名著·雾都孤儿 - 第88节


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  他一进门,露丝的脸色就变得一片苍白,不过这也可能是她新近患病的反应。她只是点了点头,便朝旁边的几盆花俯下身去,默默地等着他往下说。

   'I--I--ought to have left here, before,' said Harry.

  “我--我--早就该离开这儿了。”哈利说道。

   'You should, indeed,' replied Rose. 'Forgive me for saying so, but I wish you had.'

  “你应该,真的,”露丝回答,“原谅我这么说,但我希望你离开。”

   'I was brought here, by the most dreadful and agonising of all apprehensions,' said the young man; 'the fear of losing the one dear being on whom my every wish and hope are fixed. You had been dying; trembling between earth and heaven. We know that when the young, the beautiful, and good, are visited with sickness, their pure spirits insensibly turn towards their bright home of lasting rest; we know, Heaven help us! that the best and fairest of our kind, too often fade in blooming.'

  “我是被最可怕、最令人烦恼的忧虑带到这儿来的,”年轻人说,“担心失去自己唯一的心上人,我的每一个愿望、每一种期待都寄托在她身上。你差一点死去,一直是在尘世和天国之间摇摆。我们都知道,每当美好、善良的年轻人受到疾病的困扰,纯洁的灵魂不知不觉便转向了他们那个光明的、永生的归宿。我们知道--老天保佑--在我们的同类当中,最善良、最可爱的人往往英年早逝。”

   There were tears in the eyes of the gentle girl, as these words were spoken; and when one fell upon the flower over which she bent, and glistened brightly in its cup, making it more beautiful, it seemed as though the outpouring of her fresh young heart, claimed kindred naturally, with the loveliest things in nature.

  在这些话语倾吐出来的时候,娴静的姑娘眼里噙着泪水,一颗泪珠滴落在她低头面对的花朵上,在花冠里闪出晶莹的光华,把花儿衬托得更加妩媚动人,仿佛从她那美好、年轻的心田里涌出的泪花理所当然要与天地间最娇艳的花朵一比高低似的。

  “一个人,”小伙子冲动地说,“一个与上帝身边的天使一样美丽、一样天真无邪的姑娘,在生与死之间摇摆不定。噢!她所亲近的遥远世界已经在她眼前揭开了一半,谁能指望她会回到这个世界的悲哀和不幸中来啊!露丝,露丝,知道你正在像上界的光辉投射到几间的柔和阴影一样离去,再也没有希望祈求上苍为了那些在此徘徊流连的人而把你留下,又一点儿都不知道有什么理由值得你留下,感觉到你已经属于那一片光明的乐土,许许多多最美丽、最善良的人早就飞到那里去了,尽管聊以慰藉的办法很多很多,却还要祈求把你还给那些爱你的人--这些颠来倒去的想法简直叫人承受不住。我白天黑夜都处在这样的心请。恐惧、忧虑和自私的懊悔像奔腾的激流一样朝我涌来,生怕你一旦死去,就永远也不会知道我对你的爱是多么忠贞,这股激流几乎把我的知觉和理智一起冲走了。你恢复过来了,一天一天,几乎是一小时接一小时,健康如同水珠,点点滴滴汇人在你身体里缓慢流淌的生命溪流,它本来已经消耗殆尽,失去活力,现在重又变成汹涌奔腾的大潮,我曾用由于渴望和深情而变得近乎盲目的眼睛,注视着你死里逃生。难道你会对我说,你希望我抛开这份深情?要知道,正是这份深情使我的心变软了,改变了我对全人类的态度。”

   'I did not mean that,' said Rose, weeping; 'I only wish you had left here, that you might have turned to high and noble pursuits again; to pursuits well worthy of you.'

  “我没有这个意思,”露丝流着泪水说,“我只是希望你离开这儿,你就可以重新转向崇高的事业,转向值得你追求的事业。”

   'There is no pursuit more worthy of me: more worthy of the highest nature that exists: than the struggle to win such a heart as yours,' said the young man, taking her hand. 'Rose, my own dear Rose! For years--for years--I have loved you; hoping to win my way to fame, and then come proudly home and tell you it had been pursued only for you to share; thinking, in my daydreams, how I would remind you, in that happy moment, of the many silent tokens I had given of a boy's attachment, and claim your hand, as in redemption of some old mute contract that had been sealed between us! That time has not arrived; but here, with not fame won, and no young vision realised, I offer you the heart so long your own, and stake my all upon the words with which you greet the offer.'

  “没有什么事,哪怕是最崇高的追求,能比得上赢得像你这样的一颗心,”年轻人握住她的手,说道,“露丝,我亲爱的露丝。多少年了--多少年来--我一直爱着你,向往着功成名就以后荣归故里,再告诉你,一切都仅仅是为了与你分享才去追求的--我做了一个又一个白日梦,幻想着在那个欢乐的时刻,我怎样才能使你回想起,我曾经用了那么多不会说话的象征来表达一个孩子的眷恋,我要向你求婚,以此取代我们之间以往的默契。那个时刻还没有到来,可现在,功名尚未成就,青年时代的幻想也尚未实现,我还是要向你呈献这一颗早就属于你的心,将自己的一切都寄托在你用来回答我的请求的一句话上。”

   'Your behaviour has ever been kind and noble.' said Rose, mastering the emotions by which she was agitated. 'As you believe that I am not insensible or ungrateful, so hear my answer.'

