目 录 上一节 下一节 
我坐了下来，圣.约翰坐在我旁边。他抬头仰望山隘，又低头俯视空谷。他的目光随着溪流飘移，随后又回过来扫过给溪流上了彩的明净的天空。他脱去帽子，让微风吹动头发，吻他的额头。他似乎在与这个他常到之处的守护神在交流，他的眼睛在向某种东西告别。 "And I shall see it again," he said aloud, "in dreams when I sleepby the Ganges: and again in a more remote hour--when anotherslumber overcomes me--on the shore of a darker stream!"" 我会再看到它的，"他大声说，"在梦中，当我睡在恒河旁边的时候。再有，在更遥远的时刻--当我又一次沉沉睡去的时候--在一条更暗淡的小溪的岸边。" Strange words of a strange love! An austere patriot's passion forhis fatherland! He sat down; for half-an-hour we never spoke;neither he to me nor I to him: that interval past, he recommenced - 离奇的话表达了一种离奇的爱：一个严峻的爱国者对自己祖国的激情！他坐了下来，我们足足有半小时没有说话，他没有开口，我也没有吱声。这段沉默之后，他开始说了： "Jane, I go in six weeks; I have taken my berth in an East Indiamanwhich sails on the 20th of June."" 简，六周以后我要走了，我已在'东印度人'号船里订好了舱位，六月二十日开航。" "God will protect you; for you have undertaken His work," Ianswered." 上帝一定会保护你，因为你做着他的工作，"我回答。 
不错，"他说，"那是我的光荣，也是我的欢乐。我是永不出错的主的一个奴仆。我出门远游不是在凡人的指引之下，不受有缺陷的法规的制约，不受软弱无力的同类可怜虫的错误控制。我的国王，我的立法者，我的首领是尽善尽美的主。我觉得奇怪，我周围的人为什么不热血沸腾，投到同一面旗帜下来--参加同一项事业。" "All have not your powers, and it would be folly for the feeble towish to march with the strong."" 并不是所有的人都具有你那样的毅力。弱者希望同强者并驾齐驱是愚蠢的。" "I do not speak to the feeble, or think of them: I address onlysuch as are worthy of the work, and competent to accomplish it."" 我说的不是弱者，想到的也不是他们。我只同那些与那工作相配，并能胜任的人说话。" "Those are few in number, and difficult to discover."" 那些人为数不多，而且很难发现。" "You say truly; but when found, it is right to stir them up--to urgeand exhort them to the effort--to show them what their gifts are,and why they were given--to speak Heaven's message in their ear,--tooffer them, direct from God, a place in the ranks of His chosen."" 你说得很对，但一经发现，就要把他们鼓动起来--敦促和激励他们去作出努力--告诉他们自己的才能何在，又是怎么被赋予的--向他们耳朵传递上天的信息--直接代表上帝，在选民的队伍中给他们一个位置。" 
要是他们确实能胜任那工作，那么他们的心灵岂不第一个得到感应？" I felt as if an awful charm was framing round and gathering over me:I trembled to hear some fatal word spoken which would at oncedeclare and rivet the spell. 我仿佛觉得一种可怕的魔力在我周围和头顶积聚起来。我颤栗着，唯恐听到某些会立即召来释放能力的致命的话。 "And what does YOUR heart say?" demanded St. John." 那么你的心怎么说呀？"圣.约翰问。 "My heart is mute,--my heart is mute," I answered, struck andthrilled." 我的心没有说--我的心没有说，"我回答，直吓得手骨悚然。 "Then I must speak for it," continued the deep, relentless voice."Jane, come with me to India: come as my helpmeet and fellow-labourer."" 那我得替它说了，"他继续说，语调深沉冷酷。"简，跟我一起去印度吧，做个伴侣和同事。" 
溪谷和天空顿时旋转起来，群山也翻腾起伏：我仿佛听到了上天的召唤--仿佛像马其顿那样的一位幻觉使者已经宣布："过来帮助我们，"但我不是使徒--我看不见那位使者--我接受不到他的召唤。 "Oh, St. John!" I cried, "have some mercy!"" 呵，圣.约翰！"我叫道，"怜悯怜悯吧！" I appealed to one who, in the discharge of what he believed hisduty, knew neither mercy nor remorse. He continued - 我在向一个自以为在履行职责，不知道怜悯和同情的人请求。他继续说： "God and nature intended you for a missionary's wife. It is notpersonal, but mental endowments they have given you: you are formedfor labour, not for love. A missionary's wife you must--shall be.You shall be mine: I claim you--not for my pleasure, but for mySovereign's service."" 上帝和大自然要你做一个传教士的妻子，他们给予你的不是肉体上的能力，而是精神上的票赋。你生来是为了操劳，而不是为了爱情。你得做传教士的妻子--一定得做。你将属于我的，我要你--不是为了取乐，而是为了对主的奉献。" "I am not fit for it: I have no vocation," I said." 我不适合，我没有意志力，"我说。 
