目 录 上一节 下一节 
这个女人完全是一个不知羞耻、没有心肝、没有头脑的妓女的典型，至少对我来说是这样，因为也许有别的男人会跟她一起做我跟玛格丽特一起做过的那种美梦。 She asked me for money. I gave it her. Then, free to go, I went home. 她问我要钱，我给了她，于是就可以走了，我回到了自己家里。 Marguerite had not sent a reply. 玛格丽特没有给我回信。 There is no point in my telling you in what state of agitation I spent the whole of the following day. 不用跟您说第二天我是在怎样激动的心情下度过的。 At half past six, a messenger brought an envelope containing my letter and the five hundred franc note, but nothing else. 六点半，一个当差给我送来了一封信，里面装着我那封信和那张五百法郎的钞票，此外一个字也没有。 
“是谁把这封信交给您的？”我对那个人说。 'A lady who was leaving on the Boulogne mail coach with her maid. She gave me orders not to bring it until the coach was clear of the depot.' “一位夫人，她和她的使女一起乘上了去布洛涅的驿车，她吩咐我等驿车驶出庭院之后再把信送给您。” I ran all the way to Marguerite's apartment. 我跑到玛格丽特家里。 'Madame left for England today at six o'clock, ' said the porter in answer to my question. “太太今天六点钟动身到英国去了。”看门人对我说。 There was nothing now to keep me in Paris, neither love nor hate. I was exhausted by the turmoil of these events. One of my friends was about to set off on a tour of the Middle East. I went to see my father and said I wished to go with him. My father gave me bills of exchange and letters of introduction, and a week or ten days later I boarded ship at Marseilles. 没有什么可以再把我留在巴黎了，既没有恨也没有爱。由于受到这一切冲击我已精疲力竭。我的一个朋友要到东方去旅行，我对父亲说我想陪他一起去；我父亲给了我一些汇票和介绍信。八九天以后，我在马赛上了船。 
在亚历山大，我从一个我曾在玛格丽特家里见过几面的大使馆随员那里，知道了这个可怜的姑娘的病况。 It was then that I sent her the letter to which she wrote the reply you have read for yourself. I got it when I reached Toulon. 于是我写了一封信给她，她写给我一封回信，我是在土伦收到的，您已经看到了。 I set out immediately and you know the rest. 我立刻就动身回来，以后的事您都知道了。 All that remains now is for you to read the papers which Julie Duprat kept for me. They are the necessary complement of the story I have just told you. 现在您只要读一下朱利·迪普拉交给我的那些日记就行了，这是我刚才对您讲的故事的不可缺少的补充。 ARMAND, wearied by the telling of his long tale which had been frequently interrupted by his tears, placed both hands on his forehead and closed his eyes ?either to think or to try to sleep ? after giving me the pages written in Marguerite's hand. 阿尔芒的长篇叙述，经常因为流泪而中断。他讲得很累，把玛格丽特亲手写的几页日记交给我以后，他就双手捂着额头，闭上了眼睛，可能是在凝思，也可能是想睡一会儿。 
过了一会儿，我听到他发出了一阵比较急促的呼吸声，这说明阿尔芒已经睡着了，但是睡得不那么熟，一点轻微的声音就会把他惊醒的。 This is what I read. I transcribe it without adding or deleting a single syllable: 下面就是我看到的内容，我一字不改地抄录了下来： 'Today is the 15th December. I have been ill for three or four days. This morning, I took to my bed; the weather is dull and I feel low. There is no one with me here. I think of you, Armand. And you, where are you now as I write these lines? Far from Paris, far away, I've heard, and perhaps you have already forgotten Marguerite. But be happy, for I owe you the only moments of joy I have known in my life. 今天是十二月十五日，我已经病了三四天了。今天早晨我躺在床上，天色阴沉，我心情忧郁；我身边一个人也没有，我在想您叔本华（ArthurSchopenhauer，1788-1860）德国哲学，阿尔芒。而您呢，我在写这几行字的时候，您在哪里啊？有人告诉我说，您在离巴黎很远很远的地方，也许您已经忘记了玛格丽特。总之，愿您幸福，我一生中仅有的一些欢乐时刻是您给我的。 I could not resist the temptation of wanting to explain why I behaved as I did, and I wrote you a letter. But, coming from a loose woman like me, any such letter may be regarded as a tissue of lies unless it is sanctified by the authority of death, in which case it becomes a confession rather than a letter. 我再也忍不住了，我要把我过去的行为给您作一番解释，我已经给您写过一封信了，但是一封由我这样一个姑娘写的信，很可能被看作是满纸谎言；除非我死了，由于死亡的权威而使这封信神圣化；除非这不是一封普通的信，而是一份忏悔书，才会有人相信。 Today I am ill. I may die of my illness, for I always had a feeling that I would die young. My mother died of consumption, and the way I have lived up to now can only have aggravated a complaint which was the only legacy she left me. But I do not want do die without your knowing how you stand with me ?if, that is, when you get back, you still feel anything for the sorry creature you loved before you went away. 今天我病了，我可能就此一病至死。因为我一直预感到我的寿命不会太长了。我母亲是生肺病死的，这种病是她留给我的唯一遗产；而我那一贯的生活方式只会使我的病加重。我不愿意悄悄死去而不让您弄清楚关于我的一切事情，万一您回来的时候，您还在留恋那个您离开以前爱过的那个可怜姑娘的话。 
