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可是现在,我生病了,死亡的悲惨境遇渐渐在我面前呈现。由于病痛,我精神颓丧;由于发热,我体力衰竭。这时,我沉睡已久的良心开始苏醒,并开始责备自己过去的生活。在此之前,我罪大恶极,冒犯了上帝,所以现在上帝来惩罚我,给我以非同寻常的打击,用这种报应的手段来对待我。 These Reflections oppress'd me for the second or third Day of my Distemper, and in the Violence, as well of the Feaver, as of the dreadful Reproaches of my Conscience, extorted some Words from me, like praying to God, tho' I cannot say they were either a Prayer attended with Desires or with Hopes; it was rather the Voice of meer Fright and Distress; my Thoughts were confus'd, the Convictions great upon my Mind, and the Horror of dying in such a miserable Condition rais'd Vapours into my Head with the meer Apprehensions; and in these Hurries of my Soul, I know not what my Tongue might express: but it was rather Exclamation, such as, Lord! what a miserable Creature am I? If I should be sick, I shall certainly die for Want of Help, and what will become of me! Then the Tears burst out of my Eyes, and I could say no more for a good while. 我的反省,在我生病的第二天和第三天,把我压得透不过气来。由于发热,也由于良心的谴责,从嘴里逼出了几句类似祈祷的话。然而,这种祈祷,有口无心,既无良好的愿望,也不抱任何希望,只是恐惧和痛苦的呼喊而已。这时,我思想极度混乱,深感自己罪孽深重,而一想到自己将在如此悲惨的境况下死去,更是恐怖万分。我心灵惶恐不安,不知道自己嘴里说了些什么话,只是不断地呼喊着这样的话:"上帝啊,我多可怜啊!我生病了,没有人照顾我,我是必死无疑了!我该怎么办啊?"于是,我眼泪夺眶而出,半天说不出话来。 In this Interval, the good Advice of my Father came to my Mind, and presently his Prediction which I mention'd at the Beginning of this Story, viz. That if I did take this foolish Step, God would not bless me, and I would have Leisure hereafter to reflect upon having neglected his Counsel, when there might be none to assist in my Recovery. Now, said I aloud, My dear Father's Words are come to pass: God's Justice has overtaken me, and I have none to help or hear me: I rejected the Voice of Providence, which had mercifully put me in a Posture or Station of Life, wherein I might have been happy and easy; but I would neither see it my self, or learn to know the Blessing of it from my Parents; I left them to mourn over my Folly, and now I am left to mourn under the Consequences of it: I refus'd their Help and Assistance who wou'd have lifted me into the World, and wou'd have made every Thing easy to me, and now I have Difficulties to struggle with, too great for even Nature itself to support, and no Assistance, no Help, no Comfort, no Advice; then I cry'd out, Lord be my Help, for I am in great Distress. 这时,我想起了父亲的忠告,也想到了他老人家的预言。这些我在故事一开始就提到了。父亲说,我如果执意采取这种愚蠢的行动,那么,上帝一定不会保佑我。当我将来呼援无门时,我会后悔自己没有听从他的忠告。这时,我大声说,现在,父亲的话果然应验了:上帝已经惩罚了我,谁也不能来救我,谁也不能来听我的呼救了。我拒绝了上天的好意,上天原本对我十分慈悲,把我安排在一个优裕的生活环境中,让我幸福舒适地过日子。可是,我自己却身在福中不知福,又不听父母的话来认识这种福份。我使父母为我的愚蠢行为而痛心,而现在,我自己也为我的愚蠢行为所带来的后果而痛心。本来,父母可以帮助我成家立业,过上舒适的生活;然而,我却拒绝了他们的帮助。现在,我不得不在艰难困苦中挣扎,困难之大,连大自然本身都难以忍受。而且,我孤独无援,没有人安慰我,也没有人照应我,也没有人忠告我。想到这里,我又大喊大叫:“上帝啊,救救我吧!我已走投无路了啊!" This was the first Prayer, if I may call it so, that I had made for many Years: But 1 return to my Journal. 多少年来,我第一次发出了祈祷,如果这也可算是祈祷的话。现在,让我重新回到日记上来吧。 