名著·茶花女 - 第47节

　　“去吧，”她转身向普律当丝颤声说道，“您就把这一幕情景讲给公爵听，再跟他说我们用不着他了。”

From that day on, the Duke was never mentioned again. Marguerite was no longer the girl I had met. She avoided anything which might have reminded me of the life she had been leading when I first made her acquaintance. Never did wife or sister show husband or brother such love, such consideration as she showed me. Her state of health left her open to sensation, and made her vulnerable to her feelings. She had broken with her women friends just as she had broken with her old ways; she controlled her language just as she curbed the old extravagance. Had you observed us leave the house for an outing in a delightful little boat I had bought, you would never have thought that this woman in a white dress, wearing a large straw hat and carrying on her arm a simple fur-lined silk coat which would protect her against the chill of the water, was the same Marguerite Gautier who, four months before, had attracted such attention with her extravagant ways and scandalous conduct.

　　从这一天起，公爵已经不成问题，玛格丽特不再是我过去认识的姑娘了。凡是会使我想起我当时遇到她时她所过的那种生活的一切，她都尽量避免。她给我的爱是任何一个做妻子的都比不上的，她给我的关心是任何一个做姐妹的所没有的。她体弱多病，容易动感情。她断绝了朋友来往，改变了过去的习惯，她的谈吐变了样，也不像过去那样挥金如土了。人们看到我们从屋里出来，坐上我买的那只精巧的小船去泛舟游河，谁也不会想到这个穿着白色长裙，头戴大草帽，臂上搭着一件普通的用来抵御河上寒气的丝绸外衣的女人就是玛格丽特·戈蒂埃。就是她，四个月以前曾因奢侈糜烂而名噪一时。

Alas! we made haste to be happy, as though we had sensed that we should not be happy for long.

　　天哪！我们忙不迭地享乐，仿佛已经料到我们的好日子是长不了的一样。

We had not set foot in Paris for two months. No one had come down to see us, except Prudence and the same Julie Duprat whom I have already mentioned as the person in whose keeping Marguerite would later place the moving story now in my possession.

　　我们甚至有两个月没有到巴黎去了。除了普律当丝和我跟您提到过的那个朱利·迪普拉，也没有人来看过我们。现在在我这儿的那些令人心碎的日记，就是玛格丽特后来交给朱利的。

I spent whole days at my mistress's feet. We would open the windows overlooking the garden and, as we watched the bright summer swoop down and open the flowers and settle under the trees, we would sit side by side and drink in this real, live world which neither Marguerite nor I had understood before.

　　我整天整天地偎依在我情妇的身旁。我们打开了面向花园的窗子，望着鲜花盛开的夏景，我们在树荫下并肩享受着这个不论是玛格丽特还是我，都从来也没有尝到过的真正的生活。

　　这个女人对一些很小的事情都会表现出孩子般的好奇。有些日子她就像一个十岁的女孩子那样，在花园里追着一只蝴蝶或者蜻蜓奔跑。这个妓女，她过去花在鲜花上的钱比足以维持一个家庭快快活活地过日子的钱还要多。有时候她就坐在草坪上，甚至坐上整整一个小时，凝望着她用来当作名字的一朵普通的花。

It was at this time that she read Manon Lescaut so frequently. Many a time, I caught her writing in the margin of the book. And she always said that if a woman is truly in love, then that woman could never do what Manon did.

　　就在那段日子里，她经常阅读《玛侬·莱斯科》。我好几次撞见她在这本书上加注，而且老是跟我说，一个女人在恋爱的时候肯定不会像玛侬那样做的。

The Duke wrote to her two or three times. She recognized his writing and gave me his letters unread.

　　公爵写了两三封信给她，她认出是公爵的笔迹，连看也不看就把信交给了我。

On occasions, the wording of his letters brought tears to my eyes.

　　有几次信里的措辞使我流下了眼泪。

He had thought that, by closing his purse to Marguerite, he could make her go back to him. But when he saw how ineffective his stratagem was, he was unable to carry it through. He had written, again asking her, as he had asked in the past, to allow him back to the fold, whatever conditions she chose to set for his return.

　　公爵原来以为，把玛格丽特的财源掐断以后，就会使她重新回到他的身边。但是当他看到这个办法毫无用处的时候，就坚持不下去了，他一再写信，要求她像上次一样同意他回来，不论什么条件他都可以答应。

　　我看完这些翻来覆去、苦苦哀求的信以后，便把它们全撕了，也不告诉玛格丽特信的内容，也不劝她再去看看那位老人。尽管我对这个可怜的人的痛苦怀着怜悯的感情，但是我怕再劝玛格丽特仍旧像以前那样接待公爵的话，她会以为我是希望公爵重新负担这座房子的开销，不管她的爱情会给我带来什么样的后果，我都会对她的生活负责的，我最怕的就是她以为我也许会逃避这个责任。

The outcome was that the Duke, continuing to receive no answer, eventually stopped writing, and Marguerite and I continued our life together without a thought for the future.

