名著·鲁宾逊飘流记 - 第23节


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  至于得到拯救的话,当时并没有使我动心。在我看来,我能获救的事,实在太渺茫了,太不现实了。正如上帝请其子民以色列人吃肉时,他们竟然问:"上帝能在旷野摆设筵席吗?"②所以我也问:"上帝自己能把我从这个地方拯救出去吗? "因为获救的希望在许多年后才出现,所以这个疑问多年来一直在我的脑子里盘旋。话虽如此,但这句话还是给我留下了深刻的印象,并时常使我回味这句话的意思。夜已深了,前面我也提到,烟味弄得我头脑昏昏沉沉的,就很想睡觉了。于是,我让灯在石洞里继续点着,以便晚上要拿东西的话会方便些,就上床睡了。临睡之前,我做了一件生平从未做过的事:我跪下来,向上帝祈祷,求他答应我,如果我在患难中向他呼求,他必定会拯救我。我的祈祷断断续续,话不成句。作完了祈祷,我就喝了点浸了烟叶的甘蔗酒。烟叶浸过之后,酒变得很凶,且烟味刺人,几乎无法喝下去。喝过酒后,就立刻上床睡觉。不久,我感到酒力直冲脑门,非常厉害。我就昏昏睡去,直到第二天下午三点钟才醒来。现在,在我记这日记的时候,我有点怀疑,很可能在第二天我睡了整整一天一夜,直到第三天下午三点钟才醒来。因为,几年后,我发现我的日历中这一周少算了一天,却又无法解释其中的原因。要是我来回穿越赤道①失去时间的话,我少掉的应该不止一天。事实是,我的确把日子漏记了一天,至于为什么会漏掉这一天,我自己也不得而知。

   Be that however one Way or th' other, when I awak'd I found my self exceedingly refresh'd, and my Spirits lively and chearful; when I got up, I was stronger than I was the Day before, and my Stomach better, for I was hungry; and in short, I had no Fit the next Day, but continu'd much alter'd for the better; this was the 29th.

  不管怎么说,醒来时我觉得精神焕发,身体也完全恢复了活力。起床后,我感到力气也比前一天大多了,并且胃口也开了,因为我肚子感到饿了。一句话,第二天疟疾没有发作,身体逐渐复原。这一天是二十九日。

   The 30th was my well Day of Course, and I went abroad with my Gun, but did not care to travel too far, I kill'd a Sea Fowl or two, something like a brand Goose, and brought them Home, but was not very forward to eat them; so I ate some more of the Turtle's Eggs, which were very good: This Evening I renew'd the Medicine which I had suppos'd did me good the Day before, viz. the Tobacco steep'd in Rum, only I did not take so much as before, nor did I chew any of the Leaf, or hold my Head over the Smoke; however, I was not so well the next Day, which was the first of July, as I hop'd I shou'd have been; for I had a little Spice of the cold Fit, but it was not much.

  三十日当然身体更好了,我重又带枪外出,但不敢走得太远。打死了一两只像黑雁那样的海鸟带回家,可又不想吃鸟肉,就又煮了几个鳖蛋吃,味道挺不错。晚上,我又喝了点浸了烟叶的甘蔗酒,因为我感到,正是昨天喝了这种药酒,身体才好起来,这次我喝得不多,也不再嚼烟叶,或烤烟叶熏头。第二天,七月一日,我以为身体会更好些,结果却有点发冷,但并不厉害。①穿越赤道不会失去时间。在这里,鲁滨孙也许头脑里想到的是日界线,即83国际日期变更线。

   July 2. I renew'd the Medicine all the three Ways, and doz'd my self with it as at first; and doubled the Quantity which I drank.

  七月二日我重新用三种方法治病,像第一次那样把头弄得昏昏沉沉的,喝下去的药酒也加了一倍。

   3. I miss'd the Fit for good and all, tho' I did not recover my full Strength for some Weeks after; while I was thus gathering Strength, my Thoughts run exceedingly upon this Scripture, I will deliver thee, and the Impossibility of my Deliverance lay much upon my Mind in Barr of my ever expecting it: But as I was discouraging my self with such Thoughts, it occurr'd to my Mind, that I pored so much upon my Deliverance from the main Affliction, that I disregarded the Deliverance I had receiv'd; and I was, as it were, made to ask my self such Questions as these, viz. Have I not been deliver'd, and wonderfully too, from Sickness? from the most distress'd Condition that could be, and that as so frightful to me, and what Notice I had taken of it? Had I done my Part? God had deliver'd me, but I had not glorify'd him; that is to say, I had not own'd and been thankful for that as a Deliverance, and how cou'd I expect greater Deliverance?

