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美国男子汉一般不会哭 American men don't cry because it is considered not characteristic of men to do so. Only women cry. Cry is a "weakness" characteristic of the femele, and no American male wants to be identified with anything in the least weak or feminine. Crying, in our culture, is identified with childishness, with weakness and dependence. No one likes a cryboby, and we disapprove of crying even in children, discouraging it in them as early as possible. In a land so devoted to the pursuit of happiness as ours, crying really is rather un-American. Adults must learn not to cry in situations in which it is permissible for child to cry. Women being the "weaker" and "dependent" sex, it is only natural that they should cry in certain emotional situations. In women, crying is excusable. But in men, crying is a mark of weakness. So goes the American belief with regard to crying. 美国的男子汉一般都不会哭。因为男子汉要哭了，那就被认为这个人不具备男子汉的特征。只有妇女才哭。哭是女性软弱的表现。不论做什么事，没有任何一个美国男人想要让人家认为有丝毫懦弱或者像个老娘们似的。在我们的思想文化观念当中，哭哭涕涕总是跟孩子气、懦弱、不能自立联系在一起的。没有任何人会喜欢一个哭闹的孩子，所以即使对儿童们来说，我们也不赞成他们哭，尽可能从很小的时候起，越早越好，鼓励孩子们不要哭。在像我们这样一个热衷于追求幸福快乐的国家里，哭哭涕涕实在不太合乎美国人的风度了。成年人都必须知道，凡在允许小孩子哭的情况下，成年人都不应该哭。因为女性是一种"软弱的"、"依赖男人的"性别，女性在特定的环境下引起感情波动，若是哭一通也是很自然的。对妇女们来说，哭是可以原谅的。可是对男人来说，哭就会给人留下软弱无能的印象。于是美国人对于哭泣的看法就这样产生了。 "A little man," we impress on our male children, "never cries. Only girls and crybobies do." And so we condition males in America not to cry whenever they feel like doing so. It is not that American males are unable to cry because of some biological time clock within them which causes them to run down in that capacity as they grow older, but that they are trained not to cry. And so the "little man" controls his desire to cry and goes on doing so until he is unable to cry even when he wants to. Thus do we produce a trained incapacity in the American male to cry. And this is bad. Why is it bad? Because crying is a natural function of the human organism which is designed to restore the emotionally disequilibrated person to a state of equilibrium. The return of the disequilibrated organ systems of the body to steady states or-dynamic stability is known as homeostasis. Crying serves a homeostatic function for the organism as a whole. Any interference with homeostasis is likely to be damaging to the organism. And there is good reason to believe that the American male's trained incapacity to cry is seriously damaging to him. 我们让我们的男性儿童铭记在心："一个小男子汉永也不会哭的，只有女孩子和刚刚生下来的小娃娃才会哭。"所以每当美国的男性想要哭的时候，我们就训练他们憋住别哭。这并不是因为他们随着年龄的增长，体内某个生物钟上的哭的能力已经消耗殆尽，而是因为他们被训练的不许哭。于是这"小男子汉"想哭的时候，也老是憋着不哭，憋着憋着一直憋到甚至当他想哭的时候也不会哭了。这样，我们就致使美国男性被训练成不会哭的人了。这很不好。为什么不好呢？因为哭是人的有机体中的一种很自然的功能，有一这一功能就是为了让那些感情上失去了平衡人，能恢复到感情上平衡的状态。把人体失去了平衡的器官体系恢复到稳定状态或恢复到正常运作状态下的稳定状态，被称为原状稳定或体内平衡。对体内平衡的任何干扰都有可能损害人体的有机体。所以，我们有充分的理由相信，把美国男性训练得不会哭，这会对美国男性造成严重的损害。 It is unnecessary to cry whenever one wants to cry, but one should be able to cry when one ought to cry - when one needs to cry. For to cry under certain emotionally disequilibrating conditions is necessary for the maintenance of health. 一个人不论任何时候想哭就哭--这实在是没有必要；但是当一个人应该哭的时候--也就是一个人需要哭的时候，应该能够哭出来。因为哭上一通在某咱内心感情失衡的情况下，对保持身体健康是必要的。 To be human is to weep. The human species is the only one in the whole of animated nature that sheds tears. The trained inability of any human being to weep is lessening of his capacity to be human - a defect which usually goes deeper than the mere inability to cry. And this, among other things, is what American parents - with the best intentions in the world - have achieved for the American male. It is very sad. If we feel like it, let us all have a good cry - and clear our minds of those cobwebs of confusion which have for so long prevented us from understanding the natural necessity of crying. 只要是人就会落泪，把整个动物世界里，人类这个物种是唯一的会流泪的物种。把一个人训练成不会落泪的人，这就在降低了他作为一个人所应有的能力。不具备作为一个人所应有的能力，这一缺陷比仅仅是不会哭泣在意义上要深远得多。而这一点，尤其是这一点，正是那些心怀着人间最美好的用心的美国父母们一心给美国男性养成的。简直是太可悲了。如果我们想哭的话，那就让我们好好地哭上一通吧，把那些很长时候以来使我们不能理解哭这种天性的需要、像蜘蛛网一样束缚人思想的种种糊涂想法，从我们的脑海中清除的干干净净吧。 