　　最后公爵因收不到回信也就不再来信了。玛格丽特和我照旧在一起生活，根本不考虑以后怎么办。

TO tell you of our new life in any detail would be no easy matter. It was made up of a series of frivolous diversions which, though delightful to us, would be quite meaningless to anyone who heard me recount them. You know what it is to love a woman. You know how short the days seem and how loving the ease with which you let yourself drift towards the morrow. You are acquainted with that general neglect of things which is bred of violent, trusting, requited love. Any mortal being who is not the woman you love seems superfluous to creation. You regret having tossed pieces of your heart to other women, and you cannot imagine the prospect of ever holding a hand which is not the hand that you now hold clasped in yours. Your brain will entertain neither work nor memories, nor anything which might divert it from the one thought with which it is endlessly regaled. Each day you discover some new attraction in your mistress, some unknown sensual delight.

　　要把我们新生活中的琐事详详细细地告诉您是不容易的。这种生活对我们来说是一些孩子般的嬉戏，我们觉得十分有趣，但是对听我讲这个故事的人来说，却是不值一提的。您知道爱一个女人是怎么一回事，您知道白天是怎么匆匆而过，晚上又是怎样地相亲相爱，难舍难分。您不会不知道共同分享和相互信赖的热烈爱情，可以把一切事物搁置脑后；在这个世界上，除了这个自己爱恋着的女人，其他似乎全属多余。我在后悔过去曾经在别的女人身上用过一番心思；我看不到除了自己手里捏着的手以外，还有什么可能去握别人的手。我的头脑里既不思索，也不回忆，心里唯有一个念头，凡是可能影响这个念头的思想都不能接受。每天我都会在自己情妇身上发现一种新的魅力和一种前所未有的快感。

Life is no more than the repeated fulfilling of a permanent desire. The soul is merely the vestal handmaid whose task is to keep the sacred flame of love burning.

　　人生只不过是为了满足不断的欲望，灵魂只不过是维持爱情圣火的守灶女神。

Often, after dark, we would go and sit in the little wood which overlooked the house. There we listened to the happy song of evening as we both thought of the approaching moment which would leave us in each other's arms till morning. At other times, we would stay in bed all day and not let even the sun into our bedroom. The curtains would be tightly drawn, and for us the world outside momentarily stopped turning. Nanine alone was authorized to open our door, but only to bring us our meals ?and even so we ate them without getting up, and interrupted them constantly with laughter and all kinds of foolishness. And then would follow a few moments of sleep, for, retreating completely into our love, we were like two persistent divers who return to the surface only to take breath.

　　到了晚上，我们经常坐在可以俯视我们房子的小树林里，倾听着夜晚和谐悦耳的天籁，同时两人都在想着不久又可相互拥抱直到明天。有时我们整天睡在床上，甚至连阳光都不让透进房来。窗帘紧闭着，外界对于我们来说，暂时停止了活动。只有纳尼娜才有权打开我们的房门，但也只是为了送东西给我们吃；我们就在床上吃，还不停地痴笑和嬉闹。接着又再打一会儿瞌睡。我们就像沉没在爱河之中的两个顽强的潜水员，只是在换气的时候才浮出水面。

　　但是，有时候玛格丽特显得很忧愁，有几次甚至还流着眼泪，这使我感到奇怪。我问她为什么忽然这么悲伤，她回答我说：

'This love of ours, my dearest Armand, is no ordinary love. You love me as though I'd never belonged to anyone else, and I tremble for fear that with time, regretting that you ever loved me and turning my past into a crime to hold against me, you might force me to resume the life from which you took me. Remember this: now that I've tasted a new kind of life, I should die if I had to take up the old one. So tell me you'll never leave me.'

　　“我们的爱情不是普通的爱情，我亲爱的阿尔芒。你就像我从来没有失身于别人似的爱我，但是我非常害怕你不久就会对你的爱情感到后悔，把我的过去当作罪恶。我怕你强迫我去重操你曾让我脱离的旧业。想想现在我尝到的新生活的滋味，要我再去过从前的生活，我会死的。告诉我你永远不再离开我了。”

'I swear it!'

　　“我向你发誓！”

At this, she would stare at me, as though she could read in my eyes whether my oath was sincere. Then she would throw herself into my arms and, burying her head in my chest, say:

　　听到这句话，她仔细地端详着我，似乎要从我眼睛里看出我的誓言是不是真诚，随后她扑在我的怀里，把头埋在我的心窝里，对我说：

'It's just that you have no idea how much I love you!'

　　“你真不知道我是多么爱你啊！”