名著·简.爱 - 第85节


目 录 上一节 下一节

  伊丽莎镇定地打量着她母亲。沉默了几分钟后,她说:

   "With her constitution she should have lived to a good old age: herlife was shortened by trouble." And then a spasm constricted hermouth for an instant: as it passed away she turned and left theroom, and so did I. Neither of us had dropt a tear."

  按她那样的体质,她本可以活到很老的年纪,烦恼缩短了她的寿命。"接着她的嘴抽搐了一下,过后,她转身离开了房间,我也走了。我们两人都没有流一滴眼泪。

   Mr. Rochester had given me but one week's leave of absence: yet amonth elapsed before I quitted Gateshead. I wished to leaveimmediately after the funeral, but Georgiana entreated me to staytill she could get off to London, whither she was now at lastinvited by her uncle, Mr. Gibson, who had come down to direct hissister's interment and settle the family affairs. Georgiana saidshe dreaded being left alone with Eliza; from her she got neithersympathy in her dejection, support in her fears, nor aid in herpreparations; so I bore with her feeble-minded wailings and selfishlamentations as well as I could, and did my best in sewing for herand packing her dresses. It is true, that while I worked, she wouldidle; and I thought to myself, "If you and I were destined to livealways together, cousin, we would commence matters on a differentfooting. I should not settle tamely down into being the forbearingparty; I should assign you your share of labour, and compel you toaccomplish it, or else it should be left undone: I should insist,also, on your keeping some of those drawling, half-insincerecomplaints hushed in your own breast. It is only because ourconnection happens to be very transitory, and comes at a peculiarlymournful season, that I consent thus to render it so patient andcompliant on my part."

  罗切斯特先生只准许我缺席一周,但我还没有离开盖茨黑德,一个月就已经过去了。我希望葬礼后立即动身,乔治亚娜却恳求我一直呆到她去伦敦,因为来这里张罗姐姐的葬礼和解决家庭事务的吉卜森舅舅,终于邀请她上那儿了。乔治亚娜害怕同伊丽莎单独相处,说是情绪低沉时得不到她的同情;胆怯时得不到她的支持;收拾行装时得不到她的帮助。所以乔治亚娜软弱无能、畏首畏尾、自私自利、怨天尤人,我都尽量忍受,并力尽所能替她做针线活,收拾衣装。确实,我忙着时她会闲着不干事。我暗自思讨道:"要是你我注定要一直共同生活,表姐,我们要重新处事,与以往全然不同。我不该乖乖地成为忍受的一方,而该把你的一份活儿分派给你,迫使你去完成,要不然就让它留着不做。我还该坚持让你那慢条斯理、半真半假的诉苦咽到你肚子里去。正是因为我们之间的关系十分短暂,偏又遇上特殊的凭吊期间,所以我才甘愿忍耐和屈从。"

   At last I saw Georgiana off; but now it was Eliza's turn to requestme to stay another week. Her plans required all her time andattention, she said; she was about to depart for some unknownbourne; and all day long she stayed in her own room, her door boltedwithin, filling trunks, emptying drawers, burning papers, andholding no communication with any one. She wished me to look afterthe house, to see callers, and answer notes of condolence.

  我终于送别了乔治亚娜、可是现在却轮到了伊丽莎要求我再呆一周了。她说她的计划需要她全力以赴,因为就要动身去某个未知的目的地了。她成天闩了门呆在房间里,装箱子,理抽屉,烧文件,同谁都不来往。她希望我替她看管房子,接待来客,回复唁函。

   One morning she told me I was at liberty. "And," she added, "I amobliged to you for your valuable services and discreet conduct!There is some difference between living with such an one as you andwith Georgiana: you perform your own part in life and burden noone. To-morrow," she continued, "I set out for the Continent. Ishall take up my abode in a religious house near Lisle--a nunneryyou would call it; there I shall be quiet and unmolested. I shalldevote myself for a time to the examination of the Roman Catholicdogmas, and to a careful study of the workings of their system: ifI find it to be, as I half suspect it is, the one best calculated toensure the doing of all things decently and in order, I shallembrace the tenets of Rome and probably take the veil."