马上停止不必要的担心！ Worry is one of the most common forms of emotional distress in our culture. Almost everyone spends a considerable amount of present moments worrying about the future. And virtually all of it is for nothing. Obsessive worry will never make things any better. In fact, such worry will very likely help you to be less effective in dealing with the present. 在我们的日常生活中，担心是情绪上苦恼的最为普遍的形式之一。几乎每个人都会花费相当数量的大好时光用在为未来而担心。可是这一切的担心都是毫无用处的。过分的担心永也不会使情况变得有丝毫改善。事实上，这种担心会使你处理现在的事务的工作效率变得更低。 In order to reduce worry, it is necessary to understand the subconscious psychological "payoffs" for choosing to worry in the first place. "I can't do a thing. I'm too worried about --" This is a common lament, and one with a payoff that keeps you standing still and avoiding the risk of action. Clearly, it is easier, if less rewarding, to worry than to be an active, involved person. 为了减轻心头上的负担不再担心，首先，要从心理学上弄明白，事事都担心起来，会产生什么意想不到的后果。"我做什么事都没心思干，我总非常担心……常听到有人这样哀叹，而这种哀叹的后果就是你呆呆地站在那里，根本不支采取任何冒险性的行动。很明显，和一个积极采取行动全身心地投入实际比较起来，只是担心是比较容易做到的，只不过于事无补罢了。" By worrying about someone else, you can label yourself as a caring person. Worry proves that you are a good parent or spouse ("I can't help worrying - it's because I love you."). A handsome dividend, although lacking in logical, healthy thinking. 替别人担心，你可以标傍自己是个关心他人的人。你担心了，这就可以证明你是位好家长或者好配偶。这话让人听了可真好哇，尽管这类想法缺乏逻辑性，也站不住脚。 If you weigh too much, you may eat more when you worry; hence, you have a good reason for hanging on to the worry behavior. Similarly, you may find yourself smoking more in trouublesome situations, and can use the worry to avoid giving up smoking. The same neurotic reward system also applies to health. It may be easier for you to worry about chest pains than to risk finding out the truth, and then having to deal directly with yourself. 如果你身体肥胖超重了，那么你心情不好的时候，你可能吃得更多；因为，你有充足的理由多吃，因为你老是心情不好嘛！同样道理，在你心情不好的情况下，你很可能不知不觉地发现你的烟抽得更多了，你右以用心情不好作籍口，不去戒烟。这种从心理上找个籍口的办法也适用于人的健康状况。如果你胸痛，你只是担心有病，这要比冒险去检查出真实情况到底有病没病，然后直接去医院处置胸痛，要容易得多。 
忧心忡忡可导致很多疾病，例如，情绪紧张性头痛或脊背痛。尽管人们可能觉得这些病症并不是"担心"所造成的后果，但是有了这些病确实能引起他人的关注，也能为自我怜悯找到籍口的理由。而有些人宁肯被人怜悯也不愿振作起来去充分发挥自己的才能。 Now that you understand the psychological support system for neurotic worry, you can begin to devise some measures for reducing the number of troublesome worry bugs that breed in this erroneous zone. 现在既然你从心理学理论体系上已经明白了，"担心"具有神经过敏的性质，那么你就可以开始采取一些措施去减少在"担心"这个误区中孳生的令人烦恼的"担心虫"的数量了。 Begin to view your present moments as times to live, rather than times to worry about the future. When you catch yourself worrying, ask yourself, "What am I avoiding now by using up this moment with worry?" Then begin to attack whatever it is you're avoiding. 马上开始吧！把你现在的时刻看成是应该好好地生活的时间，而不要看成是用来为了未来而忧心忡忡担心不已的时间。每当你突然发现你又在忧心忡忡起来，你妨扪心自问："我把这一时光耗费在不必要的担心上面，这不是与事无补吗？"那么就开始动手去解决你所回避的问题吧。 A friend of mine spent a week on an island off the Connecticut coast. She enjoys taking long walks, but soon discovered that there were a number of dogs on the island which were allowed to run free. She decided to fight her worry that they might attack her. She carried a rock in her hand and resolved to show no fear as the dogs came running toward her. Seeing someone who refused to back down, they turned and ran away. While I am not encouraging dangerous behavior, I do believe that a sensibly effective challenge to worry is the most productive way to minimize its role in your life. 我的一位朋友，离开了康涅狄格海岸去一个岛上度过了一周。她喜欢长距离时间在外面散步，不过不久她就发现那岛上有为数很多的狗，人们让这些狗自由地到处乱跑。她决心战胜担心那些狗有可能袭击她的这种恐惧心理。她手里攥着一块石头，决心表示出，如果这群狗朝着她跑来她根本不害怕。这群狗因为见到了这位要不不后退不让步的人，就掉转头跑掉了。尽管我并不鼓励冒险的行为，但我确信，采用切合实际的有效的方法来向"担心的心态"挑战，这是在你的生活当中，减少"担心的心态"所起到的作用的最富有成果最有效的办法。 Ask yourself over and over, "Will the future change as a result of my worrying about it?" Try to remember how many of the things you once worried about never become real at all. Also ask yourself: "What's the worst thing that could happen to me (or them), and what is the likelihood of it occurring?" You'll discover the absurdity of most worries in this way. 请你反复地扪心自问："由于我的担心，结果会使未来有所改变吗？"切记： 你过去曾经一度为之担心的好多情况，根本没有真的发生过。再问问你自己："我能发生什么最坏的事情？这种最坏的事情发生的可能性大小如何？"这样，你就会发现绝大多数不必要的担心都是荒唐可笑的。 
行动起来吧！直接去抵制，不再去担心你通常所担心的问题。如果你强迫自己为未来去存钱，那就把一部分钱拿出来你自己今天的享用吧！享受生活吧！不要浪费现有的一切去顽固地为未来着想吧。 These are some techniques for minimizing worry in your life. But the most effective weapon you have is your own determination to drive this neurotic behavior away from your life. 这一切就是你生活中的担心降低到最小程度的办法。但是你所拥有的最有效的武器就是你的决心。决心把这种神经过敏的担心从你的生活中赶出去。
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