名著·查太莱夫人的情人 - 第18节

　　但是你愿意我也得到我的快感吧，是不是？"她重复地说。

Oh, all right! I'm quite willing. But I'm darned if hanging on waiting for a woman to go off is much of a game for a man...' "

　　啊，算了！我很愿意的。但是一动不动地悬在那儿，等着女人享受，那决不是好玩的事哟。……"

This speech was one of the crucial blows of Connie's life. It killed something in her. She had not been so very keen on Michaelis; till he started it, she did not want him. It was as if she never positively wanted him. But once he had started her, it seemed only natural for her to come to her own crisis with him. Almost she had loved him for it...almost that night she loved him, and wanted to marry him.

　　这话是康妮有生以来所受到的最残酷的打击。她心里的什么东西被毁灭了。她并不怎样要蔑克；在她没有开头以前，她并不想要他。她好象从来没有真正地想要他。但是，他既然开头了，她觉得那是很自然的要使自己也从他那儿得到快感。为了这个，她几乎爱他了……那晚上，她差不多爱他了，而且想和他结婚了。

Perhaps instinctively he knew it, and that was why he had to bring down the whole show with a smash; the house of cards. Her whole sexual feeling for him, or for any man, collapsed that night. Her life fell apart from his as completely as if he had never existed.

　　也许他本能地知道这个，所以他才那样的粗野，而把一切、一切的海市蜃楼全都破坏了。所有她对他的性感，以至对任何男子的性感，在那晚上都崩毁了。她的生命和他的生命完全地分开了，好象他这个人是从来没有存在过似的。

And she went through the days drearily. There was nothing now but this empty treadmill of what Clifford called the integrated life, the long living together of two people, who are in the habit of being in the same house with one another.

　　她继续度着她毫无生气的日子。现在什么也没有了。只有那克利福所谓的完备生活的空壳子，那种两个人彼此习惯着在一个屋顶下面的长日漫漫的共同生涯。

　　空虚！接受这生命的庞大空虚好象便是生活的唯一目的了。所有那些忙碌的和重要的琐事，组成了空虚的全体！

Why don't men and women really like one another nowadays?' Connie asked Tommy Dukes, who was more or less her oracle. "

　　为什么我们现在，男人和女人都不真正相爱子？"康妮问着唐米·督克斯他多少象是她的问道之神。

Oh, but they do! I don't think since the human species was invented, there has ever been a time when men and women have liked one another as much as they do today. Genuine liking! Take myself. I really like women better than men; they are braver, one can be more frank with them.' "

　　啊，谁说他们不相爱！我相信自人类被创造以来，男女的相爱没有更甚于我们今日了，他们是真情相爱的，拿我们自己来说……我实在觉得女人比男人更可爱。她们的勇气比男人大，我们可以开诚布公地对待她们。"

Connie pondered this.

　　康妮沉思着

Ah, yes, but you never have anything to do with them!' she said. "

　　呵，是的，但是你从来就还没有和她们有过什么关系哟！"

　　我？那么我此刻正在做什么？我不是正和一位女人诚恳地谈着话吗？"

Yes, talking...' "

　　是的，谈着话……"

And what more could I do if you were a man, than talk perfectly sincerely to you?' "

　　假如你是一个男子，你想，除了和你诚恳地谈话以外，我还能和你怎样？"

Nothing perhaps. But a woman...' "

　　也许不能怎样，但是一个女人……"

A woman wants you to like her and talk to her, and at the same time love her and desire her; and it seems to me the two things are mutually exclusive.' "

　　一个女人要你去喜欢她，和她谈话，而同时又要你去爱她，追求她。我觉得这两件事是不能同时并行的。"

　　但是这两件事应该可以并行才是！"

No doubt water ought not to be so wet as it is; it overdoes it in wetness. But there it is! I like women and talk to them, and therefore I don't love them and desire them. The two things don't happen at the same time in me.' "

　　无疑地，水不应该这样湿才是呵，水未免太湿了。但是水就是这样湿的！我喜欢女人，和她们谈话，所以我就不爱她们，不追求她们。在我，这两件事是不能同时发生的。"

I think they ought to.' "

　　我觉得这两件事是应该可以同时发生的。"

All right. The fact that things ought to be something else than what they are, is not my department. "

　　好吧。但是事情才就是这样，若定要事情成为别样，这我可没有法子。"

Connie considered this. It isn't true,' she said. Men can love women and talk to them. I don't see how they can love them without talking, and being friendly and intimate. How can they?'

　　康妮默想着。"这不见得是真的，"她说，"男人是可以爱女人，并且和她们谈话的。我不明白男人怎么能够爱她们而不和她们谈话，不和她们亲热。他们怎么能够？"

　　晤，这个我可不知道。"他说，"为什么要一概而论呢？我只知道我自己是这样。我喜欢女人，但是我不追求她们，我喜欢和她们谈话，但是谈话虽然使我在某一种说法上和她们发生亲密，但是一点也不使我想和他们接吻。你看我就是这样！但是不要拿我当作一个一般的例子，也许我正是一个特殊的例子。我是一个喜欢女人但是不爱女人的男人之一，如果她们要迫我装模作样地讲爱情，或做出如胶似漆的样子，我还要恨她们呢。"

But doesn't it make you sad?' "

　　但是那不使你觉得悲哀吗？"

Why should it? Not a bit! I look at Charlie May, and the rest of the men who have affairs...No, I don't envy them a bit! If fate sent me a woman I wanted, well and good. Since I don't know any woman I want, and never see one...why, I presume I'm cold, and really like some women very much.' "

　　为什么要悲哀？一点也不！当我看见查里·梅和其他许多与女人有关系的男人时……不，我一点也不羡慕他们！如果命运送给我一个我能爱而追求的女人，那好极了。但是我从来就没有碰到过这样的女人……我想我是冷淡的；但是有些女人却是我非常喜欢的。"

Do you like me?' "

　　你喜欢我吗？"

Very much! And you see there's no question of kissing between us, is there?' "

　　很喜欢。而你可以看出，在我们之间是没有接吻的问题的，可不是吗？"

　　不错，"康妮说。"但是也许我们之间应该要有这问题吧？"

Why, in God's name? I like Clifford, but what would you say if I went and kissed him?' "

　　为什么，请问？我喜欢克利福，但是假如我走去抱吻他，你要作何感想？"

But isn't there a difference?' "

　　但是其间没有不同的地方么？"

Where does it lie, as far as we're concerned? We're all intelligent human beings, and the male and female business is in abeyance. Just in abeyance. How would you like me to start acting up like a continental male at this moment, and parading the sex thing?' "

　　不同的地方在哪里，拿我们来说吧？我们都是没有智慧的人类，男女的关系是放在度外的，放在度外的，如果我突然在此刻玩起那大陆上的男性的把戏，向你显示着性欲，你要觉得怎样？"

I should hate it.' "

　　那我一定要觉得可恨。"