June 28. Having been somewhat refresh'd with the Sleep I had had, and the Fit being entirely off, I got up; and tho' the Fright and Terror of my Dream was very great, yet I consider'd, that the Fit of the Ague wou'd return again the next Day, and now was my Time to get something to refresh and support my self when I should be ill; and the first Thing I did, I fill'd a large square Case Bottle with Water, and set it upon my Table, in Reach of my Bed; and to take off the chill or aguish Disposition of the Water, I put about a Quarter of a Pint of Rum into it, and mix'd them together; then I got me a Piece of the Goat's Flesh, and broil'd it on the Coals, but could eat very little; I walk'd about, but was very weak, and withal very sad and heavy-hearted in the Sense of my miserable Condition; dreading the Return of my Distemper the next Day; at Night I made my Supper of three of the Turtle's Eggs, which I roasted in the Ashes, and eat, as we call it, in the Shell; and this was the first Bit of Meat I had ever ask'd God's Blessing to, even as I cou'd remember, in my whole Life. 六月二十八日睡了一夜,精神好多了,寒热也完全退了,我就起床了。尽管恶梦之后,心有余悸,但我考虑到疟疾明天可能会再次发作,还不如趁此准备些东西,在我发病时可吃喝。我先把一个大方瓶装满了水,放在床边的桌子上,为了减少水的寒性,又倒了四分之一公升的甘蔗酒在里面,把酒和水掺合起来。然后,又取了一块羊肉,放在火上烤熟,但却吃不了多少。我又四处走动了一下,可是一点力气也没有。想到我当前可悲的处境,又担心明天要发病,心里非常苦闷,非常沉重。晚上,我在火灰里烤了三个鳖蛋,剥开蛋壳吃了,算是晚饭。就我记忆所及,我一生中第一次在吃饭时做祷告,祈求上帝的赐福。 
吃过晚饭,我想外出走走,可是周身无力,几乎连枪都拿不动(因为我从来外出都要带枪)。所以我只走了几步,就坐在地上,眺望着面前的海面。这时,海上风平浪静。我坐在那里,心潮起伏,思绪万千。 What is this Earth and Sea of which I have seen so much, whence is it produc'd, and what am I, and all the other Creatures, wild and tame, humane and brutal, whence are we? 这大地和大海,尽管我天天看到,可到底是什么呢?它们又来自何方?我和其他一切生灵,野生的和驯养的,人类和野兽,究竟是些什么?又都来自何方? Sure we are all made by some secret Power, who form'd the Earth and Sea, the Air and Sky; and who is that? Then it follow'd most naturally, It is God that has made it all: Well, but then it came on strangely, if God has made all these Things, He guides and governs them all, and all Things that concern them; for the Power that could make all Things, must certainly have Power to guide and direct them. 毫无疑问,我们都是被一种隐秘的力量创造出来的;也正是这种力量创造了陆地、大海和天空。但这种力量又是什么呢?显然,最合理的答案是上帝创造了这一切。继而,就可得出一个非同寻常的结论:既然上帝创造了这一切,就必然能引导和支配这一切以及一切与之有关的东西。能创造万物的力量,当然也能引导和支配万物。 If so, nothing can happen in the great Circuit of his Works, either without his Knowledge or Appointment. 既然如此,那么在上帝创造的世界里,无论发生什么事,上帝不可能不知道,甚至就是上帝自己的安排。 And if nothing happens without his Knowledge, he knows that I am here, and am in this dreadful Condition; and if nothing happens without his Appointment, he has appointed all this to befal me. 既然发生的事上帝都知道,那上帝也一定知道我现在流落在这荒岛上,境况悲惨。既然发生的一切都是上帝一手安排的,那么,这么多灾难降临到我头上,也是上帝安排的。 