  “你的品行一直很善良,高尚,”露丝竭力控制着激动不已的感情,说道,“既然你相信我并非麻木不仁或者忘恩负义的人,那就请听我的回答。”

   'It is, that I may endeavour to deserve you; it is, dear Rose?'

  “你的回答是,我可以努力争取配得上你,是吗,亲爱的露丝?”

  “我的回答是,”露丝答道,“你必须尽力忘掉我,我不是要你忘掉我是你以前心心相印的同伴,因为那会深深地刺伤我的心,而是要忘掉我是你爱上的人。好好看一看这个世界吧,想一想那里有多少颗心,你都会因为赢得那样的心而感到骄傲的。当你产生了另一份爱情的时候,如果你愿意,可以向我吐露一二,我会做你最诚挚、最热心、最忠实的朋友。”

   There was a pause, during which, Rose, who had covered her face with one hand, gave free vent to her tears. Harry still retained the other.

  露丝说到这里顿了一下,用一只手捂住面孔,听任泪水夺眶而出,哈利依旧握着她的另一只手。

   'And your reasons, Rose,' he said, at length, in a low voice; 'your reasons for this decision?'

  “你的理由呢,露丝,”他好容易才低声说出话来,“你作出这个决定的理由呢?”

   'You have a right to know them,' rejoined Rose. 'You can say nothing to alter my resolution. It is a duty that I must perform. I owe it, alike to others, and to myself.'

  “你有权知道理由,”露丝答道,“你不管怎么说也改变不了我的决心。这是我必须履行的一种义务。为我自己,也为了别人,我必须这样做。”

   'To yourself?'

  “为你自己?”

  “是的,哈利。我只能这样,我,一个无依无靠又没有嫁妆的姑娘,只有一个不明不白的名声,我不应该让你的朋友有理由怀疑我是出于卑鄙的动机,才接受你的初恋,把自己变成一种累赘,强加在你所有的希望、计划之上。为了你,为了你的亲人,我有义务阻止你凭着慷慨天性中的那份热情办事,为你的前途设置这样一个巨大的障碍。”

   'If your inclinations chime with your sense of duty--' Harry began.

  “如果你的心意和你的责任感是一致的话--”哈利又开始了。

   'They do not,' replied Rose, colouring deeply.

  “并不一致。”露丝的脸涨得通红。

   'Then you return my love?' said Harry. 'Say but that, dear Rose; say but that; and soften the bitterness of this hard disappointment!'

  “那你也是爱我的?”哈利说,“我只要你说这句话,亲爱的露丝,只要你说这句话,解一解这个失望的苦果。”

   'If I could have done so, without doing heavy wrong to him I loved,' rejoined Rose, 'I could have--'

  “要是我能够做到,又不至于使我所爱的人深受其害的话,”露丝回答道,“我本来--”

  “就会以完全不同的态度接受我的心里话?”哈利说道,“至少,露丝,别对我隐瞒这一点。”

   'I could,' said Rose. 'Stay!' she added, disengaging her hand, 'why should we prolong this painful interview? Most painful to me, and yet productive of lasting happiness, notwithstanding; for it WILL be happiness to know that I once held the high place in your regard which I now occupy, and every triumph you achieve in life will animate me with new fortitude and firmness. Farewell, Harry! As we have met to-day, we meet no more; but in other relations than those in which this conversation have placed us, we may be long and happily entwined; and may every blessing that the prayers of a true and earnest heart can call down from the source of all truth and sincerity, cheer and prosper you!'

  “我会的,”露丝说,“等等。”她把那只手抽出来,“我们干吗要让这一次痛苦的谈话继续下去呢?这次谈话对于我是极为痛苦的,但同时也会产生永久的幸福。知道我曾经在你的心目中占据了我现在这样的崇高位置,你在生活中取得的每一个胜利都将赋予我新的毅力,使我变得更加坚定,这就是幸福。再见了,哈利。我们以后见面再也不会像今天这样了。但我们可以保持另外一种关系,不是像今天的谈话会使我们结成的那种关系,我们彼此都会感到非常幸福。有一颗真挚热切的心在为你祈祷,愿一切真心、坦诚的源泉降下每一声祝福,为你带来欢乐和成功。”

   'Another word, Rose,' said Harry. 'Your reason in your own words. From your own lips, let me hear it!'

  “让我再说一句,露丝,”哈利说道,“用你自己的话讲讲理由,让我听一听从你口中说出来的理由。”

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名著·雾都孤儿 - 第88节