目 录 上一节 下一节 
什么?一一这是怎么回事?"他急忙嚷道。"呵,我知道!你不想吻伯莎.梅森的丈夫?你认为我的怀里已经有人,我的拥抱已被占有?" "At any rate, there is neither room nor claim for me, sir."" 无论怎么说,已没有我的份和我的容身之地了,先生。" "Why, Jane? I will spare you the trouble of much talking; I willanswer for you--Because I have a wife already, you would reply.--Iguess rightly?"" 为什么,简?我来免去你多费口舌的麻烦,让我替你回答--因为我已经有了-个妻子,你会回答--我猜得对吗?" "Yes."" 是的。" "If you think so, you must have a strange opinion of me; you mustregard me as a plotting profligate--a base and low rake who has beensimulating disinterested love in order to draw you into a snaredeliberately laid, and strip you of honour and rob you of self-respect. What do you say to that? I see you can say nothing in thefirst place, you are faint still, and have enough to do to draw yourbreath; in the second place, you cannot yet accustom yourself toaccuse and revile me, and besides, the flood-gates of tears areopened, and they would rush out if you spoke much; and you have nodesire to expostulate, to upbraid, to make a scene: you arethinking how TO ACT--TALKING you consider is of no use. I know you--I am on my guard."" 要是你这样想,你准对我抱有成见了,你一定认为我是一个诡计多端的浪子--低俗下贱的恶棍,煽起没有真情的爱,把你拉进预先设置好的圈套,剥夺你的名誉,打消你的自尊。你对这有什么看法?我看你无话可说,首先你身子依然虚弱,还得花好些工夫才能喘过气来;其次,你还不习惯于指控我,辱骂我;此外眼泪的闸门大开着,要是你说得太多,泪水会奔涌而出,你没有心思来劝说,来责备,来大闹一场。你在思索着怎样来行动--你认为空谈无济于事。我知道你-一我戒备着。" 
先生,我不想与你作对,"我说,我那发抖的嗓音警告我要把话缩短。 "Not in your sense of the word, but in mine you are scheming todestroy me. You have as good as said that I am a married man--as amarried man you will shun me, keep out of my way: just now you haverefused to kiss me. You intend to make yourself a complete strangerto me: to live under this roof only as Adele's governess; if ever Isay a friendly word to you, if ever a friendly feeling inclines youagain to me, you will say,--'That man had nearly made me hismistress: I must be ice and rock to him;' and ice and rock you willaccordingly become."" 不按你理解的字义而按我理解的字义来说,你正谋划着毁灭我。你等于已经说,我是一个已婚男子--正因为这样,你躲着我,避开我。刚才你已拒绝吻我,你想跟我完全成为陌路人,只不过作为阿黛勒的家庭教师住在这座房子里。要是我对你说了句友好的话,要是一种友好的感情使你再次向着我,你会说'那个人差点让我成了他的情妇,我必须对他冷若冰霜',于是你便真的冷若冰霜了。" I cleared and steadied my voice to reply: "All is changed about me,sir; I must change too--there is no doubt of that; and to avoidfluctuations of feeling, and continual combats with recollectionsand associations, there is only one way--Adele must have a newgoverness, sir." 我清了清喉咙稳住了嗓子回答他,"我周围的一切都改变了,先生。