我想不出有任何理由能推翻这些结论。这使我更加坚信,我遭遇的这些灾难,都是上帝安排的;正是上帝的指使,使我陷入了当前的悲惨境遇。上帝不仅对我,而且对世间万物,都有绝对的支配权力。于是,我马上又想到:"上帝为什么要这么对待我?我到底做了什么坏事,上帝才这么惩罚我呢?"这时,我的良心立刻制止我提出这样的问题,好像我亵渎了神明;我好像听到良心对我说:"你这罪孽深重的人啊,你竟还要问你作下了什么坏事?回头看看你半生的罪孽吧!问问你自己,你什么坏事没有作过?你还该问一下,你本来早就死了,为什么现在还能活着?为什么你没有在雅茅斯港外的锚地中淹死?当你们的船被从萨累开来的海盗船追上时,你为什么没有在作战中死去?你为什么没有在非洲海岸上被野兽吃掉?当全船的人都在这儿葬身大海,为什么唯独你一人没有淹死?而你现在竟还要问,'我作了什么坏事?'" I was struck dumb with these Reflections, as one astonish'd, and had not a Word to say, no not to answer to my self, but rise up pensive and sad, walk'd back to my Retreat, and went up over my Wall, as if I had been going to Bed, but my Thoughts were sadly disturb'd, and I had no Inclination to Sleep; so I sat down in my Chair, and lighted my Lamp, for it began to be dark: Now as the Apprehension of the Return of my Distemper terrify'd me very much, it occurr'd to my Thought, that the Brasilians take no Physick but their Tobacco, for almost all Distempers; and I had a Piece of a Roll of Tobacco in one of the Chests, which was quite cur'd, and some also that was green and not quite cur'd. 想到这些,我不禁惊愕得目瞪口呆,无言以对。于是,我愁眉不展地站起来,走回住所。我爬过墙头,准备上床睡觉。可是,我心烦意乱,郁郁不乐,无心入睡。我坐到椅子里,点燃了灯,因为这时天已黑了。我担心旧病复发,心中十分害怕。这时,我忽然想起,巴西人不管生什么病,都不吃药,只嚼烟叶。我箱子里有一卷烟叶,大部分都已烤熟了;也有一些青烟叶,尚未完全烤熟。 I went, directed by Heaven no doubt; for in this Chest I found a Cure, both for Soul and Body, I open'd the Chest, and found what I look'd for, viz. the Tobacco; and as the few Books, I had sav'd, lay there too, I took out one of the Bibles which I mention'd before, and which to this Time I had not found Leisure, or so much as Inclination to look into; I say, I took it out, and brought both that and the Tobacco with me to the Table. 于是,我就起身去取烟叶。毫无疑问,这是上天指引我去做的。因为,在箱子里,我不仅找到了医治我肉体的药物,还找到了救治我灵魂的良药。打开箱子,我找到了我要找的烟叶;箱子里也有几本我保存下来的书,我取出了一本《圣经》。前面我曾提到过从破船上找到几本《圣经》的事。在此以前,我一直没有闲暇读《圣经》,也无意去读。我刚才说了,我取出了一本《圣经》,并把书和烟叶一起放到桌上。 What Use to make of the Tobacco, I knew not, as to my Distemper, or whether it was good for it or no; but I try'd several Experiments with it, as if I was resolv'd it should hit one Way or other: I first took a Piece of a Leaf, and chew'd it in my Mouth, which indeed at first almost stupify'd my Brain, the Tobacco being green and strong, and that I had not been much us'd to it; then I took some and steeped it an Hour or two in some Rum, and resolv'd to take a Dose of it when I lay down; and lastly, I burnt some upon a Pan of Coals, and held my Nose close over the Smoke of it as long as I could bear it, as well for the Heat as almost for Suffocation. 我不知道如何用烟叶来治病,也不知道是否真能治好玻81但我作了多种试验,并想总有一种办法能生效。我先把一把烟叶放在嘴里嚼,一下子,我的头便晕起来。因为,烟叶还是半青的,味道很凶,而我又没有吃烟的习惯。然后,又取了点烟叶,放在甘蔗酒里浸了一两小时,决定睡前当药酒喝下去。最后,又拿一些烟叶放在炭盆里烧,并把鼻子凑上去闻烟叶烧烤出来的烟味,尽可能忍受烟熏的体味和热气,只要不窒息就闻下去。 In the Interval of this Operation, I took up the Bible and began to read, but my Head was too much disturb'd with the Tobacco to bear reading, at least that Time; only having open'd the Book casually, the first Words that occurr'd to me were these, Call on me in the Day of Trouble, and I will deliver, and thou shalt glorify me. 在这样治病的同时,我拿起《圣经》开始读起来。因为烟叶的体味把我的头脑弄得昏昏沉沉的,根本无法认真阅读,就随便打开书,映入我眼睛的第一个句子是:"你在患难的时候呼求我,我就必拯救你,而你要颂赞我。"①这些话对我的处境再合适不过了,读了后给我留下深刻的印象,并且,随着时间的过去,印象越来越深,铭记不忘。
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