他估计到一开始我会反对，所以并没有被我的话所激怒。说真的他倚在背后的一块岩石上，双臂抱着放在胸前，脸色镇定沉着。我明白他早己准备好对付长久恼人的反抗，而且蓄足了耐心坚持到底--决心以他对别人的征服而告终。 "Humility, Jane," said he, "is the groundwork of Christian virtues:you say right that you are not fit for the work. Who is fit for it?Or who, that ever was truly called, believed himself worthy of thesummons? I, for instance, am but dust and ashes. With St. Paul, Iacknowledge myself the chiefest of sinners; but I do not suffer thissense of my personal vileness to daunt me. I know my Leader: thatHe is just as well as mighty; and while He has chosen a feebleinstrument to perform a great task, He will, from the boundlessstores of His providence, supply the inadequacy of the means to theend. Think like me, Jane--trust like me. It is the Rock of Ages Iask you to lean on: do not doubt but it will bear the weight ofyour human weakness."" 谦卑，简，"他说，"是基督美德的基础。你说得很对，你不适合这一工作。可谁适合呢？或者，那些真正受召唤的人，谁相信自己是配受召唤的呢？以我来说，不过是尘灰草芥而己，跟圣.保尔相比，我承认自己是最大的罪人。但我不允许这种个人的罪恶感使自己畏缩不前。我知道我的领路人。他公正而伟大，在选择一个微弱的工具来成就一项大事业时，他会借助上帝无穷的贮藏，为实现目标而弥补手段上不足。你我一样去想吧，简--像我一样去相信吧。我要你倚靠的是永久的磐石，不要怀疑，它会承受住你人性缺陷的负荷。" "I do not understand a missionary life: I have never studiedmissionary labours."" 我不了解传教士生活，从来没有研究过传教士的劳动。" "There I, humble as I am, can give you the aid you want: I can setyou your task from hour to hour; stand by you always; help you frommoment to moment. This I could do in the beginning: soon (for Iknow your powers) you would be as strong and apt as myself, andwould not require my help."" 听着，尽管我也很卑微，但我可以给予你所需要的帮助，可以把工作一小时一小时布置给你，常常支持你，时时帮助你。开始的时候我可以这么做，不久之后（因为我知道你的能力）你会像我一样强，一样合适，不需要我的帮助。" "But my powers--where are they for this undertaking? I do not feelthem. Nothing speaks or stirs in me while you talk. I am sensibleof no light kindling--no life quickening--no voice counselling orcheering. Oh, I wish I could make you see how much my mind is atthis moment like a rayless dungeon, with one shrinking fear fetteredin its depths--the fear of being persuaded by you to attempt what Icannot accomplish!"" 可是我的能力呢，--要承担这一工作，又从何谈起？我感觉不到灯火在燃烧起--感觉不到生命在加剧搏动--感觉不到有个声音在劝戒和鼓励我。呵，但愿我能让你看到，这会儿我的心象一个没有光线的牢房，它的角落里铐着一种畏畏缩缩的忧虑--那就是担心自己被你说服，去做我无法完成的事情。" 
我给你找到了一个答案--你，听着。自从同你初次接触以后，我就已经在注意你了。我已经研究了你十个月。那时我在你身上做了各种实验，我看到了什么，得出了什么启示呢？在乡村学校里，我发现你按时而诚实地完成了不合你习惯和心意的工作。我看到你能发挥自己的能力和机智去完成它。你能自控时，就能取胜。你知道自己突然发了财时非常镇静，从这里我看到了一个毫无底马罪过的心灵--钱财对你并没有过份的吸引力。你十分坚定地愿把财富分成四份，自己只留一份，把其余的让给了空有公道理由的其他三个人。从这里，我看到了一个为牺牲而狂喜拣起我所感兴趣的东西那种驯服性格中，从你一直坚持的孜孜不倦刻苦勤奋的精神中，从你对待困难那永不衰竭的活力和不可动摇的个性中，我看到了你具备我所寻求的一切品格。简，你温顺、勤奋、无私、忠心、坚定、勇敢。你很文雅而又很英勇。别再不信任你自己了--我可以毫无保留地信任你。你可以掌管印度学校，帮助印度女人，你的协助对我是无价之宝。"
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