目 录 上一节 下一节 
我挣脱了跟着我并想留住我的圣.约翰。该轮到我处于支配地位了。我的力量在起作用，在发挥威力了。我告诉他不要再提问题，或是再发议论了。我希望他离开我。我必须而且也宁愿一个人呆着。他立刻听从了。只要有魄力下命令，别人总是听话的。我上楼回卧室，把自己锁在房里，跪了下来，以我的方式祈祷着--不同于圣.约翰的方式，他自有其效果，我似乎已进入了一颗伟大的心灵，我的灵魂感激地冲出去来到他脚边。我从感恩中站起来--下了决心--随后躺了下来，并不觉得害怕，却受到了启发--急切地盼着白昼的来临。 The daylight came. I rose at dawn. I busied myself for an hour ortwo with arranging my things in my chamber, drawers, and wardrobe,in the order wherein I should wish to leave them during a briefabsence. Meantime, I heard St. John quit his room. He stopped atmy door: I feared he would knock--no, but a slip of paper waspassed under the door. I took it up. It bore these words - 白昼来临，拂晓时我便起身了。我忙了一两个小时，根据短期外出的需要，把房间、抽屉和衣橱里的东西作了安排。与此同时，我听到圣.约翰离开了房间，在我房门外停了一下，我担心他会敲门--不，他没有敲，却从门底下塞进来一个纸条，我拿起来一看，只见上面写着： "You left me too suddenly last night. Had you stayed but a littlelonger, you would have laid your hand on the Christian's cross andthe angel's crown. I shall expect your clear decision when I returnthis day fortnight. Meantime, watch and pray that you enter notinto temptation: the spirit, I trust, is willing, but the flesh, Isee, is weak. I shall pray for you hourly.--Yours, ST. JOHN."" 咋晚你离开我太突然了。要是你再呆一会儿，你就会把手放在基督的十字架和天使的皇冠上了。二周后的今天我回来时盼你已作出明确的决定。同时，你要留心并祈祷，愿自己不受诱惑。我相信，灵是愿意的；但我也看到，肉是软弱的。我会时时为你祈祷--你的，圣.约翰。" "My spirit," I answered mentally, "is willing to do what is right;and my flesh, I hope, is strong enough to accomplish the will ofHeaven, when once that will is distinctly known to me. At any rate,it shall be strong enough to search--inquire--to grope an outletfrom this cloud of doubt, and find the open day of certainty."" 我的灵，"我心里回答，"乐意做一切对的事情，我希望我的肉也很坚强，一旦明确上帝的意志、便有力量去实现它。无论如何，我的肉体是够坚强的，让我可以去探求--询问--摸索出路，驱散疑云，找到确然无疑的晴空。" It was the first of June; yet the morning was overcast and chilly:rain beat fast on my casement. I heard the front-door open, and St.John pass out. Looking through the window, I saw him traverse thegarden. He took the way over the misty moors in the direction ofWhitcross--there he would meet the coach. 这是六月一日。早晨，满天阴云，凉气袭人，骤雨敲窗。我听见前门开了，圣.约翰走了出去。透过窗子，我看到他走过花园，踏上雾蒙蒙的荒原，朝惠特克劳斯方向走去，--那儿他将搭上马车。 
几小时之后我会循着你的足迹，表兄，"我想："我也要去惠特克劳斯搭乘马车。在永远告别英国之前，我也有人要探望和问候。" It wanted yet two hours of breakfast-time. I filled the interval inwalking softly about my room, and pondering the visitation which hadgiven my plans their present bent. I recalled that inward sensationI had experienced: for I could recall it, with all its unspeakablestrangeness. I recalled the voice I had heard; again I questionedwhence it came, as vainly as before: it seemed in ME--not in theexternal world. I asked was it a mere nervous impression--adelusion? I could not conceive or believe: it was more like aninspiration. The wondrous shock of feeling had come like theearthquake which shook the foundations of Paul and Silas's prison;it had opened the doors of the soul's cell and loosed its bands--ithad wakened it out of its sleep, whence it sprang trembling,listening, aghast; then vibrated thrice a cry on my startled ear,and in my quaking heart and through my spirit, which neither fearednor shook, but exulted as if in joy over the success of one effortit had been privileged to make, independent of the cumbrous body. 离早餐还有两个小时。这段时间我在房间里轻轻地走来走去，思忖着促成我眼前这番计划的奇事。我回忆着我所经历的内在感觉，我能回想起那种难以言说的怪异。我回想着我听到的声音，再次像以前那样徒劳地问，它究竟从何而来。这声音似乎来自我内心--而不是外部世界。我问道，难道这不过是一种神经质的印象--一种幻觉？我既无法想象，也并不相信。它更像是神灵的启示。这惊人的震感来势猛似地震，摇撼了保尔和西拉所在的监狱的地基，它打开了心灵的牢门，松开了锁链，--把心灵从沉睡中唤醒，它呆呆地颤栗着，倾听着。随后一声尖叫震动了三次，冲击着我受惊的耳朵，沉入我震颤的心田，穿透了我心灵。心灵既不害怕，也没有震惊，而是欢喜雀跃，仿佛因为有幸不受沉重的躯体支配，作了一次成功的努力而十分高兴似的。 "Ere many days," I said, as I terminated my musings, "I will knowsomething of him whose voice seemed last night to summon me.Letters have proved of no avail--personal inquiry shall replacethem."" 不要很多天，"我从沉思中回过神来后说。"我会了解到他的一些情况，昨晚他的声音已经召唤过我。信函问询已证明毫无结果--我要代之以亲自探访。" At breakfast I announced to Diana and Mary that I was going ajourney, and should be absent at least four days. 早餐时，我向黛安娜和玛丽宣布，我要出门去，至少离开四天。 "Alone, Jane?" they asked." 一个人去吗，简？"她们问。 
