目 录 上一节 下一节 
如今我们已没有父亲，很快就要没有家，没有哥哥了，"她喃喃地说。 At that moment a little accident supervened, which seemed decreed byfate purposely to prove the truth of the adage, that "misfortunesnever come singly," and to add to their distresses the vexing one ofthe slip between the cup and the lip. St. John passed the windowreading a letter. He entered. 这时候发生了一个小小的插曲，仿佛也是天意，要证实"祸不单行"的格言，伤心之中因眼看到手的东西又失掉而更添恼怒。圣.约翰走过窗前，读着一封信，他走进房间。 "Our uncle John is dead," said he." 我们的舅舅去世了，"他说。 Both the sisters seemed struck: not shocked or appalled; thetidings appeared in their eyes rather momentous than afflicting. 两位姐妹都似乎一怔，既不感到震惊也不表示惊讶。在她们的眼睛里这消息显得很重要，但并不令人痛苦。 "Dead?" repeated Diana." 死了？"黛安娜重复说。 
是的。" She riveted a searching gaze on her brother's face. "And whatthen?" she demanded, in a low voice. 她带着搜索的目光紧盯着她哥哥的脸庞。"那又怎样呢？"她低声问。 "What then, Die?" he replied, maintaining a marble immobility offeature. "What then? Why--nothing. Read."" 那又怎样，死了？"他回答，面部象大理石一样毫无表情。"那又怎样？哎呀-一没有怎样。自己看吧。" He threw the letter into her lap. She glanced over it, and handedit to Mary. Mary perused it in silence, and returned it to herbrother. All three looked at each other, and all three smiled--adreary, pensive smile enough. 他把信扔到她膝头。她眼睛粗略地扫了一下，把它交给了玛丽。玛丽默默地细读着，后来又把信还给了她哥哥。三人彼此你看我，我看你，都笑了起来--那是一种凄凉、忧郁的笑容。 "Amen! We can yet live," said Diana at last." 阿门！我们还能活着，"黛安娜终于说。 
不管怎么说，这并没有弄得我们比以前更糟，"玛丽说。 "Only it forces rather strongly on the mind the picture of whatMIGHT HAVE BEEN," said Mr. Rivers, "and contrasts it somewhat toovividly with what IS."" 只不过它强行使人想起本来可能会出现的景象，"里弗斯先生说，"而同实际的景象形成有些过份鲜明的对照。" He folded the letter, locked it in his desk, and again went out. 他折好信，锁进抽屉，又走了出去。 For some minutes no one spoke. Diana then turned to me. 几分钟内没有人开腔。黛安娜转向我。 "Jane, you will wonder at us and our mysteries," she said, "andthink us hard-hearted beings not to be more moved at the death of sonear a relation as an uncle; but we have never seen him or knownhim. He was my mother's brother. My father and he quarrelled longago. It was by his advice that my father risked most of hisproperty in the speculation that ruined him. Mutual recriminationpassed between them: they parted in anger, and were neverreconciled. My uncle engaged afterwards in more prosperousundertakings: it appears he realised a fortune of twenty thousandpounds. He was never married, and had no near kindred but ourselvesand one other person, not more closely related than we. My fatheralways cherished the idea that he would atone for his error byleaving his possessions to us; that letter informs us that he hasbequeathed every penny to the other relation, with the exception ofthirty guineas, to be divided between St. John, Diana, and MaryRivers, for the purchase of three mourning rings. He had a right,of course, to do as he pleased: and yet a momentary damp is cast onthe spirits by the receipt of such news. Mary and I would haveesteemed ourselves rich with a thousand pounds each; and to St. Johnsuch a sum would have been valuable, for the good it would haveenabled him to do."" 