目 录 上一节 下一节 
这样说来玛格丽特真的像别的姑娘一样啦；她过去对我的真挚爱情还是敌不过她对昔日那种生活的欲望，敌不过对车马和欢宴的需要。 This is what I kept telling myself when I could not sleep, whereas, if I had thought about it as coolly as I made out, I would have seen Marguerite's new, wild behaviour as her hope of silencing persistent thoughts and burying recurring memories. 晚上我睡不着，我就这么想着。如果我真能像我装出来的那么冷静，平心静气地想一想，我可能会在玛格丽特这种新的火热的生活方式里看出她在希望以此来摆脱一个纠缠不休的念头，消除一个难以磨灭的回忆。 But, alas, I was ruled by sour resentments, and thought only of finding a way of tormenting the poor creature. 不幸的是那股邪恶的激情一直纠缠着我，我一门心思想找一个折磨这个可怜的女人的方法。 Oh, how small, how vile is man when one of his petty passions is wounded! 喔！男人在他那狭隘的欲望受到伤害时，变得有多么渺小和卑鄙啊！ Olympe, the girl I had seen with Marguerite, was, if not a close friend, then at least the friend she had seen most of since returning to Paris. She was to throw a ball and, since I assumed Marguerite would be there, I set about getting myself an invitation, and got one. 我见到过的那个跟玛格丽特在一起的奥林普，如果不是玛格丽特的女朋友的话，至少也是她回到巴黎以后来往最密切的人。奥林普正要举行一次舞会，我料到玛格丽特也会去参加，我就设法去弄到了一张请帖。 
当我怀着痛苦的心情来到舞会时，舞会上已相当热闹了。大家跳着舞，甚至还大声叫喊。在一次四组舞里，我看见玛格丽特在跟N伯爵跳舞，N伯爵对自己能炫耀这样一位舞伴显得很神气，他似乎在跟大家说： 'This woman belongs to me!' “这个女人是我的。” I went and leaned against the mantelpiece, just across from Marguerite, and watched her dance. She grew flustered almost the moment she noticed me. I indicated that I had seen her, and acknowledged her perfunctorily with a wave of the hand and a look of recognition. 我背靠在壁炉上，正好面对着玛格丽特，我看着她跳舞。她一看见我就不知所措，我看看她，随随便便地用手和眼睛向她打了个招呼。 When I thought that, after the ball, she would be leaving, not with me, but with that wealthy oaf, when I pictured what would very likely happen after they got back to her apartment, the blood rushed to my face and I felt a need to upset the course of true love. 当我想到在舞会结束以后，陪她走的不再是我而是这个有钱的笨蛋时；当我想到在他们回到她家里以后可能要发生的事情时，血涌上了我的脸，我要破坏他们的爱情。 When the quadrille was over, I went over and said good evening to the hostess who, for the benefit of her guests, was displaying a dazzling pair of shoulders and much of her magnificent breasts. 女主人美丽的肩膀和半裸着的迷人的胸脯展现在全体宾客的面前，在四组舞以后，我走过去向她致意。 
这个姑娘很美，从身材来看比玛格丽特还要美些。当我跟奥林普讲话的时候，从玛格丽特向她投过来的那些眼光更使我明白了这一点。一个男人做了这个女人的情人就可以和N先生感到同样的骄傲，而且她的姿色也足以引起玛格丽特过去在我身上引起过的同样的情欲。 At that time, she had no lover. It would not be difficult to remedy that. The trick was having enough gold to fling about in order go get oneself noticed. 她这时候没有情人。要做她的情人并不难，只要有钱摆阔，引她注意就行了。 My mind was made up. This woman would be my mistress. 我下决心要使这个女人成为我的情妇。 I took the first steps in my initiation by dancing with Olympe. 我一边和奥林普跳舞，一边开始扮演起追求者的角色。 Half an hour later, Marguerite, pale as death, put on her fur-lined cape and left the ball. 半个小时以后，玛格丽特脸色苍白得像死人一样，她穿上皮大衣，离开了舞会。 
这已经够她受的了，但还不行。我知道我有力量控制这个女人，我卑鄙地滥用了这种力量。 When I reflect that she is dead now, I wonder if God will ever forgive me for the hurt I caused her. 如今我想到她已经死了，我自问天主是不是会原谅我给她所受的痛苦。 After supper, which was very rowdy, people began to gamble. 夜宵时热闹非凡，夜宵以后开始赌钱。 I sat next to Olympe, and bet my money so boldly that she could hardly fail to notice. In a trice, I won a hundred and fifty or two hundred louis which I spread out in front of me; she stared at them with eager eyes. 我坐在奥林普身旁，我下注的时候那么大胆，不能不引起她的注意。不一会儿，我就赢了一两百个路易，我把这些钱摊在我面前的变化的时候，运动就是进化的。使生活发生质的变化，她贪婪地注视着。 I was the only person there who was not totally absorbed by the play, and I alone paid her any attention. For the rest of the night, I went on winning, and it was I who gave her money to gamble with, for she had lost everything she had on the table in front of her, and most probably all the money she had in the house. 只有我一个人没有把全部注意力放在赌博上，而是在观察她。整个晚上我一直在赢钱，我拿钱给她赌，因为她已经把她面前的钱全都输光了，也许把她家里的钱也全都输光了。 
清晨五点钟大家告辞了。 I had won three hundred louis. 我赢了三百个路易。 All the gamblers had gone downstairs. Only I had stayed behind. No one noticed, for none of the other gentlemen were friends of mine. 所有的赌客都已经下楼，谁也没有发觉只有我一个人留在后面，因为那些客人里面没有一位是我的朋友。 Olympe herself was lighting them down the staircase, and I was about to go down like everyone else, when, turning back to her, I said: 奥林普亲自在楼梯上照亮，当我正要和大家一样下楼时，我转身向她走去对她说： 'I must speak to you.' “我要跟您谈谈。” 
“明天吧，”她说。 'No. Now.' “不，现在。” 'What is it you want to say?' “您要跟我谈什么呢？” 'You'll see.' “您就会知道的。” And I went back into her apartment. 我又回到了房间里。 
“您输了，”我对她说。 'Yes.' “是的。” 'Everything you had here?' “您把家里的钱全都输光了吧。” She hesitated. 她迟疑着没有回答。 'Speak frankly.' “说实话吧。” 
“好吧，真是这样。” 'I won three hundred louis. They're yours, if you let me stay.' “我赢了三百路易，全在这里，如果您愿意我留下来的话。” And, as I spoke, I tossed the gold on to the table. 同时我把金币扔在桌子上。 'Why the offer?' “您为什么提出这种要求？” 'Because I love you, dammit!' “老天！因为我爱您呀。”
| 