是的，去看看，或者打听一下一个朋友的消息，我已为他担心了好久了。" They might have said, as I have no doubt they thought, that they hadbelieved me to be without any friends save them: for, indeed, I hadoften said so; but, with their true natural delicacy, they abstainedfrom comment, except that Diana asked me if I was sure I was wellenough to travel. I looked very pale, she observed. I replied,that nothing ailed me save anxiety of mind, which I hoped soon toalleviate. 正如我明白她们在想的那样，她们本可以说，一直以为除了她们，我没有别的朋友，其实我也总是这么讲的。但出于天生真诚的体贴，她们没有发表任何议论，除了黛安娜问我身体是否确实不错，是否适宜旅行。她说我脸色苍白。我回答说没有什么不适，只不过内心有些不安，但相信不久就会好的。 It was easy to make my further arrangements; for I was troubled withno inquiries--no surmises. Having once explained to them that Icould not now be explicit about my plans, they kindly and wiselyacquiesced in the silence with which I pursued them, according to methe privilege of free action I should under similar circumstanceshave accorded them. 于是接下来的安排就容易了，因为我不必为刨根究底和东猜西想而烦恼。我一向她们解释，现在还不能明确宣布我的计划，她们便聪明而善解人意地默许我悄然进行，给了我在同样情况下也会给予她们的自由行动的特权。 I left Moor House at three o'clock p.m., and soon after four I stoodat the foot of the sign-post of Whitcross, waiting the arrival ofthe coach which was to take me to distant Thornfield. Amidst thesilence of those solitary roads and desert hills, I heard itapproach from a great distance. It was the same vehicle whence, ayear ago, I had alighted one summer evening on this very spot--howdesolate, and hopeless, and objectless! It stopped as I beckoned.I entered--not now obliged to part with my whole fortune as theprice of its accommodation. Once more on the road to Thornfield, Ifelt like the messenger-pigeon flying home. 下午三点我离开了沼泽居，四点后不久，我便已站在惠特克劳斯的路牌下，等待着马车把我带到遥远的桑菲尔德去。在荒山野路的寂静之中，我很远就听到了马车靠近了。一年前的一个夏夜，我就是从这辆马车上走下来，就在这个地方--那么凄凉，那么无望，那么毫无目的！我一招手马车便停了下来。我上了车--现在已不必为一个座位而倾囊所有了。我再次踏上去桑菲尔德的路途，真有信鸽飞回家园之感。 It was a journey of six-and-thirty hours. I had set out fromWhitcross on a Tuesday afternoon, and early on the succeedingThursday morning the coach stopped to water the horses at a waysideinn, situated in the midst of scenery whose green hedges and largefields and low pastoral hills (how mild of feature and verdant ofhue compared with the stern North-Midland moors of Morton!) met myeye like the lineaments of a once familiar face. Yes, I knew thecharacter of this landscape: I was sure we were near my bourne. 这是一段三十六小时的旅程。星期二下午从惠特克劳斯出发，星期四一早，马车在路边的一家旅店停下，让马饮水。旅店座落在绿色的树篱、宽阔的田野和低矮的放牧小山之中（与中北部莫尔顿严峻的荒原相比，这里的地形多么柔和，颜色何等苍翠！），这番景色映入我眼帘，犹如一位一度熟悉的人的面容。不错，我了解这里景物的特点，我确信已接近目的地了。 
桑菲尔德离这儿有多远？"我问旅店侍马人。 "Just two miles, ma'am, across the fields."" 穿过田野走两英里就到了，小姐。" "My journey is closed," I thought to myself. I got out of thecoach, gave a box I had into the ostler's charge, to be kept till Icalled for it; paid my fare; satisfied the coachman, and was going:the brightening day gleamed on the sign of the inn, and I read ingilt letters, "The Rochester Arms." My heart leapt up: I wasalready on my master's very lands. It fell again: the thoughtstruck it:-" 我的旅程结束了，"我暗自思忖。我跳下马车，把身边的一个盒子交给侍马人保管，回头再来提取，付了车钱，给足了马夫，便启程上路了。黎明的曙光照在旅店的招牌上，我看到了镀金的字母"罗切斯特纹章"，心便砰砰乱跳，原来我已来到我主人的地界。但转念一想，又心如止水了。 "Your master himself may be beyond the British Channel, for aughtyou know: and then, if he is at Thornfield Hall, towards which youhasten, who besides him is there? His lunatic wife: and you havenothing to do with him: you dare not speak to him or seek hispresence. You have lost your labour--you had better go no farther,"urged the monitor. "Ask information of the people at the inn; theycan give you all you seek: they can solve your doubts at once. Goup to that man, and inquire if Mr. Rochester be at home."" 也许你的主人在英吉利海峡彼岸。况且，就是他在你匆匆前往的桑菲尔德府，除了他还有谁也在那里呢？还有他发了疯的妻子，而你与他毫不相干。你不敢同他说话，或者前去找他。你劳而无功--你还是别再往前走吧，"冥冥中的监视者敦促道。"从旅店里的人那里探听一下消息吧，他们会提供你寻觅的一切情况，立刻解开你的疑团，走到那个人跟前去，问问罗切斯特先生在不在家。"
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