简，你会对我们和我们的秘密感到奇怪，"她说，"而且会认为我们心肠太狠，居然象舅舅这样一位近亲去世了却并不那么动情。但是我们从来没有见过他，也不知道他。他是我们母亲的兄弟。很久以前我父亲和他曾有过争吵。听从他的建议，我们父亲把大部分资产冒险投入一桩后来毁了他的买卖。彼此都责备对方。他们怒气冲冲地分别了，从此没有和好。我舅舅后来又投资了几家使他财运亨通的企业。他似乎积攒了二万英镑的财产。他-直单身，除了我们也没有近亲，另外有一个关系比我们要离得远些。我的父亲一直希望他会把遗产留给我们，以弥补他的过失。这封信通知我们，他已把每个子儿都给了另外一位亲戚，只留下三十畿尼，由圣.约翰、黛安娜和玛丽．里弗斯三平分，用来购置三枚丧戒。当然他有权按他高兴的去做，但是收到这样的消息暂时总使我们有些扫兴。玛丽和我都会认为各得一千英镑是很富的了，而这样一笔钱对圣.约翰所要做的好事也是很可贵的。" 
这番解释以后，这个话题也就扔到了一边，里弗斯先生和他的妹妹也没有再提起。第二天我离开沼泽居去莫尔顿。第三天黛安娜和玛丽告别这里去遥远的Ｂ城。一周后里弗斯先生和汉娜去了牧师住宅，于是这古老的田庄就被废弃了。 My home, then, when I at last find a home,--is a cottage; a littleroom with whitewashed walls and a sanded floor, containing fourpainted chairs and a table, a clock, a cupboard, with two or threeplates and dishes, and a set of tea-things in delf. Above, achamber of the same dimensions as the kitchen, with a deal bedsteadand chest of drawers; small, yet too large to be filled with myscanty wardrobe: though the kindness of my gentle and generousfriends has increased that, by a modest stock of such things as arenecessary. 我的家呀--我终干找到了一个家--是一间小屋。小房间里墙壁已粉刷过，地面是用沙铺成的。房间内有四把漆过的椅子，一张桌子，一个钟，一个碗橱。橱里有两三个盘子和碟子，还有一套荷兰白釉蓝彩陶器茶具。楼上有一个面积跟厨房一般大小的房间，里面有一个松木床架和一个衣柜，虽然很小，盛放我为数不多的衣物绰绰有余，尽管我的和蔼可亲、慷慨大方的朋友，已经为我增添了一些必要的衣服。 It is evening. I have dismissed, with the fee of an orange, thelittle orphan who serves me as a handmaid. I am sitting alone onthe hearth. This morning, the village school opened. I had twentyscholars. But three of the number can read: none write or cipher.Several knit, and a few sew a little. They speak with the broadestaccent of the district. At present, they and I have a difficulty inunderstanding each other's language. Some of them are unmannered,rough, intractable, as well as ignorant; but others are docile, havea wish to learn, and evince a disposition that pleases me. I mustnot forget that these coarsely-clad little peasants are of flesh andblood as good as the scions of gentlest genealogy; and that thegerms of native excellence, refinement, intelligence, kind feeling,are as likely to exist in their hearts as in those of the best-born.My duty will be to develop these germs: surely I shall find somehappiness in discharging that office. Much enjoyment I do notexpect in the life opening before me: yet it will, doubtless, if Iregulate my mind, and exert my powers as I ought, yield me enough tolive on from day to day. 这会儿正是傍晚时分，我给了当我女仆的小孤女一个桔子，打发她走了。我独自坐在火炉旁。今天早上，村校开学了。我有二十个学生，但只有三个能读，没有人会写会算，有几个能编织，少数几个会一点缝纫，她们说起话来地方口音很重。眼下我和她们彼此难以听懂对方的语言。其中有几个没有礼貌，十分粗野。难以驾驭，同时又很无知。但其余的却容易管教，愿意学习，显露出一种令人愉快的气质。