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他咬着牙，默默无语。他收住了脚步，用靴子踢着坚硬的地面，某种厌恶感抓住了他，把他攫得紧紧的，使他举步不前。 We were ascending the avenue when he thus paused; the hall wasbefore us. Lifting his eye to its battlements, he cast over them aglare such as I never saw before or since. Pain, shame, ire,impatience, disgust, detestation, seemed momentarily to hold aquivering conflict in the large pupil dilating under his eboneyebrow. Wild was the wrestle which should be paramount; butanother feeling rose and triumphed: something hard and cynical:self-willed and resolute: it settled his passion and petrified hiscountenance: he went on - 他这么突然止住话头时，我们正登上小路，桑菲尔德府展现在我们面前。他抬眼去看城垛，眼睛瞪得大大的。这种神色，我以前和以后从未见过。痛苦、羞愧、狂怒--焦躁、讨厌、僧恶--似乎在他乌黑的眉毛下涨大的瞳孔里，暂时进行着一场使他为之颤栗的搏斗。这番至关重要的交战空前激烈，不过另一种感情在他心中升起，并占了上风，这种感情冷酷而玩世不恭，任性而坚定不移，消融了他的激情，使他脸上现出了木然的神色，他继续说： "During the moment I was silent, Miss Eyre, I was arranging a pointwith my destiny. She stood there, by that beech-trunk--a hag likeone of those who appeared to Macbeth on the heath of Forres. 'Youlike Thornfield?' she said, lifting her finger; and then she wrotein the air a memento, which ran in lurid hieroglyphics all along thehouse-front, between the upper and lower row of windows, 'Like it ifyou can! Like it if you dare!'" 我刚才沉默的那一刻，爱小姐，我正跟自己的命运交涉着一件事情，她站在那儿，山毛榉树干旁边--一个女巫，就像福累斯荒原上出现在麦克白面前几个女巫中的一个。'你喜欢桑菲尔德吗？'她竖起她的手指说，随后在空中写了一条警语，那文字奇形怪状，十分可怖，覆盖了上下两排窗户之间的正壁：'只要能够，你就喜欢它！只要你敢，你就喜欢它！' "'I will like it,' said I; 'I dare like it;' and" (he subjoinedmoodily) "I will keep my word; I will break obstacles to happiness,to goodness--yes, goodness. I wish to be a better man than I havebeen, than I am; as Job's leviathan broke the spear, the dart, andthe habergeon, hindrances which others count as iron and brass, Iwill esteem but straw and rotten wood.""' 我一定喜欢它，'我说，'我敢于喜欢它，'（他郁郁不欢地补充了一句），我会信守诺言，排除艰难险阻去追求幸福，追求良善--对，良善。我希望做个比以往，比现在更好的人--就像约伯的海中怪兽那样，折断矛戟和标枪，刺破盔甲，扫除一切障碍，别人以为这些障碍坚如钢铁，而我却视之为干草、烂木。" Adele here ran before him with her shuttlecock. 这时阿黛勒拿着板羽球跑到了他跟前。 
走开！"他厉声喝道，"离得远一点，孩子，要不，到里面索菲娅那儿去。"随后他继续默默地走路，我冒昧地提醒他刚才突然岔开去的话题。 "Did you leave the balcony, sir," I asked, "when Mdlle. Varensentered?"" 瓦伦小姐进屋的时候你离开了阳台吗，先生？"我问。 I almost expected a rebuff for this hardly well-timed question, but,on the contrary, waking out of his scowling abstraction, he turnedhis eyes towards me, and the shade seemed to clear off his brow."Oh, I had forgotten Celine! Well, to resume. When I saw mycharmer thus come in accompanied by a cavalier, I seemed to hear ahiss, and the green snake of jealousy, rising on undulating coilsfrom the moonlit balcony, glided within my waistcoat, and ate itsway in two minutes to my heart's core. Strange!" he exclaimed,suddenly starting again from the point. "Strange that I shouldchoose you for the confidant of all this, young lady; passingstrange that you should listen to me quietly, as if it were the mostusual thing in the world for a man like me to tell stories of hisopera-mistresses to a quaint, inexperienced girl like you! But thelast singularity explains the first, as I intimated once before:you, with your gravity, considerateness, and caution were made to bethe recipient of secrets. Besides, I know what sort of a mind Ihave placed in communication with my own: I know it is one notliable to take infection: it is a peculiar mind: it is a uniqueone. Happily I do not mean to harm it: but, if I did, it would nottake harm from me. The more you and I converse, the better; forwhile I cannot blight you, you may refresh me." After thisdigression he proceeded - 我几乎预料他会拒绝回答这个不合时宜的问题，可是恰恰相反，他从一脸愁容、茫然若失之中醒悟过来，把目光转向我，眉宇间的阴云也似乎消散了。"