目 录 上一节 下一节 
她顿了一下一一我没有吱声、她立刻接着说--： "That brother of mine cherishes peculiar views of some sortrespecting you, I am sure: he has long distinguished you by anotice and interest he never showed to any one else--to what end? Iwish he loved you--does he, Jane?"" 我这位哥哥对你的看法非同一般，我敢肯定。他早就对你特别注意和关心了，对别人可从来没有这样--什么目的呢？但愿他爱上了你--他爱你吗，简？" I put her cool hand to my hot forehead; "No, Die, not one whit." 我把她冷冰冰的手放在我发烫的额头上："不，黛，没有那回事儿。" "Then why does he follow you so with his eyes, and get you sofrequently alone with him, and keep you so continually at his side?Mary and I had both concluded he wished you to marry him."" 那他干嘛眼睛老盯着你--老是要你同他单独在一起，而且一直把你留在他身边？玛丽和我都断定他希望你嫁给他。" "He does--he has asked me to be his wife."" 他确实是这样--他求我做他的妻子"。 
黛安娜拍手叫好。"这正是我们的愿望和想法呢！你会嫁给他的，简，是吗？那样他就会留在英国了。" "Far from that, Diana; his sole idea in proposing to me is toprocure a fitting fellow-labourer in his Indian toils."" 他才不会呢，黛安娜。他向我求婚只有一个意思，那就是为他在印度的苦役找个合适的伙伴。" "What! He wishes you to go to India?"" 什么！他希望你去印度？" "Yes."" 不错。" "Madness!" she exclaimed. "You would not live three months there, Iam certain. You never shall go: you have not consented, have you,Jane?"" 简直疯了！"她嚷到。"我敢肯定，你在那里住不满三十月。你决不能去，你没有同意，是吧，简？" 
我已经拒绝嫁给他--" "And have consequently displeased him?" she suggested." 结果使他不高兴了？"她提醒说。 "Deeply: he will never forgive me, I fear: yet I offered toaccompany him as his sister."" 很不高兴，我担心他永远不会原谅我。不过我提出作为他的妹妹陪他去。" "It was frantic folly to do so, Jane. Think of the task youundertook--one of incessant fatigue, where fatigue kills even thestrong, and you are weak. St. John--you know him--would urge you toimpossibilities: with him there would be no permission to restduring the hot hours; and unfortunately, I have noticed, whatever heexacts, you force yourself to perform. I am astonished you foundcourage to refuse his hand. You do not love him then, Jane?"" 那真是傻到极点了，简。想一想你要干的事吧--累个没完的，身强力壮的人都会给累死，更何况你又那么弱。圣·约翰--你知道他--会怂恿你去干做不到的事情。你要是跟着他，就是大热天也不让歇口气。可惜就我所见，凡是他强求你做的，你都逼着自己去完成。你倒是有勇气拒绝他的求婚，我真感到惊讶，那么你是不爱他了，简？" "Not as a husband."" 不是把他当作丈夫来爱。" 
不过他是个漂亮的家伙。" "And I am so plain, you see, Die. We should never suit."" 而我又长得那么平庸，你知道，黛。我们决不般配。" "Plain! You? Not at all. You are much too pretty, as well as toogood, to be grilled alive in Calcutta." And again she earnestlyconjured me to give up all thoughts of going out with her brother." 平庸！你？绝对不是。你太漂亮，也太好了，不值得那么活活地放到加尔各答去烤。"她再次真诚地恳求我放弃同她兄长一起出国的一切念头。 "I must indeed," I said; "for when just now I repeated the offer ofserving him for a deacon, he expressed himself shocked at my want ofdecency. He seemed to think I had committed an impropriety inproposing to accompany him unmarried: as if I had not from thefirst hoped to find in him a brother, and habitually regarded him assuch."" 说真的我得这样，"我说，"因为刚才我再次提出愿意做他的副牧师时，他对我的不恭表示惊奇。他好像认为提议不结婚陪他去是有失体统，仿佛我一开始就不希望把他当成兄长，而且一直这么看他似的。" "What makes you say he does not love you, Jane?"" 你怎么会说他不爱你呢，简？" 