我也必须改变--这是毫无疑问的,为了避免感情的波动,免得不断抵制回忆和联想,那就只有一个办法--阿黛勒得另请家庭教师,先生。" "Oh, Adele will go to school--I have settled that already; nor do Imean to torment you with the hideous associations and recollectionsof Thornfield Hall--this accursed place--this tent of Achan--thisinsolent vault, offering the ghastliness of living death to thelight of the open sky--this narrow stone hell, with its one realfiend, worse than a legion of such as we imagine. Jane, you shallnot stay here, nor will I. I was wrong ever to bring you toThornfield Hall, knowing as I did how it was haunted. I chargedthem to conceal from you, before I ever saw you, all knowledge ofthe curse of the place; merely because I feared Adele never wouldhave a governess to stay if she knew with what inmate she washoused, and my plans would not permit me to remove the maniacelsewhere--though I possess an old house, Ferndean Manor, even moreretired and hidden than this, where I could have lodged her safelyenough, had not a scruple about the unhealthiness of the situation,in the heart of a wood, made my conscience recoil from thearrangement. Probably those damp walls would soon have eased me ofher charge: but to each villain his own vice; and mine is not atendency to indirect assassination, even of what I most hate." 噢,阿黛勒要上学去--我已作了安排。我也无意拿桑菲尔德府可怕的联想和回忆来折磨你一-这是个可诅咒的地方--这个亚干的营帐--这个傲慢的墓穴,向着明亮开阔的天空,显现出生不如死的鬼相--这个狭窄的石头地狱,一个真正的魔鬼,抵得上我们想象中的一大批--简,你不要呆在这儿,我也不呆。我明知道桑菲尔德府鬼影憧憧,却把你带到这儿来,这是我的过错。我还没有见你就已责令他们把这个地方的祸害都瞒着你,只是因为我怕你一知道与谁同住在一个屋檐下,阿黛勒就找不到肯呆在这里的女教师了。而我的计划又不允许我把这疯子迁往别的地方,一-尽管我拥有一个比这里更幽静,更隐蔽的老房子,叫做芬丁庄园。要不是考虑到那里地处森林中心,环境很不卫生,我良心上羞于作这样的安排,我是很可以让她安安稳稳地住在那儿的。那里潮湿的墙壁可能会很快从我肩上卸下她这个包袱。不过恶棍种种,恶行各有不同,我的并不在于间接谋杀,即便是对付对我恨之入骨的人。 "Concealing the mad-woman's neighbourhood from you, however, wassomething like covering a child with a cloak and laying it down neara upas-tree: that demon's vicinage is poisoned, and always was.But I'll shut up Thornfield Hall: I'll nail up the front door andboard the lower windows: I'll give Mrs. Poole two hundred a year tolive here with MY WIFE, as you term that fearful hag: Grace will domuch for money, and she shall have her son, the keeper at GrimsbyRetreat, to bear her company and be at hand to give her aid in theparoxysms, when MY WIFE is prompted by her familiar to burn peoplein their beds at night, to stab them, to bite their flesh from theirbones, and so on--"" 然而,把疯女人的住处瞒着你,不过是像用斗篷把一个孩子盖起来,把它放在一棵箭毒树旁边,那魔鬼把四周都毒化了,而只毒气不散,不过我将关闭桑菲尔德府,我要用钉子封住前门,用板条盖没矮窗。我要给普尔太太二百英镑一年,让她同我的妻子一-你称之为可怕的女巫,一起生活。只要给钱,格雷斯愿意干很多事,而且她可以让她在格里姆斯比收容所看门的儿子来作伴,我的妻子发作的时候,譬如受妖精的启发要把人们夜晚烧死在床上,用刀刺他们,从骨头上把肉咬下来的时候,格雷斯身边好歹也有个帮手。" 
先生,"我打断他说,"对那个不幸的女人来说,你实在冷酷无情。你一谈起她就恨恨地--势不两立。那很残酷一一她发疯也是身不由己的。" "Jane, my little darling (so I will call you, for so you are), youdon't know what you are talking about; you misjudge me again: it isnot because she is mad I hate her. If you were mad, do you think Ishould hate you?"" 简,我的小宝贝,(我会这么叫你,因为你确实是这样),你不了解你谈的事儿,你又错怪我了。我恨她并不是因为她发了疯。要是你疯了,你想我会恨你吗?" "I do indeed, sir."" 