目 录 上一节 下一节 
噢，老爷，其实还有一个比我更爱您的人呢！那就是耶稣，他爱着您哪！"汤姆说道。 "How do you know that Tom?" said St. Clare." 你怎么知道的，汤姆？" "Feels it in my soul. O, Mas'r! `the love of Christ, that passeth knowledge.'"" 我能感觉到，噢，老爷，基督的爱可不是普通的人能揣摩得到的。" "Singular!" said St. Clare, turning away, "that the story of a man that lived and died eighteen hundred years ago can affect people so yet. But he was no man," he added, suddenly. "No man ever had such long and living power! O, that I could believe what my mother taught me, and pray as I did when I was a boy!"" 真是奇怪，"圣克莱尔转过身子说道，"这个一千八百年前诞生、早已逝去的人的故事竟然仍能打动人心。或许，他根本不是人，人没有那么强的生命力！唉，我真希望能遵从母亲的教导，像小时候一样，跟着母亲做祈祷！" "If Mas'r pleases," said Tom, "Miss Eva used to read this so beautifully. I wish Mas'r'd be so good as read it. Don't get no readin', hardly, now Miss Eva's gone."" 老爷，要是您乐意，"汤姆说道，"希望您能给我念一章《圣经》，伊娃小姐从前念这段时，真是动听极了。唉，伊娃小姐走后，就再也没有人给我念了。" 
这段是《约翰福音》的第十一章--耶路撒冷起死回生的感人故事。圣克莱尔大声念着，不时停下来把心中由故事而激起的激动之情压抑下去。汤姆跪在他面前，双手合十，平静的脸上流露出深沉的爱、信任与崇敬的表情。 "Tom," said his Master, "this is all _real_ to you!"" 汤姆，"圣克莱尔说，"这些对你来说都是真的吗？" "I can jest fairly _see_ it Mas'r," said Tom." 对，就像我亲眼所见一样，老爷。"汤姆说。 "I wish I had your eyes, Tom."" 如果我也拥有和你一样的眼睛就好了。" "I wish, to the dear Lord, Mas'r had!"" 我向亲爱的主祈祷，您一定会有的。" 
可是，汤姆，我的知识比你多，如果我告诉你，我不相信《圣经》，你说怎么办？" "O, Mas'r!" said Tom, holding up his hands, with a deprecating gesture." 噢，老爷。"汤姆举起双手，做了个不赞成的手势。 "Wouldn't it shake your faith some, Tom?"" 难道什么也动摇不了你的信念吗？"圣克莱尔问。 "Not a grain," said Tom." 对，什么也没法动摇。"汤姆说。 "Why, Tom, you must know I know the most."" 汤姆，要知道我可懂的比你多得多呢！" 
老爷，您不是说过吗，上帝总是向聪慧明智的人有所隐瞒，只向无知的婴孩显示。老爷，您刚才说不相信上帝，这不是真的吧？"汤姆着急地说。 "No, Tom, I was not. I don't disbelieve, and I think there is reason to believe; and still I don't. It's a troublesome bad habit I've got, Tom."" 当然不是真的，汤姆。我不是不相信上帝，相反，我认为确有理由信仰上帝。可是，我就是没法让我自己信仰上帝，这真是讨厌极了。汤姆，我该怎么办？" "If Mas'r would only pray!"" 老爷，您要是做祷告就好了！" "How do you know I don't, Tom?"" 你怎么知道我没做祈祷呢？" "Does Mas'r?"" 您做了吗？" 
如果我做祷告时，天上有人能够听见，那我就会去做，可是并没有谁能感觉到啊！汤姆，你过来，让我看看你是怎么做祷告的。" Tom's heart was full; he poured it out In prayer, like waters that have been long suppressed. One thing was plain enough; Tom thought there was somebody to hear, whether there were or not. In fact, St. Clare felt himself borne, on the tide of his faith and feeling, almost to the gates of that heaven he seemed so vividly to conceive. It seemed to bring him nearer to Eva. 汤姆心中正充满了各种愿望，他把这些愿望在祷告中一古脑儿都倾吐出来，好像长期堵住的河水一下子奔流开来。无论怎样，有一点是十分清楚的，那就是汤姆不管有没有人聆听，他都当作有。圣克莱尔觉得自己的思想和感情都不由自主地随着汤姆的信仰和感情游走，飘飘荡荡一直把汤姆送到天堂的门口。圣克莱尔觉得自己离伊娃很近。 "Thank you, my boy," said St. Clare, when Tom rose. "I like to hear you, Tom; but go, now, and leave me alone; some other time, I'll talk more."" 谢谢你，汤姆！"汤姆站起身来时，圣克莱尔说，"我喜欢听你的祷告，汤姆。你现在可以出去了，我想一个人呆会儿。咱们下次再谈吧！" Tom silently left the room. 汤姆一声不吭地离开了书房。 CHAPTER XXVIII 第二十八章 
