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你听说过我的父亲是个贪得无厌的人吗？" "I have understood something to that effect."" 我大致了解一些。" "Well, Jane, being so, it was his resolution to keep the propertytogether; he could not bear the idea of dividing his estate andleaving me a fair portion: all, he resolved, should go to mybrother, Rowland. Yet as little could he endure that a son of hisshould be a poor man. I must be provided for by a wealthy marriage.He sought me a partner betimes. Mr. Mason, a West India planter andmerchant, was his old acquaintance. He was certain his possessionswere real and vast: he made inquiries. Mr. Mason, he found, had ason and daughter; and he learned from him that he could and wouldgive the latter a fortune of thirty thousand pounds: that sufficed.When I left college, I was sent out to Jamaica, to espouse a bridealready courted for me. My father said nothing about her money; buthe told me Miss Mason was the boast of Spanish Town for her beauty:and this was no lie. I found her a fine woman, in the style ofBlanche Ingram: tall, dark, and majestic. Her family wished tosecure me because I was of a good race; and so did she. They showedher to me in parties, splendidly dressed. I seldom saw her alone,and had very little private conversation with her. She flatteredme, and lavishly displayed for my pleasure her charms andaccomplishments. All the men in her circle seemed to admire her andenvy me. I was dazzled, stimulated: my senses were excited; andbeing ignorant, raw, and inexperienced, I thought I loved her.There is no folly so besotted that the idiotic rivalries of society,the prurience, the rashness, the blindness of youth, will not hurrya man to its commission. Her relatives encouraged me; competitorspiqued me; she allured me: a marriage was achieved almost before Iknew where I was. Oh, I have no respect for myself when I think ofthat act!--an agony of inward contempt masters me. I never loved, Inever esteemed, I did not even know her. I was not sure of theexistence of one virtue in her nature: I had marked neithermodesty, nor benevolence, nor candour, nor refinement in her mind ormanners--and, I married her:- gross, grovelling, mole-eyed blockheadthat I was! With less sin I might have--But let me remember to whomI am speaking."" 好吧，简，出于贪婪，我父亲决心把他的财产合在一起，而不能容忍把它分割，留给我相当一部分。他决定一切都归我哥哥罗兰，然而也不忍心我这个儿子成为穷光蛋，还得通过一桩富有的婚事解决我的生计。不久之后他替我找了个伴侣。他有一个叫梅森先生的老相识，是西印度的种植园主和商人。他作了调查，肯定梅森先生家业很大。他发现梅森先生有一双儿女，还知道他能够，也愿意给他的女儿三万英镑的财产，那已经足够了。我一离开大学就被送往牙买加，跟一个已经替我求了爱的新娘成婚。我的父亲只字不提她的钱，却告诉我在西班牙城梅森小姐有倾城之貌，这倒不假。她是个美人，有布兰奇．英格拉姆的派头，身材高大，皮肤黝黑，雍容华贵。她家里也希望把我弄到手，因为我身世不错，和她一样。他们把她带到聚会上给我看，打扮得花枝招展。我难得单独见她，也很少同她私下交谈。她恭维我，还故意卖弄姿色和才艺来讨好我。她圈子里的男人似乎都被她所倾倒，同时也羡慕我，我被弄得眼花缭乱，激动不已。我的感官被刺激起来了，由于幼稚无知，没有经验，以为自己爱上了她。社交场中的愚蠢角逐、年青人的好色、鲁莽和盲目，会使人什么糊里糊涂的蠢事都干得出来。她的亲戚们怂恿我；情敌们激怒我；她来勾引我。于是我还几乎不知道是怎么回事儿，婚事就定了。呵一-一想起这种行为我便失去了自尊！一-我被内心一种自我鄙视的痛苦所压倒，我从来没有爱过她，敬重过她，甚至也不了解她。她天性中有没有一种美德我都没有把握。在她的内心或举止中，我既没有看到谦逊和仁慈，也没有看到坦诚和高雅。而我娶了她-一我是多么粗俗，多么没有骨气！真是个有眼无珠的大傻瓜！要是我没有那么大的过失，也许我早就--不过还是让我记住我在同谁说话。 "My bride's mother I had never seen: I understood she was dead.The honeymoon over, I learned my mistake; she was only mad, and shutup in a lunatic asylum. There was a younger brother, too--acomplete dumb idiot. The elder one, whom you have seen (and whom Icannot hate, whilst I abhor all his kindred, because he has somegrains of affection in his feeble mind, shown in the continuedinterest he takes in his wretched sister, and also in a dog-likeattachment he once bore me), will probably be in the same state oneday. My father and my brother Rowland knew all this; but theythought only of the thirty thousand pounds, and joined in the plotagainst me."" 新娘的母亲我从来没有见过，我以为她死了。但蜜月一过，我便发现自己搞错了。她不过是疯了，被关在疯人院里。我妻子还有个弟弟，是个不会说话的白痴。你所见到的大弟（尽管我讨厌他的亲人，却并不恨他，因为在他软弱的灵魂中，还有许多爱心，表现在他对可怜的姐姐一直很关心，以及对我一度显出狗一般的依恋）有一天很可能也会落到这个地步。我父亲和我哥哥罗兰对这些情况都知道，但他们只想到三万英镑，并且狼狈为奸坑害我。 "These were vile discoveries; but except for the treachery ofconcealment, I should have made them no subject of reproach to mywife, even when I found her nature wholly alien to mine, her tastesobnoxious to me, her cast of mind common, low, narrow, andsingularly incapable of being led to anything higher, expanded toanything larger--when I found that I could not pass a singleevening, nor even a single hour of the day with her in comfort; thatkindly conversation could not be sustained between us, becausewhatever topic I started, immediately received from her a turn atonce coarse and trite, perverse and imbecile--when I perceived thatI should never have a quiet or settled household, because no servantwould bear the continued outbreaks of her violent and unreasonabletemper, or the vexations of her absurd, contradictory, exactingorders--even then I restrained myself: I eschewed upbraiding, Icurtailed remonstrance; I tried to devour my repentance and disgustin secret; I repressed the deep antipathy I felt." 这都是些丑恶的发现，但是，除了隐瞒实情的欺诈行为，我不应当把这些都怪罪于我的妻子。尽管我发现她的个性与我格格不入，她的趣味使我感到厌恶，她的气质平庸、低下、狭隘，完全不可能向更高处引导，向更广处发展；我发现无法同她舒舒畅畅地度过一个晚上，甚至一个小时。我们之间没有真诚的对话，因为-谈任何话题，马上会得到她既粗俗又陈腐，即怪僻又愚蠢的呼应--我发觉自己决不会有一个清静安定的家，因为没有一个仆人能忍受她不断发作暴烈无理的脾性，能忍受她荒唐、矛盾和苛刻的命令所带来的烦恼一-即使那样，我也克制住了。我避免责备，减少规劝，悄悄地吞下了自己的悔恨和厌恶。我抑制住了自己的反感。 
简，我不想用讨厌的细节来打扰你了，我要说的话可以用几句激烈的话来表达。我跟那个女人在楼上住了四年，在那之前她折磨得我够呛。她的性格成熟了，并可怕地急剧发展；她的劣迹层出不穷，而且那么严重，只有使用残暴的手段才能加以制止，而我又不忍心，她的智力那么弱一-而她的冲动又何等之强呵！那些冲动给我造成了多么可怕的灾祸！伯莎．梅森--一个声名狼藉的母亲的真正的女儿--把我拉进了堕落骇人的痛苦深渊。一个男人同一个既放纵又鄙俗的妻子结合，这必定是在劫难逃的。 "My brother in the interval was dead, and at the end of the fouryears my father died too. I was rich enough now--yet poor tohideous indigence: a nature the most gross, impure, depraved I eversaw, was associated with mine, and called by the law and by societya part of me. And I could not rid myself of it by any legalproceedings: for the doctors now discovered that MY WIFE was mad--her excesses had prematurely developed the germs of insanity. Jane,you don't like my narrative; you look almost sick--shall I defer therest to another day?"" 在这期间我的哥哥死了，四年之后我父亲相继去世。从此我够富有的了--同时又穷得可怕。我所见过的最粗俗、最肮脏、最下贱的属性同我联系在一起，被法律和社会称作我的一部分。