哦，我已经把塞莉纳给忘了！好吧，我接着讲。当我看见那个把我弄得神瑰颠倒的女人，由一个好献殷勤的男人陪着进来时，我似乎听到了一阵嘶嘶声，绿色的妒嫉之蛇，从月光照耀下的阳台上呼地窜了出来，盘成了高低起伏的圈圈，钻进了我的背心，两分钟后一直咬啮到了我的内心深处。真奇怪！"他惊叫了一声，突然又离开了话题。"真奇怪我竟会选中你来听这番知心话，年轻小姐，更奇怪的是你居然静静地听着，仿佛这是人世间再正常不过的事情，由一个像我这样的男人，把自己当歌女的情人的故事，讲给一个像你这样古怪而不谙世事的姑娘听。不过正像我曾说过的那样，后一个特点说明了前者：你稳重、体贴、细心，生来就是听别人吐露隐秘的。此外，我知道我选择的是怎样的一类头脑，来与自己的头脑沟通。我知道这是一个不易受感染的头脑，与众不同，独一无二。幸而我并不想败坏它，就是我想这么做，它也不会受影响，你与我谈得越多越好，因为我不可能腐蚀你。而你却可以使我重新振作起来。"讲了这番离题的话后，他又往下说： "I remained in the balcony. 'They will come to her boudoir, nodoubt,' thought I: 'let me prepare an ambush.' So putting my handin through the open window, I drew the curtain over it, leaving onlyan opening through which I could take observations; then I closedthe casement, all but a chink just wide enough to furnish an outletto lovers' whispered vows: then I stole back to my chair; and as Iresumed it the pair came in. My eye was quickly at the aperture.Celine's chamber-maid entered, lit a lamp, left it on the table, andwithdrew. The couple were thus revealed to me clearly: bothremoved their cloaks, and there was 'the Varens,' shining in satinand jewels,--my gifts of course,--and there was her companion in anofficer's uniform; and I knew him for a young roue of a vicomte--abrainless and vicious youth whom I had sometimes met in society, andhad never thought of hating because I despised him so absolutely.On recognising him, the fang of the snake Jealousy was instantlybroken; because at the same moment my love for Celine sank under anextinguisher. A woman who could betray me for such a rival was notworth contending for; she deserved only scorn; less, however, thanI, who had been her dupe." 我仍旧呆在阳台上。'他们肯定会到她闺房里来，'我想，'让我来一个伏击。'于是把手缩回开着的窗子、将窗帘拉拢，只剩下一条便于观察的开口。随后我关上窗子，只留下一条缝，刚好可以让'情人们的喃喃耳语和山盟海誓，'透出来，接着我偷偷地回到了椅子上。刚落座，这一对进来了。我的目光很快射向缝隙。塞莉纳的侍女走进房间，点上灯，把它留在桌子上，退了出去。于是这一对便清清楚楚地暴露在我面前了。两人都脱去了斗篷，这位'名人瓦伦'一身绸缎、珠光宝气--当然是我的馈赠--她的陪伴却一身戎装，我知道他是一个vicomet，一个年青的roue，--一个没有头脑的恶少，有时在社交场中见过面，我却从来没有想到去憎恨他，因为我绝对地鄙视他。一认出他来，那蛇的毒牙--嫉妒，立即被折断了，因为与此同时，我对塞莉纳的爱火也被灭火器浇灭了。一个女人为了这样一个情敌而背弃我，是不值得一争的，她只配让人蔑视，然而我更该如此，因为我己经被她所愚弄。 "They began to talk; their conversation eased me completely:frivolous, mercenary, heartless, and senseless, it was rathercalculated to weary than enrage a listener. A card of mine lay onthe table; this being perceived, brought my name under discussion.Neither of them possessed energy or wit to belabour me soundly, butthey insulted me as coarsely as they could in their little way:especially Celine, who even waxed rather brilliant on my personaldefects--deformities she termed them. Now it had been her custom tolaunch out into fervent admiration of what she called my 'beautemale:' wherein she differed diametrically from you, who told mepoint-blank, at the second interview, that you did not think mehandsome. The contrast struck me at the time and--"" 他们开始交谈。两人的谈话使我完全安心了，轻浮浅薄、唯利是图、冷酷无情、毫无意义，叫人听了厌烦，而不是愤怒。桌上放着我的一张名片，他们一看见便谈论起我来了。两人都没有能力和智慧狠狠痛斥我，而是耍尽小手段，粗鲁地侮辱我，尤其是塞莉纳，甚至夸大其词地对我进行人身攻击，把我的缺陷说成残疾，而以前她却惯于热情赞美她所说我的"beautemale"。在这一点上，你与她全然不同，我们第二次见面时，你直截了当地告诉我，你认为我长得不好看，当时两者的反差给我留下了深刻印象。" 
