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我恨这一切。她呢，她也恨我，我的上帝，那孩子出世以前她多么恨我！我常想这孩子是她在恨中得的胎。虽然，孩子生后，我便不理她了，以后大战来了。我入了伍，我直至探明她和史行业门的一个家伙拼上了才回来的。" He broke off, pale in the face. 他停住了。脸孔是苍白的。 'And what is the man at Stacks Gate like?' asked Connie. " 史德门的那个人是怎样的一上人？"康妮问道。 'A big baby sort of fellow, very low-mouthed. She bullies him, and they both drink.' " 一个有点孩子样的大汉字，满口秽言的。她凌眶他，并且他们俩口儿都喝酒。" 'My word, if she came back!' " 唉！假如她回来的话！" 
呵，我的上帝！那我便得走，我介得重新隐没！" There was a silence. The pasteboard in the fire had turned to grey ash. 两人静默了一会，火上的像片已经烧成灰烬了。 'So when you did get a woman who wanted you,' said Connie, 'you got a bit too much of a good thing.' " 这样看来。"康妮说："你真得到了需要你的妇人后，不久你便觉得腻了。" 'Ay! Seems so! Yet even then I'd rather have her than the never-never ones: the white love of my youth, and that other poison-smelling lily, and the rest.' " 是的，大概是的！虽然是这样，我却宁愿白黛面不愿那些'水不永不'的女子；那种我年青时候的'纯洁'的爱人，那种有毒气的百合花，和基耸。" 'What about the rest?' " 其他？" 
其他？没有什么其他的，不过，经验告诉我，大部分的妇人都是这样；她们需要一个男子，但是不要性爱。她们忍受着，仿佛那是恶命中不得不忍受的事。再旧式一点的，她们便象木头似的，躺在那儿任你冲撞事后她们也不关心。她们喜欢你，但那件事的本身，对她们是没有什么的。只是有点无味罢了。大多数的男子倒喜欢这样，我却讨厌，但是有一种奸诈的妇人，她们虽然也是一样，却假装不一样，她们表面上似乎狂热，似乎消魂不禁，但实际上只是一套把戏，只是装模作样罢了……其次是那些什么都爱的，什么样的感觉。什么样的抚爱，什么样的滋味，无所不爱，就是不爱自然的那一种。她们常常使你在唯一享受的地方以处的地方去享受。……还有是一种坚硬的女子。想使她们享受真是上天般难，她们是要自力享受的，正如我的女人一样，她们要站在主动者的地位。……还有是里面简直了的，全死了的，她们自己也知道，科学还有是那种没有到期就使你草率了事，然后她们继续着靠紧你的大腿，簸动着她们的腰，直至她们自己完毕为止的。她们大多数都是搞同性恋式的，世上多少妇人，有意识的，或无意识地，都是属于搞同性恋式的，真令人惊异，我觉得她们差不多全部是这一类。" 'And do you mind?' asked Connie. " 你觉得厌恶么？"康妮问道。 'I could kill them. When I'm with a woman who's really Lesbian, I fairly howl in my soul, wanting to kill her.' " 我觉得她们都该杀！当我碰到一个真正的搞同性恋式的妇人时，我心里咆哮着，想把她杀死。" 'And what do you do?' " 你怎么对付呢？" 'Just go away as fast as I can.' " 走开，愈快愈好。" 
但是你以为搞同性恋式的妇人，比有同性爱癖的男子更要不得么？" 'I do! Because I've suffered more from them. In the abstract, I've no idea. When I get with a Lesbian woman, whether she knows she's one or not, I see red. No, no! But I wanted to have nothing to do with any woman any more. I wanted to keep to myself: keep my privacy and my decency.'" 是的，我以为更要不得。因为她们给我的苦头更大。在理论上，我倒不说，当我遇到一个搞同性恋式的妇人时，不论她自己知道不知道，我便要发狂，不，不，我再也不想和任何妇人有什么来往了，我要自己孤守着，我要守着我的孤独和我的高洁。" He looked pale, and his brows were sombre. 他脸色苍白地理着眉头。 'And were you sorry when I came along?' she asked. " 你遇着我了，你觉得懊悔么？"她问道。 'I was sorry and I was glad.' " 我懊悔而又高兴。" 
现在呢？" 'I'm sorry, from the outside: all the complications and the ugliness and recrimination that's bound to come, sooner or later. That's when my blood sinks, and I'm low. But when my blood comes up, I'm glad. I'm even triumphant. I was really getting bitter. I thought there was no real sex left: never a woman who'd really "come" naturally with a man: except black women, and somehow, well, we're white men: and they're a bit like mud.' " 现在，我忧惧外边的不可避免的种种纠纷，种种诽谤，种种丑恶，这种种迟早是要来到的，当我气馁的时候，我是沮丧的，但是当我气盛的时候，我又觉得快乐了。甚至觉得胜利了。我没有遇到你以前，正是我日见苦恼的时候，我想人世间再也没有真天上的性爱了。再也没有真正地、自然地和一个男子在肉感上共鸣的妇人了。有的只是黑种女子……不过我们是白人，黑人却有点象一团泥。" 'And now, are you glad of me?' she asked. " 现在呢，你高兴我么？"她问道。 'Yes! When I can forget the rest. When I can't forget the rest, I want to get under the table and die.' " 是的！当我能忘掉其作瓣时候，当我不能忘掉其作田时候，我便想躲在桌子下面去死。" 'Why under the table?' " 为什么在桌子下面呢？" 
为什么？"他笑了起来，"去捉迷藏呢，孩子！" 'You do seem to have had awful experiences of women,' she said. " 你对于女子的经验，似乎真的太坏了。"她说。 'You see, I couldn't fool myself. That's where most men manage. They take an attitude, and accept a lie. I could never fool myself. I knew what I wanted with a woman, and I could never say I'd got it when I hadn't.' " 那是因为我不能自欺的缘故，在这一点上，多数的男子却能做到。他们采择一种态度，接受欺骗。我呢，我决不能自欺，我知道我所求于一个女子的是什么，如果没有得到，我决不能说我得到了。" 'But have you got it now?' " 但是你现在得到了么？" 'Looks as if I might have.' " 象是得到了。" 
那么你为什么这样苍白而抑郁？" 'Bellyful of remembering: and perhaps afraid of myself.' " 往事太多了，或者也因为我怕自己。" She sat in silence. It was growing late. 她静默的坐着，夜渐渐深了。 'And do you think it's important, a man and a woman?' she asked him. " 你觉得男女之事是重要的么？"她问道。 'For me it is. For me it's the core of my life: if I have a right relation with a woman.' " 在我。那是重要的，在我，如果我能够和一个女子发生适当的关系，那是我生命中最重要的事。" 
假如你不能呢？ 'Then I'd have to do without.' " 那么我便只好没有。"
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