目 录 上一节 下一节 
现在我已经完全病倒了。我已写信给公爵问他要钱，因为我已经没有钱了，而债主们都来了，他们一点同情心也没有，带着借据逼我还帐。公爵会给我回信吗？阿尔芒，您为什么不在巴黎啊！如果您在的话，您会来看我的，您来了会使我得到安慰。 20 December 十二月二十日 The weather is dreadful: it's snowing and I am here alone. For the last three days, a fever has laid me so low that I have been unable to write to you. Nothing has changed, my dear. Each day I have vague hopes of a letter from you, but it does not come and probably never will. Only men are strong enough to be unforgiving. The Duke has not replied. 天气很可怕，又下着雪，我孤零零地一个人在家里，三天来我一直在发高烧，没有跟您写过一个字。没有什么新情况，我的朋友，每天我总是痴心妄想能收到您一封信，但是信没有来，而且肯定是永远不会来的了。只有男人才硬得起心肠不给人宽恕。公爵没有给我回信。 Prudence has started up her visits to the pawn-shops again. 普律当丝又开始上当铺了。 I cough blood all the time. Oh! how you would grieve if you could see me now! You are so lucky to be where the sun is warm and not to have to face, as I do, an icy winter which lies heavy on your chest. Today, I got up for a while and, from behind the curtains at my window, I watched the bustle of life in Paris which I do believe I have put behind me once and for all. A few faces I knew appeared in the street: they passed quickly, cheerfully, without a care. Not one looked up at my window. However, a few young men have called and left their names. I was ill once before and you, who did not know me and had got nothing from me except a pert answer the day I first set eyes on you, you came to ask for news of me every morning. And now I am ill again. We spent six months together. I felt as much love for you as a woman's heart can contain and give, and now you are far away, you curse me and there is no word of comfort from you. But it was chance alone that made you desert me, I am sure, for if you were here in Paris, you would not leave my bedside nor my room. 我不停地咳血。啊！如果您看见我，一定会难受的。您在一个阳光明媚，气候温和的环境中是很幸福的，不像我这样，冰雪的严冬整个压在我胸口上。今天我起来了一会儿，隔着窗帘，我看到了窗外的巴黎生活，这种生活我已经跟它绝缘了。有几张熟脸快步穿过大街，他们欢乐愉快，无忧无虑，没有一个人抬起头来望望我的窗口。但是也有几个年轻人来过，留下了姓名。过去曾有过一次，在我生病的时候，您每天早晨都来打听我的病况，而那时候您还不认识我，您只是在我第一次认识您的时候从我那里得到过一次无礼的接待。我现在又病了，我们曾在一起过了六个月，凡是一个女人的心里能够容纳得下和能够给人的爱情，我都拿出来给了您。您在远方，您在咒骂我，我得不到您一句安慰的话。但这是命运促成您这样遗弃我的，这我是深信不疑的，因为如果您在巴黎，您是不会离开我的床头和我的房间的。 
十二月二十五日 My doctor has forbidden me to write every day. He is right, for remembering only makes the fever worse. But yesterday I received a letter which did me good ?more for the sentiments behind it than for any material help it brought me. So I am able to write to you today. The letter was from your father and this is what it said: 我的医生不准我天天写信。的确，回首往事只能使我的热度升高。但是昨天我收到了一封信，这封信使我感到舒服了些，这封信所表达的感情要比它给我带来的物质援助更让我高兴。因此我今天可以给您写信了。这封信是您父亲寄来的。下面就是这封信的内容。 "Madame, I have this moment learned that you are ill. If I were in Paris, I should call myself to ask after you, and if my son were here with me, I should send him to find out how you are. But I cannot leave C, and Armand is six or seven hundred leagues away. Allow me therefore simply to say, Madame, how grieved I am by your illness, and please believe that I hope most sincerely for your prompt recovery. 夫人：我刚刚知道您病了，如果我在巴黎的话，我会亲自来探问您的病情，如果我儿子在身旁的话，我会叫他去打听您的消息的；但是我不能离开C城，阿尔芒又远在六七百法里之外。请允许我跟您写封简单的信吧。夫人，对您的病我感到非常难过，请相信我，我诚挚地祝愿您早日痊愈。 One of my closest friends, Monsieur H, will call on you. He has been entrusted by me with an errand the result of which I await with impatience. Please receive him, and oblige 我一位好朋友H先生要到您家里去，请接待他。我请他代我办一件事，我正焦急地等待着这件事的结果。 Your humble servant? 致以最亲切的问候。 