  一天早晨她告诉我没有我的事了。"而且,"她补充道,"我感激你宝贵的帮助和周到的办事。跟你共处和跟乔治亚娜共处,有所不同。你在生活中尽自己的责任,而不成为别人的负担。明天,"她继续说,"我要动身去大陆。我会在里斯尔附近一家寺院找到栖身之所--你会称它为修道院。在那里我会安静度日,不受干扰。我会暂时致力于考察罗马天主教信条,和细心研究它体制的运转。我虽然半信半疑,但要是发现它最适宜于使一切事情办得公平合理,井井有条,那我会皈依罗马教,很可能还会去当修女。"

  我既没有对她的决定表示惊奇,也没有劝说她打消这个念头。"这一行对你再适合不过了,"我想,"但愿对你大有好处!"

   When we parted, she said: "Good-bye, cousin Jane Eyre; I wish youwell: you have some sense."

  我们分手时她说:"再见,简.爱表妹,祝你走运,你还是有些见识的。"

   I then returned: "You are not without sense, cousin Eliza; but whatyou have, I suppose, in another year will be walled up alive in aFrench convent. However, it is not my business, and so it suitsyou, I don't much care."

  我随后回答道:"你也不是没有见识,伊丽莎表姐。但再过一年,我想你的禀赋会被活活地囚禁在法国修道院的围墙之内。不过这不是我的事儿,反正对你适合--我并不太在乎。"

   "You are in the right," said she; and with these words we each wentour separate way. As I shall not have occasion to refer either toher or her sister again, I may as well mention here, that Georgianamade an advantageous match with a wealthy worn-out man of fashion,and that Eliza actually took the veil, and is at this day superiorof the convent where she passed the period of her novitiate, andwhich she endowed with her fortune."

  你说得很对,"她说。我们彼此说了这几句话后,便分道扬镳了。由于我没有机会再提起她或她妹妹了,我不妨在这儿说一下吧。乔治亚娜在婚事上得以高攀,嫁给了上流社会一个年老力衰的有钱男子。伊丽莎果真做了修女,度过了一段见习期后,现在做了修道院院长,并把全部财产赠给了修道院。

   How people feel when they are returning home from an absence, longor short, I did not know: I had never experienced the sensation. Ihad known what it was to come back to Gateshead when a child after along walk, to be scolded for looking cold or gloomy; and later, whatit was to come back from church to Lowood, to long for a plenteousmeal and a good fire, and to be unable to get either. Neither ofthese returnings was very pleasant or desirable: no magnet drew meto a given point, increasing in its strength of attraction thenearer I came. The return to Thornfield was yet to be tried.

  无论是短期还是长期外出回家的人是什么滋味,我并不知道,因为我从来没有这种感受。但我知道,小时候走了很远的路后回到盖茨黑德府,因为显得怕冷或情绪低沉而挨骂是什么滋味。后来,我也知道,从教堂里回到罗沃德,渴望一顿丰盛的饭菜和熊熊的炉火,结果却两者都落空时,又是什么滋味。那几次归途并不愉快,也不令人向往,因为没有一种磁力吸引我奔向目标,不是离得越近越具诱人的力量。这次返回桑菲尔德是什么滋味,还有待于体味。

  旅途似乎有些乏味--很乏味。白天走五十英里,晚上投宿于旅店。第二天又走五十英里。最初十二个小时,我想起了里德太太临终的时刻。我看见了她变了形相、没有血色的脸,听见了她出奇地走了样的声调。我默默地忆起了出丧的日子,还有棺材、棂车、黑黑的一队佃户和佣人--亲戚参加的不多--张开的墓穴、寂静的教堂、庄严的仪式。随后我想起了伊丽莎和乔治亚娜。我看见一个是舞场中的皇后,另一个是修道院陋室的居士。我继续思索着,分析了她们各自的个性和品格。傍晚时抵达某个大城镇,驱散了这些想法。夜间,我的思绪转了向。我躺在这远游者的床榻上,撇开回忆,开始了对未来的向往。

   I was going back to Thornfield: but how long was I to stay there?Not long; of that I was sure. I had heard from Mrs. Fairfax in theinterim of my absence: the party at the hall was dispersed; Mr.Rochester had left for London three weeks ago, but he was thenexpected to return in a fortnight. Mrs. Fairfax surmised that hewas gone to make arrangements for his wedding, as he had talked ofpurchasing a new carriage: she said the idea of his marrying MissIngram still seemed strange to her; but from what everybody said,and from what she had herself seen, she could no longer doubt thatthe event would shortly take place. "You would be strangelyincredulous if you did doubt it," was my mental comment. "I don'tdoubt it."

