目 录 上一节 下一节 
嗯？"他再次停下时我说一-"说下去。" He looked at me before he proceeded: indeed, he seemed leisurely toread my face, as if its features and lines were characters on apage. The conclusions drawn from this scrutiny he partiallyexpressed in his succeeding observations. 他还没有说下去便又瞧了瞧我，似乎悠闲地读着我的面孔，仿佛它的五官和线条是一页书上的人物。他仔细打量后所得出的结论，部份地表露在后来的谈话中。 "I believe you will accept the post I offer you," said he, "and holdit for a while: not permanently, though: any more than I couldpermanently keep the narrow and narrowing--the tranquil, hiddenoffice of English country incumbent; for in your nature is an alloyas detrimental to repose as that in mine, though of a differentkind."" 我相信你会接受我提供的职位，"他说，"而且会干一会儿，尽管不会永久干下去，就像我不会永久担任英国乡村牧师这狭隘，使人越来越狭隘--平静而神秘的职位。因为你的性格也像我的一样，有一种不安分的东西，尽管本质上有所区别。" "Do explain," I urged, when he halted once more." 请务必解释一下，"他再次停下来时我催促道。 "I will; and you shall hear how poor the proposal is,--how trivial--how cramping. I shall not stay long at Morton, now that my fatheris dead, and that I am my own master. I shall leave the placeprobably in the course of a twelve-month; but while I do stay, Iwill exert myself to the utmost for its improvement. Morton, when Icame to it two years ago, had no school: the children of the poorwere excluded from every hope of progress. I established one forboys: I mean now to open a second school for girls. I have hired abuilding for the purpose, with a cottage of two rooms attached to itfor the mistress's house. Her salary will be thirty pounds a year:her house is already furnished, very simply, but sufficiently, bythe kindness of a lady, Miss Oliver; the only daughter of the solerich man in my parish--Mr. Oliver, the proprietor of a needle-factory and iron-foundry in the valley. The same lady pays for theeducation and clothing of an orphan from the workhouse, on conditionthat she shall aid the mistress in such menial offices connectedwith her own house and the school as her occupation of teaching willprevent her having time to discharge in person. Will you be thismistress?"" 一定。你会听到这工作多么可怜--多么琐碎--多么束缚人。我父亲已去世，我自己也就独立了，所以我不会在莫尔顿久待。我很可能在一年之内离开这个地方，但我还在时，我要竭尽全力使它有所改进。两年前我来到时，莫尔顿没有学校，穷人的孩子都被排除在一切渴求上进的希望之外，我为男孩子们建立了一所学校。现在我有意为女孩子开设第二所学校。我已租了一幢楼用于这个目的，附带两间破屋作为女教师的住房。她的工资为三十镑一年，她的房子已安上家具，虽然简陋，但已够用，那是奥利弗小姐做的好事，她是我教区内唯一的一位富人奥利弗先生的独生女，奥利弗先生是山谷中制针厂和铁铸厂的业主。这位女士还为一个从济贫院来的孤儿付教育费和服装费，条件是这位孤儿得协助教师，干些跟她住所和学校有关的琐碎事务，因为教学工作不允许女教师亲自来过问。你愿意做这样一位教师吗？" 
他的问题问得有些匆忙。他似乎估计这个建议多半会遭到愤怒的，或者至少轻蔑的拒绝。他虽然可以作些猜测，但不完全了解我的思想和感情，无法判断我会怎样看待自己的命运。说实在，这工作很低下--但提供了住所，而我需要一个安全的避难所。这工作沉闷乏味-一但比之富人家庭的女教师，它却是无拘无束的。而替陌生人操劳的恐惧象铁钳一样夹住了我的心。这个工作并不丢脸--不是不值得一一精神上也并不低下，我下定了决心。 "I thank you for the proposal, Mr. Rivers, and I accept it with allmy heart."" 谢谢你的建议，里弗斯先生。我欣然接受这份工作。" "But you comprehend me?" he said. "It is a village school: yourscholars will be only poor girls--cottagers' children--at the best,farmers' daughters. Knitting, sewing, reading, writing, ciphering,will be all you will have to teach. What will you do with youraccomplishments? What, with the largest portion of your mind--sentiments--tastes?"" 可是你理解我的意思吗？"他说。"这是一所乡村学校。你的学生都只是穷苦女孩--茅屋里的孩子--至多是农夫的女儿。编织、缝纫和读、写、算你都得教。你自己的技艺派什么用处呢？你大部份的思想--感情--情趣又有什么用呢？" "Save them till they are wanted. They will keep."" 留着它们等有用时再说。它们可以保存下来。" "You know what you undertake, then?"" 那你知道你要干的事了。" 