你应该听听他自己谈谈对这个问题的看法。他口口声声解释说他要结婚，不是为了他自己，而是为了他的圣职。他还告诉我，我生来就是为了劳作，而不是为了爱情。无疑这话也有道理。但在我看来，如果我生来不是为了爱情，那么随之而来，也生来不是为了婚配。这岂不是咄咄怪事，黛，一生跟一个男人拴在一起，而他只把我当作一样有用的工具？" "Insupportable--unnatural--out of the question!"" 不能容忍--不通人情--办不到的！" "And then," I continued, "though I have only sisterly affection forhim now, yet, if forced to be his wife, I can imagine thepossibility of conceiving an inevitable, strange, torturing kind oflove for him, because he is so talented; and there is often acertain heroic grandeur in his look, manner, and conversation. Inthat case, my lot would become unspeakably wretched. He would notwant me to love him; and if I showed the feeling, he would make mesensible that it was a superfluity, unrequired by him, unbecoming inme. I know he would."" 还有，"我继续说，"虽然我现在对他有兄妹之情，但要是我被迫做了他妻子，我能想象，我对他的爱很可能会无可奈何，奇怪反常，备受折磨。因为他那么有才能，神态、举动和谈吐无不诱出一种英雄气概。那样，我的命运就会悲惨得难以形容。他会不要我爱他，要是我依然有所表露，他会让我感到，那是多余的，他既不需要，对我也不合适。我知道他会这样。" "And yet St. John is a good man," said Diana." 而圣.约翰是个好人，"黛安娜说。 "He is a good and a great man; but he forgets, pitilessly, thefeelings and claims of little people, in pursuing his own largeviews. It is better, therefore, for the insignificant to keep outof his way, lest, in his progress, he should trample them down.Here he comes! I will leave you, Diana." And I hastened upstairsas I saw him entering the garden." 他是一个好人，也是个伟人。可惜他在追求大目标时，忘掉了小人物的情感和要求。因此，微不足道的人还是离他远一点好，免得他在前进时把他们踩倒了。他来了，我得走了，黛安娜。"我见他进了园子，便匆匆上楼去了。 
但是吃晚饭时我不得不再次与他相遇。用餐时他完全像平常那样显得很平静，我本以为他不会同我说话了，而且确信他已经放弃了自己的婚姻计划，但后来的情况表明，在这两点上我都错了。他完全以平常的态度，或者说最近已习以为常的态度同我说话。无疑他求助于圣灵来克制我在他心里所激起的愤怒，现在他相信已再次宽恕了我。 For the evening reading before prayers, he selected the twenty-firstchapter of Revelation. It was at all times pleasant to listen whilefrom his lips fell the words of the Bible: never did his fine voicesound at once so sweet and full--never did his manner become soimpressive in its noble simplicity, as when he delivered the oraclesof God: and to-night that voice took a more solemn tone--thatmanner a more thrilling meaning--as he sat in the midst of hishousehold circle (the May moon shining in through the uncurtainedwindow, and rendering almost unnecessary the light of the candle onthe table): as he sat there, bending over the great old Bible, anddescribed from its page the vision of the new heaven and the newearth--told how God would come to dwell with men, how He would wipeaway all tears from their eyes, and promised that there should be nomore death, neither sorrow nor crying, nor any more pain, becausethe former things were passed away. 祷告前的晚读，他选了《启示录》的第二十一章。倾听《圣经》中的话从他嘴里吐出来始终是一种享受。他在发表上帝的圣谕时，他优美的嗓子是最洪亮又最动听的，他的态度之高尚纯朴也最令人难忘。而今天晚上，他的语调更加严肃--他的态度更富有令人震颤的含义--他坐在围成一圈的家人中间（五月的月亮透过没有拉上窗帘的窗子，泻进室内，使桌上的烛光显得几乎是多余的了）。他坐在那里，低头看着伟大而古老的圣经，描绘着书页中的新天堂和新世界的幻境--告诉大家上帝如何会来到世间与人同住，如何会抹去人们的眼泪，并允诺不会再有死亡，也不会有忧愁或者哭泣，不会有痛苦，因为这些往事都已一去不复回了。 The succeeding words thrilled me strangely as he spoke them:especially as I felt, by the slight, indescribable alteration insound, that in uttering them, his eye had turned on me. 接着的一番话，他讲得让我出奇地激动不已，尤其是从他声音的难以描述的细小变化中，我感觉到，他在说这些话的时候，目光已经转向了我。 "He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God,and he shall be my son. But," was slowly, distinctly read, "thefearful, the unbelieving, &c., shall have their part in the lakewhich burneth with fire and brimstone, which is the second death."" 得胜的，必承受这些为业，我要作他的上帝，他要作我的儿子。"这段话读得又慢又清楚，"唯有胆怯的，不信的……他们的份，就在烧着硫磺的火湖里，这是第二次的死。"
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