以下就是这封信的内容，为了给我的辩解提供一个新的证明，我是非常高兴把它再写一遍的。 You remember, Armand, how startled we were at Bougival by the news of your father's arrival; you recall the blind terror his coming prompted in me, and the scene that took place between the two of you which you described to me that evening. 阿尔芒，您还记得吗？在布吉瓦尔的时候，您父亲到来的消息是怎样把我们吓了一跳的吧；您还记得您父亲的到来引起我不由自主的恐惧吧；您还记得您在当天晚上讲给我听的关于您和他之间发生的事情吧。 The next day, while you were in Paris waiting for your father who never came back, a man came to the house and handed me a letter from Monsieur Duval. 第二天，当您还在巴黎等着您父亲、可是总不见他回来的时候，一个男子来到我家里，交给我一封迪瓦尔先生的来信。 The letter, which I enclose with this, begged me, in the gravest terms, to find an excuse for getting you out of the way the following day, and to agree to a visit from your father. He had something to say to me, and was most particular that I should say nothing to you about the step he had taken. 这封信我现在附在这里，它措辞极其严肃地要求我第二天借故把您遣开，以便接待您的父亲；您父亲有话要和我谈，他特别叮嘱我一点也不要把他的举动讲给您听。 You recall how insistent I was, when you got back, that you should return to Paris again the next day. 您还记得在您回来以后，我是怎样坚持要您第二天再到巴黎去的吧。 
您走了一个小时以后，您父亲就来了。他严峻的脸色给我的印象也不用我对您多说了。您父亲满脑子都是旧观念，他认为凡是妓女都是一些没有心肝、没有理性的生物，她们是一架榨钱的机器，就像钢铁铸成的机器一样，随时随地都会把递东西给它的手压断，毫不留情、不分好歹地粉碎保养它和驱使它的人。 Your father had written me a very proper letter to persuade me to see him; when he came, his manner was somewhat at variance with the way he had written. There were enough slights, insults and even open threats in his opening words for me to give him to understand that he was in my house, and that the only account of my life I owed him was dictated by the genuine affection I felt for his son. 您父亲为了要我同意接待他，写了一封很得体的信给我；但他来了以后却不像他信上所写的那样客气。谈话开始的时候，他盛气凌人，傲慢无礼，甚至还带着威胁的口吻，以致我不得不让他明白这是在我的家里，要不是为了我对他的儿子有真挚的感情，我才没有必要向他报告我的私生活呢。 Monsieur Duval moderated his tone a little, yet even so he began saying that he could no longer permit his son to go on ruining himself for me. He said I was beautiful, there was no denying it, but however beautiful I was, I ought not to use my beauty to destroy the future of a young man by expecting him to foot the bill for my extravagance. 迪瓦尔先生稍许平静了一些，不过他还是对我说他不能再听任他儿子为我弄得倾家荡产。他说我长得漂亮，这是事实，但是不论我怎么漂亮，也不应该凭借我的姿色去挥霍无度，去牺牲一个年轻人的前途。 Now there was only one way of answering that, was there not? and that was to prove that all the time I had been your mistress, no sacrifice had been too great for me to make so that I could remain faithful to you without asking for more money than you could afford to let me have. I showed the pawn-tickets, the receipts given me by people to whom I had sold items I could not pawn; I told your father that I had decided to get rid of my furniture to pay my debts, and that I was determined to live with you without being a drain on your purse. I told him how happy we were. I told him how you had shown me a more tranquil, happier kind of life and, in the end, he conceded that he was in the wrong, and he gave me his hand, asking my pardon for the manner in which he had behaved at first. 对这个问题只能用一件事来回答，是不是？我只有提出证据说明，自从我成为您的情妇以来，为了对您保持忠实，而又不再向您要求过超出您经济能力的钱财，我不惜作出了一切牺牲。我拿出当票来给他看，有些我不能典当的东西我卖掉了，我把买主的收条给他看，我还告诉您父亲，为了跟您同居而又不要成为您一个过重的负担，我已经决定变卖我的家具来还债。我把我们的幸福，您对我讲过的一个比较平静和比较幸福的生活讲给他听，他终于明白了，把手伸向我，要我原谅他开始时对我耍的态度。
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