我知道。" He now smiled: and not a bitter or a sad smile, but one wellpleased and deeply gratified. 这时他笑了，不是苦笑，也不是伤心的笑，而是十分满意并深为感激的笑容。 "And when will you commence the exercise of your function?"" 你什么时候开始履行职务？" "I will go to my house to-morrow, and open the school, if you like,next week."" 我明天就到自己的房子去，要是你高兴，下周就开学。" "Very well: so be it."" 很好，就这样吧。" 
他立起身来，穿过房间，一动不动地站着再次看着我。他摇了摇头。 "What do you disapprove of, Mr. Rivers?" I asked." 你有什么不赞成呢，里弗斯先生？"我问。 "You will not stay at Morton long: no, no!"" 你不会在莫尔顿呆得很久，不，不会的：" "Why? What is your reason for saying so?"" 为什么？你这么说的理由是什么？" "I read it in your eye; it is not of that description which promisesthe maintenance of an even tenor in life."" 我从你的眼睛里看到了。不是那种预示着要安度一生的表情。" 
我没有雄心。" He started at the word "ambitious." He repeated, "No. What madeyou think of ambition? Who is ambitious? I know I am: but how didyou find it out?" 他听了"雄心"两个字吃了一惊，便重复说："不，你怎么会想到雄心？谁雄心勃勃呢？我知道自己是这样。但你怎么发现的？" "I was speaking of myself."" 我在说我自己。" "Well, if you are not ambitious, you are--" He paused." 嗯，要是你并不雄心勃勃，那你是--"他打住了。 "What?"" 是什么呢？" 
我正要说多情，但也许你会误解这个字，而会不高兴。我的意思是，人类的爱心和同情心在你的身上表现得很强烈。我确信你不会长期满足于在孤寂中度过闲暇，把你的工作时间用于一项完全没有刺激的单调劳动，"他又强调着补充说，"就象我不会满足于住在这里，埋没在沼泽地里，封闭在大山之中-一上帝赐予我的天性与此格格不入，上天所赋予的才能会被断送--会弄得．一无用处。这会儿你听见了我如何自相矛盾了吧。我自己讲道时说要安于自己卑贱的命运，只要为上帝效劳，即使当砍柴工和汲水人也心甘情愿一一而我，上帝所任命的牧师，几乎是焦躁不安地咆哮着。哎呀，爱好与原则总得想个办法统一起来。" He left the room. In this brief hour I had learnt more of him thanin the whole previous month: yet still he puzzled me. 他走出了房间。短短的一小时之内，我对他的了解胜过于以前的一个月。不过他仍使我无法理解。 Diana and Mary Rivers became more sad and silent as the dayapproached for leaving their brother and their home. They bothtried to appear as usual; bat the sorrow they had to struggleagainst was one that could not be entirely conquered or concealed.Diana intimated that this would be a different parting from any theyhad ever yet known. It would probably, as far as St. John wasconcerned, be a parting for years: it might be a parting for life. 随着同哥哥和家园告别的日子越来越近，黛安娜和玛丽．里弗斯也越来越伤心，越来越沉默了。她们都想装得同往常一样，但是她们所要驱除的忧愁是无法完全克制或是掩饰的。黛娜说，这次离别与以往所经历的完全不同。就圣.约翰来说，那可能是一去几年，也可能是一辈子。 "He will sacrifice all to his long-framed resolves," she said:"natural affection and feelings more potent still. St. John looksquiet, Jane; but he hides a fever in his vitals. You would thinkhim gentle, yet in some things he is inexorable as death; and theworst of it is, my conscience will hardly permit me to dissuade himfrom his severe decision: certainly, I cannot for a moment blamehim for it. It is right, noble, Christian: yet it breaks myheart!" And the tears gushed to her fine eyes. Mary bent her headlow over her work." 他会为他长期形成的决定而牺牲一切，"她说："但天性的爱恋与感情却更加强烈。圣.约翰看上去文文静静，简，但是他的躯体里隐藏着一种热情。你可能认为他很温顺，但在某些事情上，他可以像死一般冷酷。最糟糕的是，我的良心几乎不容我说服他放弃自己苛刻的决定。当然我也绝不能为此而责备他。这是正当、高尚、符合基督教精神的，但使我心碎。"说完，眼泪一下子涌上了她漂亮的眼睛。玛丽低着头干着自己的活儿。
| 
