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我的眼晴被蒙住了，而且闭了起来。旋转的黑暗飘浮着似乎包围了我，思绪滚滚而来犹如黑色的浊流。我自暴自弃，浑身松弛，百无聊赖，仿佛躺在一条大河干枯的河床上，我听见洪水从远山奔泻而来，我感觉到激流逼近了，爬起来吧，我没有意志，逃走吧，我又没有力气。我昏昏沉沉地躺着，渴望死去。有一个念头仍像生命那样在我内心搏动--上帝的怀念，并由此而产生了无言的祈祷。这些话在我没有阳光的内心往复徘徊，仿佛某些话该悄声倾吐出来，却又无力去表达它们。 "Be not far from me, for trouble is near: there is none to help."" 求你不要远离我，因为急难临近了，没有人帮助我。" It was near: and as I had lifted no petition to Heaven to avert it--as I had neither joined my hands, nor bent my knees, nor moved mylips--it came: in full heavy swing the torrent poured over me. Thewhole consciousness of my life lorn, my love lost, my hope quenched,my faith death-struck, swayed full and mighty above me in one sullenmass. That bitter hour cannot be described: in truth, "the waterscame into my soul; I sank in deep mire: I felt no standing; I cameinto deep waters; the floods overflowed me." 急难确实近了，而我并没有请求上天消灾灭祸--我既没有合上双手，没有屈膝，也没有张嘴--急难降临了，洪流滚滚而来把我吞没。我意识到我的生活十分狐单，我的爱情己经失去，我的希望已被浇灭，我的信心受了致命的一击，这整个想法犹如-个色彩单调的块状物，在我头顶有力地大幅度摆动着。这痛苦的时刻不堪描述。真是"水灌进了我的灵魂，我陷入了深深的泥淖，觉得无处立足，坠进深渊，激流把我淹没了。" Some time in the afternoon I raised my head, and looking round andseeing the western sun gilding the sign of its decline on the wall,I asked, "What am I to do?" 下午某个时候，我抬起头来，向四周瞧了瞧，看见西沉的太阳正在墙上涂上金色的落日印记，我问道，"我该怎么办？" But the answer my mind gave--"Leave Thornfield at once"--was soprompt, so dread, that I stopped my ears. I said I could not bearsuch words now. "That I am not Edward Rochester's bride is theleast part of my woe," I alleged: "that I have wakened out of mostglorious dreams, and found them all void and vain, is a horror Icould bear and master; but that I must leave him decidedly,instantly, entirely, is intolerable. I cannot do it." 我心灵的回答一一"立即离开桑菲尔德"--是那么及时，又那么可怕，我立即捂住了耳朵。我说，这些话我现在可受不了。"我不当爱德华．罗切斯特先生的新娘，是我痛苦中最小的一部份，"我断言，"我从一场美梦中醒来，发现全是竹篮打水一场空，这种恐惧我既能忍受，也能克服。不过要我义无反顾地马上离他而去却让我受不了，我不能这么做。" 
但是，我内心的另一个声音却认为我能这样做，而且预言我应当这么做。我斟酌着这个决定，希望自己软弱些，以躲避已经为我铺下的可怕的痛苦道路。而良心己变成暴君，抓住激情的喉咙，嘲弄地告诉她，她那美丽的脚已经陷入了泥沼，还发誓要用铁臂把她推入深不可测的痛苦深渊。 "Let me be torn away," then I cried. "Let another help me!"" 那么把我拉走吧！"我嚷道，"让别人来帮助我！" "No; you shall tear yourself away, none shall help you: you shallyourself pluck out your right eye; yourself cut off your right hand:your heart shall be the victim, and you the priest to transfix it."" 不，你得自己挣脱，没有人帮助你。你自己得剜出你的右眼；砍下你的右手，把你的心作为祭品而且要由你这位祭司把它刺穿。 I rose up suddenly, terror-struck at the solitude which so ruthlessa judge haunted,--at the silence which so awful a voice filled. Myhead swam as I stood erect. I perceived that I was sickening fromexcitement and inanition; neither meat nor drink had passed my lipsthat day, for I had taken no breakfast. And, with a strange pang, Inow reflected that, long as I had been shut up here, no message hadbeen sent to ask how I was, or to invite me to come down: not evenlittle Adele had tapped at the door; not even Mrs. Fairfax hadsought me. "Friends always forget those whom fortune forsakes," Imurmured, as I undrew the bolt and passed out. I stumbled over anobstacle: my head was still dizzy, my sight was dim, and my limbswere feeble. I could not soon recover myself. I fell, but not onto the ground: an outstretched arm caught me. I looked up--I wassupported by Mr. Rochester, who sat in a chair across my chamberthreshold. 我蓦地站了起来，被如此无情的法官所铸就的孤独，被充斥着如此可怕声音的寂静吓坏了。我站直时只觉得脑袋发晕。我明白自己由于激动和缺乏营养而感到不舒服。那天我没有吃早饭，肉和饮料都没有进过嘴。带着一种莫名的痛苦，我忽然回想起来，尽管我已在这里关了很久，但没有人带口信来问问我怎么样了，或者邀请我下楼去，甚至连阿黛勒也没有来敲我的门，费尔法克斯太太也没有来找我。"朋友们总是忘记那些被命运所抛弃的人，"我咕哝着，一面拉开门闩，走了出去。我在一个什么东西上绊了一下。因为我依然头脑发晕，视觉模糊，四肢无力，所以无法立刻控制住自己。我跌倒了，但没有倒在地上，一只伸出的手抓住了我。我抬起头来。--罗切斯特先生扶着我，他坐在我房门口的一把椅子上。 "You come out at last," he said. "Well, I have been waiting for youlong, and listening: yet not one movement have I heard, nor onesob: five minutes more of that death-like hush, and I should haveforced the lock like a burglar. So you shun me?--you shut yourselfup and grieve alone! I would rather you had come and upbraided mewith vehemence. You are passionate. I expected a scene of somekind. I was prepared for the hot rain of tears; only I wanted themto be shed on my breast: now a senseless floor has received them,or your drenched handkerchief. But I err: you have not wept atall! I see a white cheek and a faded eye, but no trace of tears. Isuppose, then, your heart has been weeping blood?"" 你终于出来了，"他说，"是呀，我已经等了你很久了，而且细听着，但既没有听到一点动静，也没有听到一声哭泣，再过五分钟那么死一般的沉寂，我可要像盗贼那样破门而入了。看来，你避开我？--你把自己关起来，独自伤心？我倒情愿你厉声责备我。你易动感情，因此我估计会大闹一场。我准备你热泪如雨，只不过希望它落在我胸膛上，而现在，没有知觉的地板，或是你湿透了的手帕，接受了你的眼泪。可是我错了，你根本没有哭！我看到了白白的脸颊，暗淡的眼睛，却没有泪痕。那么我猜想，你的心一定哭泣着在流血？ 
听着，简，没有一句责备的话吗？没有尖刻、辛辣的言词？没有挫伤感情或者打击热情的字眼？你静静地坐在我让你坐的地方，无精打采地看着我。 "Jane, I never meant to wound you thus. If the man who had but onelittle ewe lamb that was dear to him as a daughter, that ate of hisbread and drank of his cup, and lay in his bosom, had by somemistake slaughtered it at the shambles, he would not have rued hisbloody blunder more than I now rue mine. Will you ever forgive me?"" 简，我决不想这么伤害你，要是某人有一头亲如女儿的母羊，吃他的面包，饮用他的杯子，躺在他怀抱里，而由于某种疏忽，在屠场里宰了它，他对血的错误的悔恨决不会超过我现在的悔恨，你能宽恕我吗？" Reader, I forgave him at the moment and on the spot. There was suchdeep remorse in his eye, such true pity in his tone, such manlyenergy in his manner; and besides, there was such unchanged love inhis whole look and mien--I forgave him all: yet not in words, notoutwardly; only at my heart's core. 读者！--我当时当地就宽恕了他。他的目光隐含着那么深沉的忏悔；语调里透出这样真实的憾意，举止中富有如此男子气的活力。此外，他的整个神态和风度中流露出那么矢志不移的爱情-一我全都宽恕了他，不过没有诉诸语言，没有表露出来，而只是掩藏在心底里。 "You know I am a scoundrel, Jane?" ere long he inquired wistfully--wondering, I suppose, at my continued silence and tameness, theresult rather of weakness than of will." 你知道我是个恶棍吗，简？"不久他若有所思地问--我想是对我继续缄默令神而感到纳闷，我那种心情是软弱而不是意志力的表现。 "Yes, sir."" 是的，先生。" 
那就直截了当毫不留情地告诉我吧--别姑息我，" "I cannot: I am tired and sick. I want some water." " 我不能，我既疲倦又不舒服。我想喝点儿水。" He heaved asort of shuddering sigh, and taking me in his arms, carried medownstairs. At first I did not know to what room he had borne me;all was cloudy to my glazed sight: presently I felt the revivingwarmth of a fire; for, summer as it was, I had become icy cold in mychamber. He put wine to my lips; I tasted it and revived; then Iate something he offered me, and was soon myself. I was in thelibrary--sitting in his chair--he was quite near. "If I could goout of life now, without too sharp a pang, it would be well for me,"I thought; "then I should not have to make the effort of cracking myheart-strings in rending them from among Mr. Rochester's. I mustleave him, it appears. I do not want to leave him--I cannot leavehim." 他颤抖着叹了口气，把我抱在怀里下楼去了。起初我不知道他要把我抱到哪个房间去，在我呆滞的目光中一切都朦朦胧胧。很快我觉得一团温暖的火又回到了我身上，因为虽然时令正是夏天，我在自己的房间里早已浑身冰凉。他把酒送到我嘴里，我尝了一尝，缓过了神来。随后我吃了些他拿来的东西，于是很快便恢复过来了。我在图书室里--坐在他的椅子上一-他就在我旁边。"要是我现在就毫无痛苦地结束生命，那倒是再好没有了。"我想，"那样我就不必狠心绷断自己的心弦，以中止同罗切斯特先生心灵上的联系。后来我得离开他。我不想离开他--我不能离开他。" "How are you now, Jane?"" 你现在好吗，简？" "Much better, sir; I shall be well soon."" 好多了，先生。很快就会好的。" 
再尝一下酒，简。" I obeyed him; then he put the glass on the table, stood before me,and looked at me attentively. Suddenly he turned away, with aninarticulate exclamation, full of passionate emotion of some kind;he walked fast through the room and came back; he stooped towards meas if to kiss me; but I remembered caresses were now forbidden. Iturned my face away and put his aside. 我照他的话做了。随后他把酒杯放在桌上，站到我面前，专注地看着我。突然他转过身来，充满激情含糊不清地叫了一声，快步走过房间，又折回来，朝我弯下身子，像是要吻我，但我记起现在已不允许抚爱了。我转过头去，推开了他的脸。
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