我决不能忘记，这些衣衫粗陋的小农民，像最高贵血统的后裔一样有血有肉的；跟出身最好的人一样，天生的美德、雅致，智慧、善良的的情感，都可能在她们的心田里发芽，我的职责是帮助这些萌芽成长，当然在尽责时我能获得某种愉快。但我并不期望从展现在我面前的生活中尝到多大乐趣。不过无疑要是我调节自己的心态，尽力去做，它也会给我以足够的酬报，让我一天天生活下去。 Was I very gleeful, settled, content, during the hours I passed inyonder bare, humble schoolroom this morning and afternoon? Not todeceive myself, I must reply--No: I felt desolate to a degree. Ifelt--yes, idiot that I am--I felt degraded. I doubted I had takena step which sank instead of raising me in the scale of socialexistence. I was weakly dismayed at the ignorance, the poverty, thecoarseness of all I heard and saw round me. But let me not hate anddespise myself too much for these feelings; I know them to be wrong--that is a great step gained; I shall strive to overcome them. To-morrow, I trust, I shall get the better of them partially; and in afew weeks, perhaps, they will be quite subdued. In a few months, itis possible, the happiness of seeing progress, and a change for thebetter in my scholars may substitute gratification for disgust. 今天上午和下午我在那边四壁空空、简陋不堪的教室里度过的几小时，难道自己就快乐、安心、知足吗，为了不自欺欺人，我得回答--没有。我觉得有些孤寂，我感到--是呀．自己真愚蠢--我感到有失身份。我怀疑我所跨出的一步不是提高而是降低了自己的社会地位。我对周围见到和听到的无知、贫穷和粗俗略微有点失望。但别让我因为这些情感而痛恨和蔑视自己。我知道这些情感是不对的--这是一大进步。我要努力驱除这些情感。我相信明天我将部分地战胜它们；几周之后或许完全征服它们；几个月后，我会高兴地看到进步，看到学生们大有进展，于是满意就会取代厌恶了。 Meantime, let me ask myself one question--Which is better?--To havesurrendered to temptation; listened to passion; made no painfuleffort--no struggle;--but to have sunk down in the silken snare;fallen asleep on the flowers covering it; wakened in a southernclime, amongst the luxuries of a pleasure villa: to have been nowliving in France, Mr. Rochester's mistress; delirious with his lovehalf my time--for he would--oh, yes, he would have loved me well fora while. He DID love me--no one will ever love me so again. Ishall never more know the sweet homage given to beauty, youth, andgrace--for never to any one else shall I seem to possess thesecharms. He was fond and proud of me--it is what no man besides willever be.--But where am I wandering, and what am I saying, and aboveall, feeling? Whether is it better, I ask, to be a slave in afool's paradise at Marseilles--fevered with delusive bliss one hour--suffocating with the bitterest tears of remorse and shame the next--or to be a village-schoolmistress, free and honest, in a breezymountain nook in the healthy heart of England? 同时，也让我问自己一个问题--何者为好？--经不住诱惑听凭欲念摆布，不作痛苦的努力--没有搏斗--落入温柔的陷阱，在覆盖着陷阱的花丛中沉沉睡去。在南方的气候中一觉醒来，置身于享乐别墅的奢华之中，原来已住在法国，做了罗切斯特先生的情妇，一半的时间因为他的爱而发狂--因为他会--呵，不错，他暂时会很爱我。他确实爱我--再也没有谁会这么爱我了。我永远也看不到有谁会对美丽、青春、优雅如此虔敬了--因为我不会对任何其他人产生这样的魅力。他非常喜欢我，为我感到自豪--而其他人是谁也做不到的--可是我会在哪儿漫游，我会说什么，尤其是我会有什么感觉呢？我问，在马赛愚人的天堂做一个奴隶--一会儿开心得浑身发烧，头脑发昏--一会儿因为羞愧和悔恨而痛苦流涕，是这样好呢，还是--在健康的英国中部一个山风吹拂的角落，做一个无忧无虑老老实实的乡村女教师好呢？
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