目 录 上一节 下一节 
从此。我知道圣.约翰担心什么命运会落在我头上。 A calm, subdued triumph, blent with a longing earnestness, markedhis enunciation of the last glorious verses of that chapter. Thereader believed his name was already written in the Lamb's book oflife, and he yearned after the hour which should admit him to thecity to which the kings of the earth bring their glory and honour;which has no need of sun or moon to shine in it, because the gloryof God lightens it, and the Lamb is the light thereof. 他在朗读那一章最后几句壮丽的诗句时，露出一种平静而克制的得意之情，混杂着竭诚的渴望。这位朗读者相信，他的名字已经写在羔羊生命册上了，他盼望着允许他进城的时刻，地上的君王已将自己的荣耀光照，又有羔羊为城的灯。 In the prayer following the chapter, all his energy gathered--allhis stern zeal woke: he was in deep earnest, wrestling with God,and resolved on a conquest. He supplicated strength for the weak-hearted; guidance for wanderers from the fold: a return, even atthe eleventh hour, for those whom the temptations of the world andthe flesh were luring from the narrow path. He asked, he urged, heclaimed the boon of a brand snatched from the burning. Earnestnessis ever deeply solemn: first, as I listened to that prayer, Iwondered at his; then, when it continued and rose, I was touched byit, and at last awed. He felt the greatness and goodness of hispurpose so sincerely: others who heard him plead for it, could notbut feel it too. 在这章之后的祈祷中，他调动了全身的活力--他那一本正经的热情又复苏了，他虔诚地向上帝祈祷，决心要取胜。他祈求给弱者以力量；给脱离羊栏的迷路人以方向；让那些受世俗生活和情欲诱惑而离开正道者，关键时刻迷途而知返。他请求，他敦促，他要求上天开恩，让他们免于火烙。真诚永远是庄严的。开始，我听着祈祷的时候，对他的真诚心存疑惑；接着，祈祷继续进行并声音越来越响时，我被它所打动，最后终于不胜敬畏了。他真诚地感到他目的之伟大和高尚；那些听他为此祈祷的人也不能不产生同感。 The prayer over, we took leave of him: he was to go at a very earlyhour in the morning. Diana and Mary having kissed him, left theroom--in compliance, I think, with a whispered hint from him: Itendered my hand, and wished him a pleasant journey. 祈祷之后，我们向他告别，因为第二天一早他就要出门。黛安娜和玛丽吻了他以后离开了房间，想必是听从他的悄声暗示的缘故。我伸出手去，祝他旅途愉快。 "Thank you, Jane. As I said, I shall return from Cambridge in afortnight: that space, then, is yet left you for reflection. If Ilistened to human pride, I should say no more to you of marriagewith me; but I listen to my duty, and keep steadily in view my firstaim--to do all things to the glory of God. My Master was long-suffering: so will I be. I cannot give you up to perdition as avessel of wrath: repent--resolve, while there is yet time.Remember, we are bid to work while it is day--warned that 'the nightcometh when no man shall work.' Remember the fate of Dives, who hadhis good things in this life. God give you strength to choose thatbetter part which shall not be taken from you!"" 谢谢你，简。我说过，两周后我会从剑桥返回，那么这段时间留着供你思考。要是我听从人的尊严，我应当不再说起你同我结婚的事儿，但我听从职责，一直注视着我的第一个目标--为上帝的荣誉而竭尽全力。我的主长期受苦受难，我也会这样。我不能让你永坠地狱，变成受上天谴责的人。趁你还来得及的时候忏悔吧--下决心吧。记住，我们受到吩咐，要趁白天工作--我们还受到警告，'黑夜将到，就没有人能作工了。'记住那些今世享福的财主的命运。上帝使你有力量选择好的福份，这福份是不能从你那儿夺走的。" 
他说最后几个字时把手放在我头上，话说得很诚恳，也很委婉。说真的，他用的不是一个情人看女友的眼神，而是牧师召回迷途羔羊的目光--或许更好些，是一个守护神注视着他所监护的灵魂的目光，一切有才能的人，无论有无感情，无论是狂热者、还是追求者，抑或暴君--只要是诚恳的--在征服和统治期间都有令人崇敬的时刻。我崇敬圣.约翰--那么五体投地，结果所产生的冲击力一下子把我推到了我久久回避的那一点上。我很想停止同他搏斗--很想让他意志的洪流急速注入他生活的海峡，与我的水乳交融。现在我被他所困扰，几乎就象当初我受到另一个人的不同方式的困扰一样，两次我都做了傻瓜，在当时让步会是原则上的错误；而现在让步就会犯判断的错误。所以此时此刻我想，当我透过时间的平静中介，回头去看那危机时，当初我并没有意识到自己的愚蠢。 I stood motionless under my hierophant's touch. My refusals wereforgotten--my fears overcome--my wrestlings paralysed. TheImpossible--I.E., my marriage with St. John--was fast becoming thePossible. All was changing utterly with a sudden sweep. Religioncalled--Angels beckoned--God commanded--life rolled together like ascroll--death's gates opening, showed eternity beyond: it seemed,that for safety and bliss there, all here might be sacrificed in asecond. The dim room was full of visions. 