名著·茶花女 - 第59节

　　“您找哪一家，先生？”看门人把门打开后问我。

'Madame Duvernoy.'

　　“到迪韦尔诺瓦太太家里去。”

'She's not back.'

　　“她还没有回来。”

'Are you sure?'

　　“您能肯定吗？”

'Yes, sir. There's even a letter that was delivered yesterday evening that I haven't had chance to give her.'

　　“能，先生，这里还有她一封信，是昨天晚上送来的，我还没有交给她呢。”

　　看门人把一封信拿给我看，我机械地向那封信瞥了一眼。

I recognized Marguerite's handwriting.

　　我认出了这是玛格丽特的笔迹。

I took the letter.

　　我拿过信来。

It was addressed like this: 'To Madame Duvernoy, to be given to Monsieur Duval.'

　　信封上写着：烦请迪韦尔诺瓦夫人转交迪瓦尔先生。

'This letter is for me, ' I told the porter, and I showed him the address.

　　“这封信是给我的，”我对看门人说，我把信封上的字指给他看。

　　“您就是迪瓦尔先生吗？”这个人问我。

'Yes.'

　　“是的。”

'Now I recognize you. You often come here to see Madame Duvernoy.'

　　“啊！我认识您，您经常到迪韦尔诺瓦太太家来的。”

As soon as I was in the street, I broke open the seal on the letter.

　　一到街上，我就打开了这封信。

Had lightning struck at my feet, I would not have been more appalled than by what I read.

　　即使在我脚下响起了一个霹雷也不会比读到这封信更使我觉得惊恐的了。

　　在您读到这封信的时候，阿尔芒，我已经是别人的情妇了，我们之间一切都完了。

Go back to your father, my dear. Go and see your sister. She's a pure young woman who knows nothing of all our miseries. With her, you will very quickly forget what you have suffered at the hands of a fallen creature named Marguerite Gautier who, for an instant, you truly loved and who stands in your debt for the only happy moments in her life which, she hopes, will not last much longer.'

　　回到您父亲跟前去，我的朋友，再去看看您的妹妹，她是一个纯洁的姑娘，她不懂得我们这些人的苦难。在您妹妹的身旁，您很快就会忘记那个被人叫做玛格丽特·戈蒂埃的堕落的姑娘让您受到的痛苦。她曾经一度享受过您的爱情，这个姑娘一生中仅有的幸福时刻就是您给她的，她现在希望她的生命早点结束。

When I reached the end, I thought I was going out of my mind.

　　当我念到最后一句话时，我觉得我快要神经错乱了。

For a moment, I was genuinely afraid that I would collapse on to the cobbles of the street. My eyes clouded over and the blood pulsated in my temples.

　　有一忽儿我真怕要倒在街上了。我眼前一片云雾，热血在我太阳穴里突突地跳动。

After a while, I recovered something of my composure and looked around me in astonishment as I saw other people going about their lives without pausing over my unhappiness.

　　后来我稍许清醒了一些，我环视着周围，看到别人并不关心我的不幸，他们还是照常生活，我真奇怪透了。

　　我一个人可承受不了玛格丽特给我的打击。

Then I recalled that my father was there in the same city as myself, that I could be with him in ten minutes and that, whatever the reason for my sorrows, he would share them.

　　于是我想到了我父亲正与我在同一个城市，十分钟后我就可以到他身边了，而且他会分担我的痛苦，不管这种痛苦是什么原因造成的。

I ran like a madman, like a thief, all the way to the Hotel de Paris. The key was in the door of my father's apartment. I let myself in.

　　我像个疯子、像个小偷似的奔跑着，一直跑到巴黎旅馆，看见我父亲的房门上插着钥匙，我开门走了进去。

He was reading.

　　他在看书。

Judging by the small show of surprise which he displayed when he saw me, you might have thought that he had been expecting me.

　　看到我出现在他面前，他并不怎么惊奇，仿佛正在等着我似的。

　　我一句话也不说就倒在他怀抱里，我把玛格丽特的信递给他，听任自己跌倒在他的床前，我热泪纵横地嚎啕大哭起来。

WHEN I was something like myself once more, I could not believe that the new day which was dawning would not be exactly like all the days that had gone before. There were moments when I felt that some circumstance or other, which I could not remember, had obliged me to spend the night away from Marguerite, and that, if I returned to Bougival, I should find her waiting anxiously, just as I had waited, and she would ask me what had kept me from her.

　　当生活中的一切重新走上轨的时候，我不能相信新来的一天对我来说跟过去的日子会有什么两样。有好几次我总以为发生了什么我已经记不起来的事情使我没有能在玛格丽特家里过夜，而如果我回布吉瓦尔的话，就会看到她像我一样焦急地等着我，她会问我是谁把我留住了，使她望眼欲穿。

When your life has become so dependent on a habit as strong as our habit of loving, it hardly seems possible that the habit can be broken without also demolishing everything else which buttresses your life.

　　当爱情成了生活中的一种习惯，再要想改变这种习惯而不同时损害生活中所有其他方面的联系，似乎是不可能的。

And so, from time to time, I was driven to reread Marguerite's letter, to convince myself that I had not been dreaming.

　　因此我不得不经常重读玛格丽特的信，好让自己确信不是在做梦。

My body, giving way under the nervous shock, was incapable of any kind of movement. The worry, my walk through the night and the morning's revelations had exhausted me. My father took advantage of my state of total collapse to ask me for my strict promise that I would go away with him.

　　由于精神上受到刺激，我的身体几乎已经垮了。心中的焦虑，夜来的奔波，早晨听到的消息，这一切已使我精疲力竭。我父亲趁我极度衰弱的时候要我明确地答应跟他一起离开巴黎。

　　他的要求我全部同意了，我没有力量来进行一场争论，在刚遭到那么些事情以后，我需要一种真挚的感情来帮助我活下去。

I was very glad that my father felt able to comfort me in my great sorrow.

　　我父亲非常愿意来医治我所遭到的这种创伤，我感到十分幸福。

All I remember is that the same day, at about five o'clock, he put us both into a post-chaise. Without telling me, he had arranged for my trunks to be got ready and had them strapped along with his to the back of the carriage, and then he took me away with him.

　　我能记得起来的就是那天五点钟光景，他让我跟他一起登上了一辆驿车。他叫人替我准备好行李，和他的行李捆在一起放在车子后面，一句话也没有跟我说就把我带走了。

I became aware of what I was doing only when the city had dropped behind us, when the empty road reminded me of the emptiness in my heart.

　　我茫然若失。当城市消失在后面以后，旅程的寂寞又勾起了我心中的空虚。

Then the tears got the better of me once more.

　　这时候我的眼泪又涌上来了。