而我开法通过任何法律程序加以摆脱，因为这时医生们发觉我的妻子疯了--她的放肆已经使发疯的种子早熟一-简，你不喜欢我的叙述，你看上去几乎很厌恶一-其余的话是不是改日再谈？" "No, sir, finish it now; I pity you--I do earnestly pity you."" 不，先生，现在就讲完它。我怜悯你一-我真诚地怜悯你。" "Pity, Jane, from some people is a noxious and insulting sort oftribute, which one is justified in hurling back in the teeth ofthose who offer it; but that is the sort of pity native to callous,selfish hearts; it is a hybrid, egotistical pain at hearing of woes,crossed with ignorant contempt for those who have endured them. Butthat is not your pity, Jane; it is not the feeling of which yourwhole face is full at this moment--with which your eyes are nowalmost overflowing--with which your heart is heaving--with whichyour hand is trembling in mine. Your pity, my darling, is thesuffering mother of love: its anguish is the very natal pang of thedivine passion. I accept it, Jane; let the daughter have freeadvent--my arms wait to receive her."" 怜悯，这个词出自某些人之口时，简，是讨厌而带有污辱性的，完全有理由把它奉还给说出来的人。不过那是内心自私无情的人的怜悯，这是听到灾祸以后所产生的以自我为中心的痛苦，混杂着对受害者的盲目鄙视。但这不是你的怜悯，简，此刻你满脸透出的不是这种感情。--此刻你眼睛里洋溢着的--你内心搏动着的--使你的手颤抖的是另一种感情。我的宝贝，你的怜悯是爱的痛苦母亲，它的痛苦是神圣的热恋出世时的阵痛。我接受了，简！让那女儿自由地降生吧--我的怀抱已等待着接纳她了。" "Now, sir, proceed; what did you do when you found she was mad?"" 好，先生，说下去，你发现她疯了以后怎么办呢？" 
简--我到了绝望的边缘，能把我和深渊隔开的就只剩自尊了。在世人的眼里，无疑我已是名誉扫地，但我决心在自己眼里保持清白--我终于拒绝接受她的罪孽的感染，挣脱了同她神经缺陷的联系。但社会依然把我的名字，我本人和她捆在一起，我仍旧天天看到她，听到她。她呼吸的一部分（呸！）混杂在我呼吸的空气中。此外，我还记得我曾是她的丈夫一一对我来说这种联想过去和现在都有说不出的憎恶。而且我知道，只要她还活着，我就永远不能成为另一个更好的妻子的丈夫。尽管她比我大五岁（她的家庭和她的父亲甚至在她年龄细节上也骗了我），她很可能跟我活得一样长，因为她虽然头脑衰弱，但体魄强健。于是在二十六岁的年纪上，我便全然无望了。 "One night I had been awakened by her yells--(since the medical menhad pronounced her mad, she had, of course, been shut up)--it was afiery West Indian night; one of the description that frequentlyprecede the hurricanes of those climates. Being unable to sleep inbed, I got up and opened the window. The air was like sulphur-steams--I could find no refreshment anywhere. Mosquitoes camebuzzing in and hummed sullenly round the room; the sea, which Icould hear from thence, rumbled dull like an earthquake--blackclouds were casting up over it; the moon was setting in the waves,broad and red, like a hot cannon-ball--she threw her last bloodyglance over a world quivering with the ferment of tempest. I wasphysically influenced by the atmosphere and scene, and my ears werefilled with the curses the maniac still shrieked out; wherein shemomentarily mingled my name with such a tone of demon-hate, withsuch language!--no professed harlot ever had a fouler vocabularythan she: though two rooms off, I heard every word--the thinpartitions of the West India house opposing but slight obstructionto her wolfish cries." 一天夜里我被她的叫喊惊醒了（自从医生宣布她疯了以后，她当然是被关起来了）一一那是西印度群岛火燎似的夜晚，这种天气常常是飓风到来的前奏。我难以入睡，便爬起来开了窗。空气像含硫的蒸气-一到处都让人提不起神来。蚊子嗡嗡的飞进来，阴沉地在房间里打转。在那儿我能听到大海之声，像地震一般沉闷地隆隆响着。黑云在大海上空集结，月亮沉落在宽阔的红色波浪上，像一个滚烫的炮弹一-向颤抖着正酝酿风暴的海洋，投去血色的目光。我确实深受这种气氛和景色的感染，而我的耳朵却充斥着疯子尖叫着的咒骂声。咒骂中夹杂着我的名字，语调里那么充满仇恨，语言又那么肮脏！一-没有一个以卖淫为业的妓女，会使用比她更污秽的字眼，尽管隔了两个房间，我每个字都听得清清楚楚--西印度群岛薄薄的隔板丝毫挡不住她狼一般的嚎叫。
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