我想你会的,先生。" "Then you are mistaken, and you know nothing about me, and nothingabout the sort of love of which I am capable. Every atom of yourflesh is as dear to me as my own: in pain and sickness it wouldstill be dear. Your mind is my treasure, and if it were broken, itwould be my treasure still: if you raved, my arms should confineyou, and not a strait waistcoat--your grasp, even in fury, wouldhave a charm for me: if you flew at me as wildly as that woman didthis morning, I should receive you in an embrace, at least as fondas it would be restrictive. I should not shrink from you withdisgust as I did from her: in your quiet moments you should have nowatcher and no nurse but me; and I could hang over you with untiringtenderness, though you gave me no smile in return; and never wearyof gazing into your eyes, though they had no longer a ray ofrecognition for me.--But why do I follow that train of ideas? I wastalking of removing you from Thornfield. All, you know, is preparedfor prompt departure: to-morrow you shall go. I only ask you toendure one more night under this roof, Jane; and then, farewell toits miseries and terrors for ever! I have a place to repair to,which will be a secure sanctuary from hateful reminiscences, fromunwelcome intrusion--even from falsehood and slander."" 那你错了。你一点也不了解我,一点也不了解我会怎样地爱。你身上每一丁点皮肉如同我自己身上的一样,对我来说都非常宝贵,病痛之时也一样如此。你的脑袋是我的宝贝,要是出了毛病,也照样是我的宝贝。要是你呓语连篇,我的胳膊会围住你,而不是紧身马甲--即使在动怒的时候你乱抓乱拉,对我说来也是迷人的。要是你像今天早上的那个女人那样疯狂向我扑来,我会用拥抱接受你,至少既起到制止的作用,又显出抚爱来。我不会像厌恶地避开她一样避开你,在你安静的时刻,你身边没有监护人,没有护士,只有我。我会带着不倦的温柔体贴,在你身边走动,尽管你不会对我报之以微笑。我会永不厌腻地盯着你的眼睛,尽管那双眼睛已不再射出一缕确认我的光芒。--但是我干嘛要顺着那样的思路去想呢?我刚谈着让你离开桑菲尔德。你知道,一切都准备好了,让你立刻离开这里,明天你就走。我只不过求你在这间屋于里再忍受一个晚上,简,随后就向它的痛苦和恐怖诀别:我自有地方可去,那会是个安全的避难所,躲开可憎的回忆、不受欢迎的干扰--甚至还有欺诈和诽谤。" "And take Adele with you, sir," I interrupted; "she will be acompanion for you."" 带着阿黛勒走吧,先生,"我插嘴说,"你也有她可以作伴了。" 
你这是什么意思,简?我已告诉了你,我要送阿黛勒上学"我何必要一个孩子作伴?何况又不是我的孩子一-一个法国舞女的的杂种。你干嘛把我跟她缠在一起?我说,你为什么把阿黛勒派给我作伴?" "You spoke of a retirement, sir; and retirement and solitude aredull: too dull for you."" 你谈起了隐退,先生,而隐退和独处是乏味的,对你来说太乏味了。" "Solitude! solitude!" he reiterated with irritation. "I see I mustcome to an explanation. I don't know what sphynx-like expression isforming in your countenance. You are to share my solitude. Do youunderstand?"" 独处!独处!"他焦躁地重复了一遍。"我看我得作个解释。我不知道你的脸上正露出什么令人费解的表情。你也同我一样会独处,你知道吗?" I shook my head: it required a degree of courage, excited as he wasbecoming, even to risk that mute sign of dissent. He had beenwalking fast about the room, and he stopped, as if suddenly rootedto one spot. He looked at me long and hard: I turned my eyes fromhim, fixed them on the fire, and tried to assume and maintain aquiet, collected aspect. 我摇了摇头。在他那么激动起来的时候,即使是冒险做个表示异议的暗号,也需要有点勇气。他在房间里飞快地走动着,随后停了下来,仿佛猛地在原地生了根似的,狠狠地打量了我半天。我把目光从他身上转开,聚集在火炉上,而且竭力摆出安宁、镇静的姿态。
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