这就是我接到的那封信，您父亲有一颗高贵的心，您要好好爱他，我的朋友，因为世界上值得爱的人不多，这张签着他姓名的信纸比我们最著名的医生开出的所有的药方要有效得多。 Monsieur H came this morning. He seemed terribly embarrassed by the delicate mission which Monsieur Duval had entrusted to him. He simply came to hand over a thousand ecus from your father. At first, I would not take the money, but Monsieur H said that by refusing I should offend Monsieur Duval, who had authorized him to give me this sum in the first instance and to supplement it with anything further I might need. I accepted his good offices which, coming from your father, cannot be regarded as charity. If I am dead when you return, show your father what I have just written about him, and tell him that as she penned these lines, the poor creature to whom he was kind enough to write this comforting letter, wept tears of gratitude and said a prayer for him. 今天早晨，H先生来了，他对迪瓦尔先生托付给他的微妙的任务似乎显得很为难，他是专门来代您父亲带一千埃居给我的。起先我是不想要的，但是H先生对我说，如果我不收下的话会使迪瓦尔先生不高兴，迪瓦尔先生授权他先把这笔钱给我，随后再满足我其他的需要。我接受了这个帮助，这个来自您父亲的帮助不能算是施舍。如果您回来的时候我已经死了，请把我刚才写的关于他的那一段话给他看，并告诉他，他好心给她写慰问信的那个可怜的姑娘在写这几行字的时候流下了感激的眼泪，并为他向天主祈祷。 4 January 一月四日 I have just come through a succession of racking days. I never knew how much pain our bodies can give us. Oh! my past life! I am now paying for it twice over! 我刚捱过了一些非常痛苦的日子。我从来没想到肉体会使人这样痛苦。呵！我过去的生活啊！今天我加倍偿还了。 I have had someone sitting with me each night. I could not breathe. A wandering mind and bouts of coughing share what remains of my sorry existence. 每天夜里都有人照料我，我喘不过气来。我可怜的一生剩下来的日子就这样在说胡话和咳嗽中度过。 
餐室里放满了朋友们送来的糖果和各式各样的礼物。在这些人中间，肯定有些人希望我以后能做他们的情妇。如果他们看到病魔已经把我折磨成了什么样子，我想他们一定会吓得逃跑的。 Prudence is using the presents I have been getting as New Year gifts to tradesmen. 普律当丝用我收到的新年礼物来送礼。 It has turned frosty, and the doctor has said that I can go out in a few days if the fine weather continues. 天气冷得都结冰了，医生对我说如果天气一直晴朗下去的话，过几天我可以出去走走。 8 January 一月八日 Yesterday, I went out for a drive in my carriage. The weather was splendid. There were crowds of people out on the Champs-Elysees. It seemed like the first smile of spring. Everywhere around me there was a carnival atmosphere. I had never before suspected that the sun's rays could contain all the joy, sweetness and consolation that I found in them yesterday. 昨天我坐着我的车子出门，天气很好。香榭丽舍大街人头攒动，真是一个明媚的早春。四周一片欢乐的气象。我从来也没有想到过，我还能在阳光下找到昨天那些使人感到喜悦、温暖和安慰的东西。 
所有的熟人我几乎全碰到了，他们一直是那么笑逐颜开，忙于寻乐。身在福中不知福的人有那么多啊！奥林普坐在一辆N先生送给她的漂亮的马车里经过，她想用眼光来侮辱我。她不知道我现在根本没有什么虚荣心了。一个好心的青年，我的老相识，问我是不是愿意去跟他一起吃夜宵，他说他有一个朋友非常希望认识我。 I gave him a sad smile and held out my hand, which was burning with fever. 我苦笑了笑，把我烧得滚烫的手伸给他。 I have never seen such surprise on a human face. 我从未见过谁的脸色有他那么惊惶的。 I got back at four o'clock and sat down to dinner with fairly good appetite. 我四点钟回到家里，吃晚饭时胃口还相当好。 The drive out has done me good. 这次出门对我是有好处的。 
一旦我病好起来的话，那该有多好啊！ How strongly the sight of the lives and happiness of others renews the will to live of those who, only the day before, alone with their souls in the darkness of the sickroom, wanted nothing better than to die soon! 有一些人在前一天还灵魂空虚，在阴沉沉的病房里祈求早离人世，但是在看到了别人的幸福生活以后居然也产生了一种想继续活下去的希望。 10 January 一月十日
| 
