目 录 上一节 下一节 
一个小时以后，玛格丽特已经躺在我的怀抱里，那时她即使要我去犯罪我也会听从的。 I left her at six in the morning. Before I went, I said: 早晨六点钟我要走了，在走之前我问她说： 'Shall I see you this evening?' “今晚见吗？” She kissed me harder, but did not reply. 她热烈地吻我，但是没有回答我的话。 During the day, I received a letter containing these words: 白天，我收到一封信，上面写着这样几句话： 
亲爱的孩子： 我有点不舒服，医生嘱咐我休息，今晚我要早些睡，我们就不见面了。但是为了给您补偿，明天中午我等您。我爱您。 My first thought was: 'She's deceiving me!' 我第一个念头就是：她在骗我！ An icy sweat broke out on my forehead, for I was already too much in love with her not to be aghast at the thought. 我额头上沁出一阵冷汗，我已经深深地爱上了这个女人，因此这个猜疑使我心烦意乱。 And yet I was going to have to expect it to happen almost daily with Marguerite; it had often happened with my other mistresses without it ever bothering me too much. How was it then that this woman had such power over my life? 然而，我应该预料到，跟玛格丽特在一起，这种事几乎每天都可能发生。这种事过去我和别的情妇之间也经常出现，但是我都没有把它放在心上。那么这个女人对我的生命为什么有这样大的支配力呢？ Then, since I had the key to her apartment, I thought I might call and see her as usual. In this way, I should know the truth soon enough, and if I found a man there, I would offer to give him satisfaction. 这时候我想，既然我有她家里的钥匙，我何不就像平时一样去看她。这样我会很快知道真相，如果我碰到一个男人的话，我就打他的耳光。 
这时，我到了香榭丽舍大街，在那里溜达了足足有四个小时，她没有出现。晚上，凡是她经常去的几家剧院我都去了，哪一家也没有她的影子。 At eleven o'clock, I made my way to the rue d'Antin. 十一点钟，我来到了昂坦街。 There was no light in any of Marguerite's windows. Even so, I rang. 玛格丽特家的窗户里没有灯光，我还是拉了门铃。 The porter asked me where I wanted to go. 看门人问我找哪一家。 'To Mademoiselle Gautier's, ' I said. “找戈蒂埃小姐家。”我对他说。 
“她还没有回来。” 'I'll go up and wait.' “我到上面去等她。” 'There's nobody in.' “她家里一个人也没有。” Of course, he had his orders which I could have circumvented since I had a key, but I was afraid of an embarrassing scene and went away. 当然，既然我有钥匙，我可以不理睬这个不让我进去的禁令，但是我怕闹出笑话来，于是我就走了。 But I did not go home. I could not leave the street and did not take my eyes off Marguerite's house for a moment. I felt that I still had something to learn, or at least that my suspicions were about to be confirmed. 不过，我没有回家，我离不开这条街，我的眼睛一直盯着玛格丽特的房间。我似乎还想打听些什么消息，或者至少要使自己的猜疑得到证实。 
将近午夜，一辆我非常熟悉的马车在九号门前停了下来。 Count de G got out and went into the house after dismissing his coach. G 伯爵下了车，把车子打发走了以后，就进了屋子。 For a moment, I hoped that he was about to be told, as I had been, that Marguerite was not at home, and that I should see him come out again. But I was still waiting at four in the morning. 那时候，我巴望别人像对我一样地告诉他说玛格丽特不在家，巴望看见他退出来；但是一直等到早晨四点钟，我还在等着。 These last three weeks, I have suffered a great deal. But it has been nothing compared with what I suffered that night. 三个星期以来，我受尽痛苦，但是，和那一晚的痛苦比起来，那简直算不了一回事。 WHEN I reached home, I began to weep like a child. There is not a man alive who has not been deceived at least once but does not know what it is to suffer so. 一回到家里，我像个孩子似的哭了起来。凡是受过哪怕只有一次欺骗的男人就不会不知道我是多么痛苦。 
我一肚子难忍的怒火，暗暗痛下决心：必须立即和这种爱情一刀两断。我迫不及待地等待着天明后去预订车票，回到我父亲和妹妹那儿去，他们两人对我的爱是没有疑问的，也决不会是虚情假意。 However, I did not want to go away without ensuring that Marguerite knew exactly why I was going. Only a man who is quite out of love with his mistress will leave her without writing. 但是我又不愿意在玛格丽特还没有弄清楚我离开她的原因之前就走。作为一个男人，只有在跟他的情人恩断义绝的时候才会不告而别。 I wrote and rewrote a score of letters in my head. 我反复思考着应该怎样来写这封信。 I had been dealing with a woman who was like all other kept women; I had poeticized her far too much. She had treated me like a school-boy and, to deceive me, had resorted to an insultingly simple ruse ?that much was clear. My pride then took over. I had to leave this woman without giving her the satisfaction of knowing how much our parting made me suffer, and this is what I wrote to her, in my most elegant hand and with tears of rage and pain in my eyes. 我的这位姑娘和所有其他的妓女没有什么两样，以前我太抬举她了，她把我当小学生看待。为了欺骗我，她耍了一个简单的手段来侮辱我，这难道还不清楚吗？这时，我的自尊心就占了上风。必须离开这个女人，还不能让她因为知道了这次破裂使我很痛苦而感到高兴。我眼里噙着恼怒和痛苦的泪水，用最端正的字体给她写了下面这封信： 'My dear Marguerite, 亲爱的玛格丽特： 
我希望您昨天的不适对健康没有多大影响。昨天晚上十一点钟，我来打听过您的消息，有人回答说您还没有回来。G先生比我幸运，因为在我之后不久他就到您那儿去了，直到清晨四点钟他还在您那里。 Forgive me the tiresome few hours which I inflicted on you, and rest assured that I shall never forget the happy moments which I owe you. 请原谅我使您度过了一些难受的时刻，不过请放心，我永远也忘不了您赐给我的那段幸福时刻。 I would certainly have called to ask after you today, but I propose to return and join my father. 今天我本应该去打听您的消息，但是我要回到我父亲那里去了。 Farewell, my dear Marguerite. I am neither rich enough to love you as I should wish, nor poor enough to love you as you would like. Let us both forget: you, a name which must mean very little to you, and I, happiness which has become impossible for me to bear. 再见吧，亲爱的玛格丽特，我希望自己能像一个百万富翁似地爱您，但是我力不从心；您希望我能像一个穷光蛋似地爱您，我却又不是那么一无所有。那么让我们大家都忘记了吧，对您来说是忘却一个几乎是无关紧要的名字，对我来说是忘却一个无法实现的美梦。 I am returning your key which I have never used and which you may find will answer some useful purpose, if you are often ill the way you were yesterday.' 我奉还您的钥匙，我还未用过它，它对您会有用的，假如您经常像昨天那样不舒服的话。 
您看到了，如果不狠狠地嘲笑她一下，我是无法结束这封信的，这证明我心里还是多么爱她啊。 I read and reread my letter ten times over, and the thought of the pain it would cause Marguerite calmed me a little. I tried to live up to the bold note it had struck, and when, at eight o'clock, my servant answered my summons, I handed it to him to deliver at once. 我把这封信反复看了十来遍，想到这封信会使玛格丽特感到痛苦，我心里稍许平静了一些。我竭力使自己保持住信里装出来的感情。当我的仆人在八点钟走进我的房间时，我把信交给他，要他马上送去。
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