  七月三日病完全好了,但身体过了好几个星期才完全复原。在体力恢复过程中,我时时想到《圣经》上的这句话:"我就必拯救你。"但我深深感到,获救是绝不可能的,所以我不敢对此存有任何奢望。正当我为这种念头而感到灰心失望时,忽然醒悟到:我一心只想上帝把我从目前的困境中拯救出来,却没有想到自己已经获得了拯救。于是,我扪心自问:我不是从疾病中被拯救出来了吗?难道这不是一个奇迹?我不是也从最不幸、最可怕的境地中被拯救出来了吗?可自己有没有想到这一层呢?自己又有没有尽了本份,做该做的事情呢?"上帝拯救了我,我却没有颂赞上帝。"这就是说,我没有把这一切看作上帝对我的拯救,因而也没有感恩,我怎样期望更大的拯救呢?

  想到这些,我心里大受感动,立即跪下来大声感谢上帝,感谢他使我病好复原。

   July 4. In the Morning I took the Bible, and beginning at the New Testament, I began seriously to read it, and impos'd upon my self to read a while every Morning and every Night, not tying my self to the Number of Chapters, but as long as my Thoughts shou'd engage me: It was not long after I set seriously to this Work, but I found my Heart more deeply and sincerely affected with the Wickedness of my past Life: The Impression of my Dream reviv'd, and the Words, All these Things have not brought thee to Repentance, ran seriously in my Thought: I was earnestly begging of God to give me Repentance, when it happen'd providentially the very Day that reading the Scripture, I came to these Words, He is exalted a Prince and a Saviour, to give Repentance, and to give Remission: I threw down the Book, and with my Heart as well as my Hands lifted up to Heaven, in a Kind of Extasy of Joy, I cry'd out aloud, Jesus, thou Son of David, Jesus, thou exalted Prince and Saviour, give me Repentance!

  七月四日早上,我拿起《圣经》从《新约》读起。这次我是真正认真读了,并决定每天早晚都要读一次,也不规定一定要读多少章,只要想读就读下去。认真读经之后不久,心中受到深切、真诚的感动,觉悟到自己过去的生活,实在罪孽深重,梦中的情景又一次浮现在我的面前。我认真思考了梦中听到的那句话: "所发生的一切事情都不能使你忏悔。"那天,我真诚地祈求上帝给我忏悔的机会。忽然,就像有天意似的,在我照例翻阅《圣经》时,读到了这句话:"上帝又高举他在自己的右边,立为君王和救主,将悔改的心和赦罪的恩,赐给以色列人。"①于是,我放下书,双手举向天空;同时,我的心灵也升向天上,并欣喜若狂地高喊:"耶稣,你大卫②的儿子,耶稣,你被上帝举为君王和救主,请赐给我悔改的心吧!"

   This was the first Time that I could say, in the true Sense of the Words, that I pray'd in all my Life; for now I pray'd with a Sense of my Condition, and with a true Scripture View of Hope founded on the Encouragement of the Word of God; and from this Time, I may say, I began to have Hope that God would hear me.

  这是我有生以来第一次算得上是真正的祈祷,因为,我这次祈祷与自己的境遇联系了起来,并且,这次祈祷是受了上帝的话的鼓舞,抱着一种真正符合《圣经》精神的希望。也可以说,只有从这时期,我才开始希望上帝能听到我的祈祷。

   Now I began to construe the Words mentioned above, Call on me, and I will deliver you, in a different Sense from what I had ever done before; for then I had no Notion of any thing being call'd Deliverance, but my being deliver'd from the Captivity I was in; for tho' I was indeed at large in the Place, yet the Island was certainly a Prison to me, and that in the worst Sense in the World; but now I learn'd to take it in another Sense: Now I look'd back upon my past Life with such Horrour, and my Sins appear'd so dreadful, that my Soul sought nothing of God, but Deliverance from the Load of Guilt that bore down all my Comfort: As for my Solitary Life it was nothing; I did not SO much as pray to be deliver'd from it, or think of it; It was all of no Consideration in Comparison to this: And I add this Part here, to hint to whoever shall read it, that whenever they come to a true Sense of things, they will find Deliverance from Sin a much greater Blessing, than Deliverance from Affliction.