团聚 Week after week glided away in the St. Clare mansion, and the waves of life settled back to their usual flow, where that little bark had gone down. For how imperiously, how coolly, in disregard of all one's feeling, does the hard, cold, uninteresting course of daily realities move on! Still must we eat, and drink, and sleep, and wake again,--still bargain, buy, sell, ask and answer questions,--pursue, in short, a thousand shadows, though all interest in them be over; the cold mechanical habit of living remaining, after all vital interest in it has fled. 在圣克莱尔的这栋房子里，光阴仍一寸一寸地流逝。小舟虽已沉没，但波澜之后一切仍复归平静。日常生活的轨迹是辛苦、冷酷和乏味不堪的，但是它毫不顾及人的情感，仍然专横无情、冷漠严峻地向前不断延伸。人们仍得吃喝拉撒，仍得讨价还价，买进卖出，仍得问长问短，答对不休。说得更简单直白一点吧，尽管我们的生活乐趣早已荡然无存，但依然得如行尸走肉般生活下去，尽管主要的爱好已消失无影，但空洞机械的生活习惯仍在延续！ All the interests and hopes of St. Clare's life had unconsciously wound themselves around this child. It was for Eva that he had managed his property; it was for Eva that he had planned the disposal of his time; and, to do this and that for Eva,--to buy, improve, alter, and arrange, or dispose something for her,--had been so long his habit, that now she was gone, there seemed nothing to be thought of, and nothing to be done. 以前，圣克莱尔的全部生存的乐趣和希望都不自觉地寄托在伊娃身上。他所经营的产业，他安排时间都是围着伊娃展开的，他为她购买东西，为她改变安排和布置……一切的一切，都是为了伊娃。长久以来，他似乎已经习以为常了。可是，现在伊娃已逝，他好像整个落空了，无论想什么、做什么都已经没有意义了。 True, there was another life,--a life which, once believed in, stands as a solemn, significant figure before the otherwise unmeaning ciphers of time, changing them to orders of mysterious, untold value. St. Clare knew this well; and often, in many a weary hour, he heard that slender, childish voice calling him to the skies, and saw that little hand pointing to him the way of life; but a heavy lethargy of sorrow lay on him,--he could not arise. He had one of those natures which could better and more clearly conceive of religious things from its own perceptions and instincts, than many a matter-of-fact and practical Christian. The gift to appreciate and the sense to feel the finer shades and relations of moral things, often seems an attribute of those whose whole life shows a careless disregard of them. Hence Moore, Byron, Goethe, often speak words more wisely descriptive of the true religious sentiment, than another man, whose whole life is governed by it. In such minds, disregard of religion is a more fearful treason,--a more deadly sin. 事实上，还存在着另外一种生存方式--人们只要对它持有信心，它就会在那些了无意义的时间密码前变成一个严肃重要的数字，从而把其后的密码都破解成难以言传的神奇的秩序。圣克莱尔非常清楚这一点：当他万念俱灰时，就仿佛会听见一个细微而纯真的声音在召唤他到天上去，并看见纤细的手指向生命的道路。但是，圣克莱尔已被深重的伤感的倦怠压得喘不过气来，他真的是一蹶不振了。圣克莱尔有一种天性，那就是凭着他的才能和见识，他对宗教事务的了解往往比那些讲求实效的基督徒们还要深刻透彻。有些人确实是如此，他们对灵性问题并不甚关心，但对其中的细致的差别和奥妙却有天生的敏锐的感受力和领悟力。故而摩尔、拜伦、歌德描述真挚的宗教情感的话语，会比一个终生怀有宗教情感的教徒更为精辟。在这些人心目中，漠视宗教是一种更可怕的背叛，是更重的罪孽。 St. Clare had never pretended to govern himself by any religious obligation; and a certain fineness of nature gave him such an instinctive view of the extent of the requirements of Christianity, that he shrank, by anticipation, from what he felt would be the exactions of his own conscience, if he once did resolve to assume them. For, so inconsistent is human nature, especially in the ideal, that not to undertake a thing at all seems better than to undertake and come short. 虽说圣克莱尔从未受过任何宗教义务的束缚，但他敏锐的天性却使他对基督徒应尽的各种义务有直觉的深刻理解。因此，他依仗着自己的超凡见识，竭力不去做那些有可能让他受到良心谴责的事，以免将来有一天会为此付出代价。人真是矛盾的复杂集合体啊！尤其是在宗教理想问题上，更显得摇摆不定。因此，冒然去承担一种义务而做不到，反倒不如不去承担它。
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