than ten days elapsed before I had again any conversation withher. She continued either delirious or lethargic; and the doctorforbade everything which could painfully excite her. Meantime, Igot on as well as I could with Georgiana and Eliza. They were verycold, indeed, at first. Eliza would sit half the day sewing,reading, or writing, and scarcely utter a word either to me or hersister. Georgiana would chatter nonsense to her canary bird by thehour, and take no notice of me. But I was determined not to seem ata loss for occupation or amusement: I had brought my drawingmaterials with me, and they served me for both. 十多天过去了我才再次同她交谈。她仍旧昏迷不醒或是恹恹无力。医生禁止一切会痛苦地使她激动的事情。同时，我尽力跟乔治亚娜和伊丽莎处好关系。说实在她们起初十分冷淡。伊丽莎会老半天坐着，缝呀，读呀，写呀，对我或是她妹妹不吭一声。这时候乔治亚娜会对着她的金丝雀胡说一通，而不理睬我。但我决计不显出无所事事，或是不知如何消磨时光的样子。我带来了绘画工具，既使自己有事可做，又有了消遣。 Provided with a case of pencils, and some sheets of paper, I used totake a seat apart from them, near the window, and busy myself insketching fancy vignettes, representing any scene that happenedmomentarily to shape itself in the ever-shifting kaleidoscope ofimagination: a glimpse of sea between two rocks; the rising moon,and a ship crossing its disk; a group of reeds and water-flags, anda naiad's head, crowned with lotus-flowers, rising out of them; anelf sitting in a hedge-sparrow's nest, under a wreath of hawthorn-bloom 我拿了画笔和画纸，远离她们，在一个靠窗的地方坐下，忙乎着画一些幻想的人头象，表现瞬息万变万花筒似的想象世界中刹那间出现的景象。例如，两块岩石之间的一片大海，初升的月亮，横穿月亮的一条船，一丛芦苇和景象，一个仙女头戴荷花从中探出头来，一个小精灵坐在一圈山楂花下的篱雀窝里。 One morning I fell to sketching a face: what sort of a face it wasto be, I did not care or know. I took a soft black pencil, gave ita broad point, and worked away. Soon I had traced on the paper abroad and prominent forehead and a square lower outline of visage:that contour gave me pleasure; my fingers proceeded actively to fillit with features. Strongly-marked horizontal eyebrows must betraced under that brow; then followed, naturally, a well-definednose, with a straight ridge and full nostrils; then a flexible-looking mouth, by no means narrow; then a firm chin, with a decidedcleft down the middle of it: of course, some black whiskers werewanted, and some jetty hair, tufted on the temples, and waved abovethe forehead. Now for the eyes: I had left them to the last,because they required the most careful working. I drew them large;I shaped them well: the eyelashes I traced long and sombre; theirids lustrous and large. "Good! but not quite the thing," Ithought, as I surveyed the effect: "they want more force andspirit;" and I wrought the shades blacker, that the lights mightflash more brilliantly--a happy touch or two secured success.There, I had a friend's face under my gaze; and what did it signifythat those young ladies turned their backs on me? I looked at it; Ismiled at the speaking likeness: I was absorbed and content. 一天早晨，我开始画一张脸，至于一张什么样的脸，我既不在乎，也不知道。我取了一支黑色软铅笔，把笔尖留得粗粗的，画了起来。我立刻在纸上勾勒出了一个又宽又突的前额和下半个脸方方正正的轮廓。这个外形使我感到愉快，我的手指赶忙填上了五官，在额头下得画两道平直显眼的眉毛，下面自然是线条清晰的鼻子，笔直的鼻梁和大大的鼻孔，随后是看上去很灵活长得不小的嘴巴，再后是坚毅的下巴，中间有一个明显的裂痕。当然还缺黑黑的络腮胡，以及乌黑的头发，一簇簇长在两鬓和波浪似地生有前额。现在要画眼睛了，我把它们留到最后，因为最需要小心从事。我把眼睛画得很大，形状很好，长而浅黑的睫毛，大而发亮的眼珠。"行！不过不完全如此，"我一边观察效果，一边思忖道："它们还缺乏量和神采。"我把暗处加深，好让明亮处更加光芒闪烁--巧妙地抹上一笔两笔，便达到了这种效果。这样，在我的目光下就显出了一位朋友的面孔，那几位小姐对我不理睬又有什么外系呢？我瞧着它，对着逼真的画面微笑，全神贯注，心满意足。 "Is that a portrait of some one you know?" asked Eliza, who hadapproached me unnoticed. I responded that it was merely a fancyhead, and hurried it beneath the other sheets. Of course, I lied:it was, in fact, a very faithful representation of Mr. Rochester.But what was that to her, or to any one but myself? Georgiana alsoadvanced to look. The other drawings pleased her much, but shecalled that "an ugly man." They both seemed surprised at my skill.I offered to sketch their portraits; and each, in turn, sat for apencil outline. Then Georgiana produced her album. I promised tocontribute a water-colour drawing: this put her at once into goodhumour. She proposed a walk in the grounds. Before we had been outtwo hours, we were deep in a confidential conversation: she hadfavoured me with a description of the brilliant winter she had spentin London two seasons ago--of the admiration she had there excited--the attention she had received; and I even got hints of the titledconquest she had made. In the course of the afternoon and eveningthese hints were enlarged on: various soft conversations werereported, and sentimental scenes represented; and, in short, avolume of a novel of fashionable life was that day improvised by herfor my benefit. The communications were renewed from day to day:they always ran on the same theme--herself, her loves, and woes. Itwas strange she never once adverted either to her mother's illness,or her brother's death, or the present gloomy state of the familyprospects. Her mind seemed wholly taken up with reminiscences ofpast gaiety, and aspirations after dissipations to come. She passedabout five minutes each day in her mother's sick-room, and no more." 那是你熟人的一幅肖像吗，"伊丽莎问，她己悄悄地走近了我。我回答说，这不过是凭空想象的一个头，一面赶忙把它塞到其它画纸底下。当然我扯了个谎，其实那是对罗切斯特先生的真实刻划。但那跟她，或是除我之外随便哪个人有什么关系呢？乔治亚娜也溜过来看看。她对别的画都很满意，却把那一幅说成是"一个丑陋的男人"，她们两个对我的技艺感到吃惊，我表示要为她们画肖像，两人轮流坐着让我打铅笔草图。随后乔治亚娜拿出了她的画册。我答应画一幅水彩画让她收进去，她听了情绪立刻好转，建议到庭园里去走走，出去还不到两个小时，我们便无话不谈了。她向我描述了两个社交季节之前在伦敦度过的辉煌的冬天--如何受到倾慕--如何引人注目，甚至暗示还征服了一些贵族。那天下午和晚上，她把这些暗示又加以扩充，转述各类情意绵绵的交谈，描绘了不少多愁善感的场面。总之那天她为我临时编造了一部时髦生活的小说。谈话一天天继续着，始终围绕着一个主题--她自己，她的爱情和苦恼。很奇怪，她一次也没有提到母亲的病和哥哥的死，也没有说起眼下一家的暗淡前景。她似乎满脑子都是对昔曰欢乐的回忆和对未来放荡的向往，每天在她母亲的病榻前只呆上五分钟。
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