  现在,我开始用一种与以前完全不同的观点,理解我上面提到的那句话:"你若呼求我,我就必拯救你。"过去,我所理解的所谓拯救,就是把我从目前的困境中解救出来,因为,虽然我在这里自由自在,但这座荒岛对我来说实在是一座牢狱,而且是世界上最坏的牢狱。而现在,我从另一种意义上来理解"拯救"的含义:我回顾自己过去的生活,感到十分惊恐,我深感自己罪孽深重。因此,我现在对上帝别无他求,只求他把我从罪恶的深渊中拯救出来,因为,我的负罪感压得我日夜不安。至于我当前孤苦伶仃的生活,就根本算不了什么。我无意祈求上帝把我从这荒岛上拯救出去,我连想都没有这样想过。与灵魂获救相比,肉体的获救实在无足轻重。在这里,我说了这些话,目的是想让读者明白:一个人如果真的世事通明,就一定会认识到,真正的幸福不是被上帝从患难中拯救出来,而是从罪恶中拯救出来。

   But leaving this Part, I return to my Journal.

  现在,闲话少说,重回到日记上来吧。

  我当前的境况是:虽然生活依然很艰苦,但精神却轻松多了。由于读《圣经》和祈祷,思想变得高尚了,内心也有了更多的安慰,这种宽慰的心情我以前从未有过。同时,健康和体力也已恢复,我重又振作精神,安排工作,并恢复正常的生活。

   From the 4th of July to the 24th, I was chiefly employ'd walking about with my Gun in my Hand, a little and a little, at a Time, as a Man that was gathering up his Strength after a Fit of Sickness: For it is hardly to be imagin'd, how low I was, and to what Weakness I was reduc'd. The Application which I made Use of was perfectly new, and perhaps what had never cur'd an Ague before, neither can recommend it to any one to practise, by this Experiment; and tho' it did carry off the Fit, yet it rather contributed to weakening me; for I had frequent Convulsions in my Nerves and Limbs for some Time.

  从七月四日至十四日,我主要的活动是带枪外出,四处走走。像大病初愈的人那样,走走歇歇;随着体力逐渐恢复,再逐步扩大活动范围。当时,我精神萎靡,体力虚弱,一般人实难想像。我治病的方法,可以说是史无前例的;也许,这种方法以前从未治愈过疟疾。可我也不能把这个方法介绍给别人。用这个方法疟疾是治好了,但使我身体虚弱不堪。此后好长一段时间,我的神经和四肢还经常抽搐。

   I learn'd from it also this in particular, that being abroad the rainy Season was the most pernicious thing to my Health that could be, especially in those Rains which came ended with Storms and Hurricanes of Wind; for as the in which came in the dry Season was always most accompany'd with such Storms, so I found that Rain was much more dangerous than the Rain which fell in September and October.

  这场大病给了我一个教训:雨季外出对健康危害最甚,尤其是飓风和暴风带来的雨危害更大。而在旱季,要么不下雨,一下雨又总是刮暴风。所以,旱季的暴风雨比九、十月间的雨危害更大。

   I had been now in this unhappy Island above 10 Months, all Possibility of Deliverance from this Condition, seem'd to be entirely taken from me; and I firmly believed, that no humane Shape had ever set Foot upon that Place: Having now secur'd my Habitation, as I thought, fully to my Mind, I had a great Desire to make a more perfect Discovery of the Island, and to see what other Productions I might find, which I yet knew nothing of.

  我在荒岛上已有十个多月了,获救的可能性几乎等于零。我有充分理由相信,在我之前,从未有人上过这孤岛。现在,我已按自己的意愿安排好了住所,就很想进一步了解这座小岛,并看看岛上还有什么我尚未发现的物产。

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名著·鲁宾逊飘流记 - 第23节