  我正在回桑菲尔德的归途中,可是我会在那儿呆多久呢?我确信不会太久。在外期间,费尔法克斯太太写信告诉我,府上的聚会已经散去,罗切斯特先生三周前动身上伦敦去了,不过预定二周后就返回。费尔法克斯太太推测,他此去是为张罗婚礼的,因为曾说起要购置一辆新马车。她还说,总觉得这不免有些蹊跷,罗切斯特先生尽想着要娶英格拉姆小姐。不过从大家说的和她亲眼见的来看,她不再怀疑婚礼很快就会举行。"要是连这也怀疑,那你真是疑心病重得出奇了。"我心里嘀咕着。"我并不怀疑。"

   The question followed, "Where was I to go?" I dreamt of Miss Ingramall the night: in a vivid morning dream I saw her closing the gatesof Thornfield against me and pointing me out another road; and Mr.Rochester looked on with his arms folded--smiling sardonically, asit seemed, at both her and me.

  接踵而来的是这个问题,"我上哪儿去呢?"我彻夜梦见英格拉姆小姐,在活灵活现的晨梦中,我看见她当着我关上了桑菲尔德的大门,给我指了指另外一条路。罗切斯特先生袖手旁观--似乎对英格拉姆小姐和我冷笑着。

   I had not notified to Mrs. Fairfax the exact day of my return; for Idid not wish either car or carriage to meet me at Millcote. Iproposed to walk the distance quietly by myself; and very quietly,after leaving my box in the ostler's care, did I slip away from theGeorge Inn, about six o'clock of a June evening, and take the oldroad to Thornfield: a road which lay chiefly through fields, andwas now little frequented.

  我没有通知费尔法克斯太太回家的确切日子,因为我不希望派普通马车或是高级马车到米尔科特来接我。我打算自己静静地走完这段路。这样,六月的某个黄昏,六时左右,我把自己的箱子交给饲马倌后,静悄悄地溜出乔治旅店,踏上了通向桑菲尔德的老路,这条路直穿田野,如今已很少有人光顾。

   It was not a bright or splendid summer evening, though fair andsoft: the haymakers were at work all along the road; and the sky,though far from cloudless, was such as promised well for the future:its blue--where blue was visible--was mild and settled, and itscloud strata high and thin. The west, too, was warm: no waterygleam chilled it--it seemed as if there was a fire lit, an altarburning behind its screen of marbled vapour, and out of aperturesshone a golden redness.

  这是一个晴朗温和却并不明亮灿烂的夏夜,干草工们沿路忙碌着。天空虽然有云,却仍有好天气的兆头。天上的蓝色--在看得见蓝色的地方--柔和而稳定,云层又高又薄。西边也很暖和,没有湿润的微光来造就凉意--看上去仿佛点起了火,好似一个祭坛在大理石般雾气的屏障后面燃烧着,从缝隙中射出金色的红光。

  面前的路越走越短,我心里非常高兴,高兴得有一次竟停下脚步问自己,这种喜悦的含义何在,并提醒理智,我不是回到自己家里,或是去一个永久的安身之处,我是到一个亲密的朋友们翘首以待、等候我到达的地方。"可以肯定,费尔法克斯太太会平静地笑笑,表示欢迎,"我说,"而小阿黛勒会拍手叫好,一见我就跳起来,不过你心里很明白,你想的不是她们,而是另外一个人,而这个人却并不在想你。"

目 录 上一节 下一节

分享本课给同学:

   

扫扫二维码

手机学英语


名著·简.爱 - 第85节