这时阿黛勒又奔到了他跟前。 "Monsieur, John has just been to say that your agent has called andwishes to see you."" 先生，约翰刚才过来说，你的代理人来了，希望见你。" "Ah! in that case I must abridge. Opening the window, I walked inupon them; liberated Celine from my protection; gave her notice tovacate her hotel; offered her a purse for immediate exigencies;disregarded screams, hysterics, prayers, protestations, convulsions;made an appointment with the vicomte for a meeting at the Bois deBoulogne. Next morning I had the pleasure of encountering him; lefta bullet in one of his poor etiolated arms, feeble as the wing of achicken in the pip, and then thought I had done with the whole crew.But unluckily the Varens, six months before, had given me thisfilette Adele, who, she affirmed, was my daughter; and perhaps shemay be, though I see no proofs of such grim paternity written in hercountenance: Pilot is more like me than she. Some years after Ihad broken with the mother, she abandoned her child, and ran away toItaly with a musician or singer. I acknowledged no natural claim onAdele's part to be supported by me, nor do I now acknowledge any,for I am not her father; but hearing that she was quite destitute, Ie'en took the poor thing out of the slime and mud of Paris, andtransplanted it here, to grow up clean in the wholesome soil of anEnglish country garden. Mrs. Fairfax found you to train it; but nowyou know that it is the illegitimate offspring of a French opera-girl, you will perhaps think differently of your post and protegee:you will be coming to me some day with notice that you have foundanother place--that you beg me to look out for a new governess, &c.--Eh?"" 噢！那样我就只好从简了。我打开落地窗，朝他们走去，解除了对塞莉纳的保护，通知她腾出房子，给了她一笔钱以备眼前急用，不去理睬她的大哭小叫、歇斯底里、恳求、抗议和痉挛，跟那位子爵约定在布洛尼树林决斗的时间，第二天早晨，我有幸与他相遇，在他一条如同瘟鸡翅膀那么弱不禁风的可怜的胳膊上，留下了一颗子弹，随后自认为我已了结同这伙人的关系，不幸的是，这位瓦伦在六个月之前给我留下了这个fillette阿黛勒，并咬定她是我女儿。也许她是，尽管我从她脸上看不到父女之间的必然联系。派洛特还比她更像我呢。我同瓦伦决裂后几年，瓦伦遗弃了孩子，同一个音乐家或是歌唱家私奔到了意大利。当时我并没有承认自己有抚养阿黛勒的义务，就是现在也不承认，因为我不是她的父亲，不过一听到她穷愁潦倒，我便把这个可怜虫带出了巴黎的泥坑，转移到这里，让她在英国乡间花园健康的土壤中，干干净净地成长，费尔法克斯太太找到了你来培养她，而现在，你知道她是一位法国歌剧女郎的私生女了，你也许对自己的职位和保保人身份，改变了想法，说不定哪一天你会来见我，通知我己经找到了别的工作。让我另请一位新的家庭教师等等呢？" "No: Adele is not answerable for either her mother's faults oryours: I have a regard for her; and now that I know she is, in asense, parentless--forsaken by her mother and disowned by you, sir--I shall cling closer to her than before. How could I possiblyprefer the spoilt pet of a wealthy family, who would hate hergoverness as a nuisance, to a lonely little orphan, who leanstowards her as a friend?"" 不，阿黛勒不应对她母亲和你的过失负责。我很关心她，现在我知道她在某种意义上说没有父母--被她的母亲所抛弃，而又不被你所承认，先生--我会比以前更疼爱她。我怎么可能喜欢富贵人家一个讨厌家庭教师的娇惯的宠儿，而不喜欢象朋友一样对待她的孤苦无依的小孤儿呢？" "Oh, that is the light in which you view it! Well, I must go innow; and you too: it darkens."" 啊，你是从这个角度来看待这件事了，好吧，我得进去了，你也一样，天黑下来了。"
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