我一动不动地站着，受着我的圣师的触摸。我忘却了拒绝--克服了恐惧--停止了搏斗。不可能的事--也就是我与圣.约翰的婚姻--很快要成为可能了。猛地一阵风过，全都变了样。宗教在呼唤--天使在招手--上帝在指挥--生命被卷起，好像书卷--死亡之门打开了，露出了彼岸的永恒。后来，为了那里的安全和幸福，顷刻之间这里什么都可以牺牲。阴暗的房间里充满了幻象。 "Could you decide now?" asked the missionary. The inquiry was putin gentle tones: he drew me to him as gently. Oh, that gentleness!how far more potent is it than force! I could resist St. John'swrath: I grew pliant as a reed under his kindness. Yet I knew allthe time, if I yielded now, I should not the less be made to repent,some day, of my former rebellion. His nature was not changed by onehour of solemn prayer: it was only elevated." 你现在就能决定吗？"传教士问。这问活的语调很温柔，他同样温柔地把我拉向他。呵，那么温柔！它比强迫要有力得多！我能抵御圣.约翰的愤怒，但面对他的和善，我便像芦苇一般柔顺了。但我始终很清楚，要是我现在让步，有一天我照样会对我以前的叛逆感到懊悔。他的本性并不因为一小时的庄严析祷而改变，只不过升华了而已。 "I could decide if I were but certain," I answered: "were I butconvinced that it is God's will I should marry you, I could vow tomarry you here and now--come afterwards what would!"" 只要有把握，我就能决定，"我回答："只要能说服我嫁给你确实是上帝的意志，那我此时此刻就可以发誓嫁给你--不管以后会发生什么？" "My I prayers are heard!" ejaculated St. John. He pressed his handfirmer on my head, as if he claimed me: he surrounded me with hisarm, ALMOST as if he loved me (I say ALMOST--I knew the difference--for I had felt what it was to be loved; but, like him, I had now putlove out of the question, and thought only of duty). I contendedwith my inward dimness of vision, before which clouds yet rolled. Isincerely, deeply, fervently longed to do what was right; and onlythat. "Show me, show me the path!" I entreated of Heaven. I wasexcited more than I had ever been; and whether what followed was theeffect of excitement the reader shall judge." 我的祈祷应验了！"圣.约翰失声叫道。他的手在我头上压得更紧了，仿佛他己经把我要去了。他用胳膊搂住我，几乎像是爱着我（我说"几乎"--我知道这中间的差别--因为我曾感受过被爱的滋味。但是像他一样，我已把爱置之度外，想的只是职守了）。我在疑云翻滚的内心同不明朗的态度斗争着。我诚恳地、深深地、热切地期望去做对的事情，也只做对的事情。"给我指点一下--给我指点一下道路吧？"我祈求上苍。我从来没有像现在那么激动过。至于后来发生的事情是不是激动的结果，读者自可判断。 
整座房子寂静无声。因为我相信，除了圣.约翰和我自己，所有的人都安息了。那一根蜡烛幽幽将灭，室内洒满了月光。我的心砰砰乱跳，我听见了它的搏动声。突然一种难以言表的感觉使我的心为之震颤，并立即涌向我的头脑和四肢，我的心随之停止了跳动。这种感觉不象一阵电击，但它一样地尖锐，一样地古怪，一样地惊人。它作用于我的感官，仿佛它们在这之前的最活跃时刻也只不过处于麻木状态。而现在它们受到了召唤，被弄醒了。它们起来了，充满了期待，眼睛和耳朵等候着，而肌肉在骨头上哆嗦。 "What have you heard? What do you see?" asked St. John. I sawnothing, but I heard a voice somewhere cry -" 你听到了什么啦？你看见什么了吗？"圣.约翰问。我什么也没有看到，可是我听见一个声音在什么地方叫唤着-- "Jane! Jane! Jane!"--nothing more." 简！简！简！"随后什么也听不到了。 "O God! what is it?" I gasped." 呵，上帝呀！那是什么声音？"我喘息着。 I might have said, "Where is it?" for it did not seem in the room--nor in the house--nor in the garden; it did not come out of the air--nor from under the earth--nor from overhead. I had heard it--where, or whence, for ever impossible to know! And it was the voiceof a human being--a known, loved, well-remembered voice--that ofEdward Fairfax Rochester; and it spoke in pain and woe, wildly,eerily, urgently. 我本该说"这声音是从哪里来的？"因为它似乎不在房间里--也不在屋子里--也不在花园里。它不是来自空中--也不是来自地下--也不是来自头顶。我已经听到了这声音--从何而来，或者为何而来，那是永远无法知道的！而这是一个声音--一个熟悉、亲切、记忆犹新的声音--爱德华.费尔法克斯.罗切斯特的声音。这声音痛苦而悲哀--显得狂乱、怪异和急切。 
我来了！"我叫道。"等我一下！呵，我会来的！"我飞也似地走到门边，向走廊里窥视着，那时一灯漆黑，我冲进花园，里边空空如也。 "Where are you?" I exclaimed." 你在哪儿？"我喊道。 The hills beyond Marsh Glen sent the answer faintly back--"Where areyou?" I listened. The wind sighed low in the firs: all wasmoorland loneliness and midnight hush. 沼泽谷另一边的山峦隐隐约约地把回答传了过来--"你在哪儿？"我倾听着。风在冷杉中低吟着，一切只有荒原的孤独和午夜的沉寂。 "Down superstition!" I commented, as that spectre rose up black bythe black yew at the gate. "This is not thy deception, nor thywitchcraft: it is the work of nature. She was roused, and did--nomiracle--but her best."" 去你的迷信！"那幽灵黑魈魈地在门外紫杉木旁边出现时我说道。"这不是你的骗局，也不是你的巫术，而是大自然的功劳。她苏醒了，虽然没有创造奇迹，却尽了最大的努力。"
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